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Entitled Children Expect To Inherit Dad's Savings, Dad Sets Kids Straight

This dad asked the folks in Reddit's AITA community whether or not he was in the wrong for giving his kids' a stiff reality check. Pretty much everyone agrees with dad's decision to set his children straight. It seems fair enough. You wouldn't want to see your kids waste away a meaningful chunk of their lives, not trying to chase the careers that could fulfill them, because they're operating under the assumption that they'll be getting a big payout from daddy's inheritance later on down the road. If anything, that's just kind of messed up. 

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Posted by mattstaff
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  • 1
    Text - 1 13 2 11 e7 3 9 13 AITA for telling my children that if they don't grow up and get real jobs, they aren't getting a penny from me when I die, and then giving them a reality check? Not the A-hole ThrowRA. I'm not dying TL/DR: My kids thought they'd get my savings when I die. I told them no, then lectured them. | (57M) have two kids, N(30M) and A(27F). N works part-time flipping burgers, but insists his real job is as a gaming streamer. A claims she's a 'professional' influencer, her livel
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  • 2
    Text - Over Christmas, we were talking about their mother (on zoom) when A brought up the subject of her will, wondering if she'd left anything to them. I confessed that she passed before ever writing one, and the money she did have was used up the year she passed. We were a dual-income family in a time when neither of us were making a lot. It was a hard time. Eventually, I joined a friend in the private sector and my fortune changed. I'm not 'rich', but l'll never be uncomfortable again. Well,
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  • 3
    Text - Me: What do you mean? N: Well, you have a lot of money, right? It'll go to us. Me: And who told you that? A: What do you mean? Me: I've made it very clear that I don't approve of the way you both live. You both chose not to get an education or real jobs. You have no way of supporting yourself. (I often buy them groceries). You refuse to help yourselves, so why would I enable your 'lifestyles' by leaving you my savings when I die? You want my money, then grow up and get real jobs, but the
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  • 4
    Text - Me: You both refuse to grow up. Flipping burgers is an honourable job, but it's not going to keep a roof over your head. What if you have kids? What if you get fired? And (A), what will you do if your boyfriend breaks up with you because all you do is sit on your ass all day and take photos of yourself? You want to do that, find a modelling agency. A real job. You both speak of chasing your dreams, but neither one of you are in any position to do that because neither of you wants to take
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  • 5
    Text - N ended the call after a prolonged silence. A called me an AH then did the same. I haven't heard from either since, and neither will take my calls. So, AITA here? I think I might be because I was unnecessarily harsh on Christmas. Edit: Some of the feedback coming at me is because I'm critical of their 'jobs'. To be clear, a job is something that you make money from. Neither earn any money as a streamer or 'influencer'. And I defend my opinion of flipping burgers. It's an honourable job, b
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  • 6
    Text - MiddlingMe · 7d S 4 Awards You are only 57. Jesus. You could potentially live for 30 to 40 more years. What was their plan? To live in poverty until their 60's or 70's? And what if you need expensive medical care later on or care services in your old age that wipes out your retirement money? Not only are they entitled as hell, but they have no idea how the world works or how to realistically plan for the future. NTA. Reply 6.7k ...
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  • 7
    Text - gay_flatulent • 7d 16 Awards Plot twist. Marry me. 56(f). kids grown and out da house. Available. NTA. It's troubling that their current savings plan is your demise. Reply 4.6k
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  • 8
    Text - cass_92SS• 7d 3 3 Awards NTA. And I like you. Because you didn't say something like "flipping burgers isn't a real job" but you did point out the reality that flipping burgers doesn't get the bills paid, especially for a family and especially part time. You also pointed out to your daughter that if she wants to make a job as an influencer, then work towards a more realistic job as a model. You're not knocking what they like in life, you're showing them that how they are going about it isn
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  • 9
    Text - terrible-advice- · 7d · Partassipant [4] 2e 3 Awards NTA- it's your money do as please. I have friends who stream and make a little money from it but it's clearly only a side hustle, getting big enough to support yourself on streaming or as influencer is incredibly unstable. What if you get banned from the platform, streamers/you tubers/influencer is extremely volatile market and an audience you built over years can disappear over night, at minimum it's smart to have a reliable skill to f
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  • 10
    Text - hannahsflora • 7d · Certified Proctologist [21] 3 8 Awards I'll brace for the downvotes, but honestly - NTA. It would be one thing if they were doing these things on the side and supplementing with another job that provided enough income for them to live, and another thing still if they were actually making money from their "influencing" and streaming. But it sounds like both of them are scraping by due to the charity of others, and don't have any kind of sustainable life-plan. This is ma
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  • 11
    Text - Caribe92 · 7d · Partassipant [1] NTA. It's your money. And I understand where you're coming from. People think that it's either they chase their dreams OR get a real job. Why can't you do both? It'll be harder work, but you'll have stability. The sad truth is that there are millions with the same dreams, and unfortunately the statistics proves that not everyone will be successful. Reply 410 ...
