Funny Random Tweets From The World

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mattstaff
Apr 5, 2020 4:00 PM EDT

Nothing like some good old random, funny tweets that manage to speak to this strange existence we call our own. They're relatable, and might take that racing mind to recess for awhile. 

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  • 01
    Text - WOODROW PEEL @WoodyLuvsCoffee ANTIC CITY I just Clorox wiped a bottle of Purell and Purelled my hands cuz I touched the Clorox canister. How far down a rabbit hole does this go?
    via anlyin
  • 02
    Text - Life and Times of Mom @VirginiaMcMurdo Adult Milestones Nobody Tells You About: One day you will use, clean, and store your crockpot, all in the same day.
    via anlyin
  • 03
    Text - your new dad @drankturpentine been lying in bed so long my grandson is going to take over a chocolate factory
    via anlyin
  • 04
    Text - California Dreaming @Desert_Musings I just ate an entire king size bar of dark chocolate Kit Kat. Don't judge me. Dark chocolate is healthy food.
    via anlyin
  • 05
    Text - Laura Bassett O @LEBassett We've been so worried about my 95- y-o grandmother at a retirement home in New Orleans and she called today to say they ran out of Tito's vodka and could we ship her some.
    via anlyin
  • 06
    Text - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama Most people: this is awful, I'm depressed and anxious and there is so much going on Country music singers: this is my time to shine
    via anlyin
  • 07
    Leaf - The Library Owl @SketchesbyBoze he's getting ready to reveal that every single person on the train committed the murder Faces in Things @FacesPics · 18h A gentleman leaf
    via anlyin
  • 08
    Text - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama This week would have been Spirit Week at school, so in an effort to maintain normalcy for the kids, I came up with the following: Monday - pajama day Tuesday - pajama day Wednesday- pajama day Thursday - pajama day Friday - pajama day
    via anlyin
  • 09
    Photo caption - Becca Barton @Becckitt when the self care and crafting and cooking ISNT curing your anxiety
    via anlyin
  • 10
    Text - Meghan Camarena @Strawburry17 I bought a mini toy laptop for my dog. So he can at least look like he's helping support this family.
    via anlyin
  • 11
    Text - Daz? @HomeProbably There's never a bad time to let someone know you appreciate them.
    via anlyin
  • 12
    Text - Bryan Russell Smith @bryan_r_smith Never knew I could miss overpriced drinks this much
    via anlyin
  • 13
    Text - Richmond Police @TheQueerCrimer #RentStrike #AprilFools Hi Joe, I just want to let you know that I paid rent in full, it took the last little bit of savings that I had but I know how hard you worked to provide shelter for me 7 MIN AGO O Thanks! I really appreciate that. 6 MIN AGO April Fools I'm not paying rent. I haven't worked in three weeks and I have to eat. 5 MIN AGO O Read your lease. 4 MIN AGO 3 MIN AGO O
    via anlyin
  • 14
    Text - Mike Wells @mikewtfwells I just had happy hour at my place. It's the hour my fiancée left to walk the dog and I had time to play video games.
    via anlyin
  • 15
    Text - ADHDean @ADHDeanASL One of my biggest worries is that when all this is over, I will have forgotten that I'm supposed to hold my farts in public
    via anlyin
  • 16
    Text - james @james_comics teacher: what do you want to be when you grow up me: happy teacher: [on phone] we need to talk about your son's unrealistic expectations
    via anlyin
  • 17
    Text - Eden Dranger O @Eden_Eats | can't sleep. I'm jet lagged from my trip to my basement.
    via anlyin
  • 18
    Text - Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets @gfishandnuggets My 6yo looked at me today and with a totally straight face said "Mommy, I think you like Disney + more than we do." Busted.
    via anlyin
  • 19
    Text - New-ish Mom @LifeThrewLemons "It is physically impossible for Mommy to hop before 9am," is a thing I just said.
    via anlyin
  • 20
    Text - Dave @pittdave13 2019: YOLO 2020: solo
    via anlyin

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hilarious twitter social media ridiculous funny
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