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I thought I was ready to date again
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Preston asked for my number pretty early on
I matched with Preston, a 37-year-old California native and MIT graduate who recently relocated to New York. Right away he requested I give him my number so we could communicate via text, and though I thought it was slightly premature I ultimately relinquished my digits.
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Alas, his persistence paid off
After chatting for a few days I found Preston quite sarcastic for my liking, so I was unsure whether or not I was inclined to meet in person. Every few days he would text me "Hey Samantha, how's it going?" Alas, his persistence paid off, and I agreed to meet him at a French bar and bistro in the West Village.
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He was dressed all wrong for the weather
On a balmy 75 degrees day, Preston arrived (15 minutes late I might add) outside our meeting point dressed in several layers, a scarf, and a beanie. Instead of entering the restaurant to have a drink Preston had another idea.
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He tried to get us back to his apartment... I wasn't having it
"Let's take a walk!" he suggested. "Do you mind if we stop back at my apartment so I can drop off my scarf? It's pretty warm out."
Apprehensive to go with him to his apartment I proposed he just carry it.
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He had no idea how to date
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Despite having been on 100 dates!
Remembering that he had recently moved to NYC I inquired as to whether or not he had been on many dates.
"I have been on about 100 dates thus far," he said.
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Then came the shocking revelation!
Preston then revealed that he had been building a dating bot that does the texting (hence why he wanted to chat via text) and even schedules his dates for him. He then proceeded to demonstrate how his bot worked whilst showing me a long list of other women's names he had dates with and how it would even put the dates in his calendar to remind him when/where he needed to be on that particular day/night.
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I was speechless
"There have been some glitches though. It actually scheduled four dates for me at the same time today, which is why I was late!" He explained.
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Preston was a total creep
At this point, I'd had my fill of Preston and decided to put an end to my misery, but not before he revealed that though he has not been on many second dates, he has hooked up with 'tons' of girls.
"OK, we are clearly not getting drinks and clearly not looking for the same things, so I think I'm going to head home," I said.
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Preston needed to leave. Now
"Oh, you thought we were going to get drinks? Did I say that? That must have been the bot. I actually don't feel like drinking because I've been drinking pretty much every night."
Preston attempted to walk me back to my train despite me desperately trying to cut him loose. He was grasping at straws trying to sound interested in me by asking me where I am from and where I live.
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PLEASE. JUST. GO!
These were all questions I had previously answered…
…to a robot.
The date lasted all of 15 minutes…which was 15 minutes too long.
Later that week I received a text from Preston's number. "Hey Samantha, want to go for brunch this weekend?"
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Bot byeeeee
I texted back to tell him to lose my contact info as there was no way I would want to see this asshole ever again.
To which he replied, "Sorry, was the bot. Will add you to the blacklist."
Yes, Preston. You do that.
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