Bride's Sister Threatens To Wear White Dress, Gets Kicked Off Duties

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mattstaff
Aug 7, 2020 2:00 PM EDT

Weddings are a tense enough ordeal without family members selfishly stirring up all kinds of ridiculous, and entirely avoidable drama. It sounds like this bride's sister and mother crossed the kind of lines that ultimately warrant they get uninvited from the wedding. Sometimes the boundaries need to be set in a big way, even if it's painful. 

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  • 01
    Text - AITA for kicking my sister out of my wedding So my sister (30 F) and I (33 F) have always had a contentious relationship, and l've never understood why. She has always been condescending and rude to me. She also still lives with my mom and is very close with her. Last year, I got engaged to my fiancé (36 M). Everyone was congratulatory except for my sister. Her response was "wow you're really trying to beat me down the aisle huh." She wasn't dating anyone at the time, and still isn't, so
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  • 02
    Text - wedding gown. I had invited my MOH, my mom and my MIL to be. My mother insisted my sister come along. Every dress I tried on, my mother sat straight faced and gave no input. When I found THE dress, she just shrugged. My sister had wandered off, and I didn't care to ask where she was. My sales consultant could see how sad I was over my moms lack of enthusiasm for the dress so she brought me back into the fitting room to put a veil on me. By the time I came out of the fitting room, my mom a
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  • 03
    Text - gowns, as she wasn't getting married any time soon and I felt it was really inappropriate to play dress up. My sister said she was trying to find something to wear as a bridesmaid, as she refused to wear the "hideous" black dresses I had picked. After this, I decided to remove my sister from the wedding party. She has since been threatening to show up at my wedding in a white dress, and has been making other threats to ruin our wedding when it happens. I told her I don't want her there. M
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  • 04
    Text - The_Amazing_Daizies • 17h • Partassipant [2] NTA, and I feel like you should ban your mum as well, since she had the audacity to gush over your sis wearing a dress even though it's your freaking wedding Not to mention your Sisters disgusting behaviour Reply 1.4k
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  • 05
    Text - yerawizardamberr • 17h • Asshole Aficionado [10] 2 Awards Tell them both they're uninvited and will be barred from entering your wedding. Don't let them ruin your big day!
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  • 06
    Text - LisaW481 • 17h • Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA but you need a friend with a red solo cup full of red wine who happens to be clumsy. It'll be worth it if your sister decides to attend your wedding in a wedding dress. Reply 531 ...
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  • 07
    Text - Lixou1991 • 17h NTA. Your sister is childish, and to me it's obvious that your mother play favorite. Your sister don't want to wear the black dress? Okay, she is not your bridesmaid anymore. Problem solved. How did your MIL and your MOH when your sister tried the dress? Reply 228 ...
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  • 08
    Text - jazberry715386428 • 17h • Partassipant [2] NTA at all and honestly I don't think your mother should be there either, she's obviously got a favourite child and I cannot fathom why she wouldn't at least feign enthusiasm for your dream dress. They both sound awful and I wouldn't want either of them there. If I were you I would simply not tell them the date/location if you haven't already. They sound like their participation will do nothing but drag you down on what's supposed to be one of th
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  • 09
    Text - Reasonable_racoon • 15h • Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA obviously. Start cutting out both of them. Get security on the day, briefed to keep sister out. told me if my sister isn't at my wedding she won't be either. "I understand your decision, Mom." This is the only reasonable response to stupid ultimatums like this. You probably need to go low- to no-contact. Check out O r/raisedbynarcissists . Reply 109 ...
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  • 10
    Text - Elephant-dogs • 11h I would also like to add that my parents had a very messy divorce. I tried to remain neutral but my sister obviously sided with my mom and has completely gone NC with my father. We still have a strained relationship, and once I got engaged my mom made it VERY clear he was not to be invited to the wedding at all. I would also like to add my fiancé and I are paying for the wedding with the help of HIS parents. Neither of my parents have offered to contribute although my
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  • 11
    Text - Metorjetta • 17h • Partassipant [2] After reading and some time spent thinking, you're clearly NTA. However, I have a couple of things to point out. For one, your mother favors your sister more than you, or at least seems to want her to be married first. Second, it's quite apparent your sister is extremely jealous of you, and perhaps even your overall happiness. Why else would she become so petty, so disrespectful over your moment to shine? I don't think you should just elope, as you have