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  • 12
    Text - ismolpotato • 7d Nta. It's your money, you get to decide what you want to do with it. Kind of horrible how they are depending on your death to let them live comfortably. Though the "real job" comment is a bit questionable. Reply 1 901
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  • 13
    Text - the-mirrors-truth • 7d · Professor Emeritass [84] NTA They're all adults and they brought up the issue of money. You didn't just call them to tell them they're worthless, they wanted to know how they'll continue have the lifestyle they want with minimal work on their part and you let them what's what. Maybe you should have done it sooner but better late than never. # Q Reply 239 3 ...
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  • 14
    Text - ArgonianMofo • 7d • Partassipant [2] NTA, they needed reality checks badly. Your son is 30 and your daughter is almost 30 and they still go to you for basic necessities like groceries. They aren't even making incomes from their online hobbies. Lastly no one is even entitled to inheritance anyway. Its your money, you can use it for yourself till the day you die and that would be perfectly ok. Reply 1 184 ...
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  • 15
    Text - Armaryllislove · 7d I'm going with NTA. It sounds like you tried to talk to them about this stuff before, that you want them to follow their dreams but also be independent because you won't be around forever and the money you have, even if it's a decent amount, may not pull them through their whole lives. You're right that as adults, they have responsibilities, especially if they decide to have children and marry. There willI be bills to pay, insurances to pay for, food and clothes to buy
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  • 16
    Text - skywalkera420•7d NTA your kids sound like entitled brats BUT it's no coincidence both of your children are like this. Youre continuing to enable them, some people don't learn to "grow up" until they have to. If you've never held them responsible for their own lives, they may not do it on their own Reply 4 47 3 ...
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  • 17
    Text - SnooPeppers1641 • 7d · Partassipant [1] NTA Your daughter isn't dating the poor bastard that was the subject of another post working two jobs so is gf could make her dreams come true is she? At 30 and 27 each one needs to get serious on how they are going to support themselves for the years to come. I have no clue how much you have in savings but l'm going to guess it really isn't a fortune in real world terms. Beyond that, you are only 57. Baring any health issues you could live easily a
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  • 18
    Text - TerribleTribbles • 7d · Partassipant [2] NTA. You could have told them your plans without the lecture and your message might have gone over easier. Something along the lines of; "please don't plan on me being your financial savior as I plan on giving ALL my money to X" On the other hand, if they're as clueless as they sound you likely told them in the only way that they could hear. Reply 1 19 ...
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  • 19
    Text - Nikki3to • 7d · Asshole Aficionado [18] NTA you do not owe them an inheritance, hopefully you get to spend all your hard earned money before that time. Your kids are well enough into their adult lives that you should be concerned about how they will be able to take care of themselves in the future, and their own respective families. Reply ...
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  • 20
    Text - hecknono • 7d NTA I hate people who count their parents money. At University I had a friend who always talked about her rental property and I asked, "how do you have a rental property when you are a full time student and never had a job?" she said my parents own it and someday I will own it when they die. I said, but what if that is for their retirement, or they sell it or if they get laid off their jobs and need to sell the house or a million other things. She was very insulted. She hone
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  • 21
    Text - fridayisblackforme · 7d NTA. You actually seem way more supportive than I think you're getting credit for. You acknowledge the work they both do, but want them to reach for more. You know your daughter wants to be a model of sorts, and you encouraged her to find a modelling agency so she can become a professional. You know that your son is in food service, you honour that, but you also know he can't ever move up if he stays part time. You never asked them to give up on their dreams, but t
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  • 22
    Text - ApprehensivePop8838 · 7d NTA, it's your money. Yes, they're allowed to feel hurt but in the end, that doesn't mean you should change your will. Reply 4 2 } •..
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  • 23
    Text - IGotBigHands • 7d NTA You worked hard for your money and can spend and give it to anyone you please. If they aren't stepping up to your standards than you have every right not to leave them anything. I would do the same if I was in a similar situation. Reply ...
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  • 24
    Text - itsthebeardedone · 7d NTA, I'd give it all away based solely on their entitled attitudes. At least you're giving them a chance. Q Reply
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  • 25
    Text - apirateonabicycle · 7d NTA. You're super young for this convo anyway, but they are waaay too old to not understand how real bills get paid. I wasn't this delusional at 19, much less 30z Reply 1 2 + Q ...
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  • 26
    Text - MsTankToYou • 7d NTA but man I would have just said "I intend to live another 30-40 years, retire in 10 and die penniless" This is straight what my dad told me when I was in my early twenties and I definitely took him at his word. QReply 1 2 3 ...
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  • 27
    Text - TheMotorcycleMan • 7d NTA. When you get old, and retire, spend every penny you have earned. You earned that money, you should enjoy it. If your kids can't get along without it, that's on them. Reply 1 2 ...
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  • 28
    Text - jmccorky · 7d NTA. From the time I was a child I was taught that I would have to work hard to support myself, and I taught my daughter that same lesson. I would stop enabling their behavior immediately and completely cut them off financially other than holiday gifts. Personally. I'd also consider paying for their schooling if they get serious about pursuing a degree in order to better support themselves. Also, you are only 57! If you live in the US, you can have several million dollars an
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