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  • 12
    Text - beepboopzanonymous • 9h Nta, this is literally an episode of Say Yes to the Dress Disinvite both your sister and your mother. They clearly don't care about you as much as themselves. Hire security to make sure she doesn't upstage you and crash your wedding.
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  • 13
    Text - Bug_a_boo_Mama • 17h • Asshole Aficionado [11] NTA. Your sister is a jealous brat and is your mother favorite. Sounds like she is purposely trying to ruin your wedding and any planning going along with it. She deserves to be removed from the wedding party. At the rate shes going and her threats i would uninvite her as well. She will show up in white because shes envious. Make sure you have security for your wedding Reply 1 16 ...
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  • 14
    Text - dnjprod • 17h • Professor Emeritass [87] NTA: this is YOUR wedding. You are being completely reasonable and your mom and sister are not. I don't understand the "no one can wear white but the bride" thing, but I know it exists and ANYONE who does it is doing it to be an asshole. Both your mom and sister sound toxic as hell and you would be OK with them absent. Also, maybe it's just me but it makes SUPER sense that the OLDER sister would be getting married first. Reply 1 48 ...
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  • 15
    Text - lolol69lolol • 17h • Partassipant [1] NTA. I have also had a contentious relationship with my sister, but she asked me to be her MOH so I felt obligated to ask her to by mine. One of the things I regret most about my wedding. Your bridal party is there to stand up next to you and support you on (what likely until this point is) the biggest day of your life. Your sister is not supportive of you or your marriage it sounds like. Don't have anybody at your wedding that you/your fiancé don't w
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  • 16
    Text - squirrelgirl81 • 13h NTA. They should both be banned from your wedding. If it makes you feel any better I kicked my sister out of my wedding, too. She threw a fit and said she wouldn't be in my wedding if my mom and stepdad were there, so I told her to stay home. Best decision I ever made :) Definitely have a few people on point to make sure they don't crash and that they're quickly shuffled out of the venue if they do show up though. Reply ...
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  • 17
    Text - tinkerbell2306 • 17h • Partassipant [1] NTA. Your sister has issues and your mum enables her. Ban your mum too I say! Pair of crazies! Reply ...
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  • 18
    Text - ScoobyFan70 • 16h • Asshole Aficionado [11] NTA she sounds incredibly jealous of you Reply 1 4 ...
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  • 19
    Text - Nomegusta111 • 14h • Partassipant [1] NTA Two toxic birds, one stone. Reply 3 ...
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  • 20
    Text - mfruitfly • 15h • Partassipant [1] NTA. You have space for two more people at your wedding. You had a fight with her sister, your Mom needs to just stay out of it. Instead, she is taking sides which makes it worse. Your sister sounds unpleasant, and that no one ever checks her behavior. I'd just go no contact with her for now, and low contact with your Mom. Make sure you have security or the venue knows not to let them in if they do show up. Reply 2 + ...
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  • 21
    Text - ZeeLadyMusketeer • 8h • Partassipant [2] NTA. Also, you have your answer why your relationship with your sister is like this. Based on this incident, it's clear your mother views any occasion where the attention is on you, even rightly on you, as an attack she needs to protect your sister from. Your sister reacts accordingly. You speak as if your sister is the problem, but she is only the symptom. Your mother is the root cause. Take your mothers threat to not be there as the gift it is. I
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  • 22
    Text - thelady1468 · 6h NTA. If she's shows up in a wedding dress anyway, do what the bride in a JustNoMIL (I think) post did: get your MOH/trusted friend to "accidentally" spill red wine on her before the ceremony so she can't be in any pics... Reply ...
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  • 23
    Text - Jo_0919 • 6h NTA, OP. You aren't even being slightly unreasonable. If your mom has offer to pay anything towards this wedding decline her offer. She and your sister are going to make this such a bad experience for you. And I can totally see your mom using financial manipulation to tolerate your sisters crap. Go dress shopping again with your MOH and MIL, put that dress back on, and see how you feel when the toxic energy is cut out. You May have to tell them both not to attend because clea
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  • 24
    Text - toyi94 • 16h NTA, your sister doesn't have a right to overshadow you on what is a special day you and your fiancé have been looking forward to. Hugs! between you all someday. I hope things get better Reply Vote ...
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  • 25
    Text - bluebell435 • 14h • Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA. Have a few good friends ready with red wine if she shows up with a white dress on. Reply Vote
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