Overworked employee refuses to keep spending Saturdays doing unpaid fake “volunteer” projects that secretly aim at benefiting her boss’s friends and family, causing tension at work: 'These Saturdays are “optional” but everyone knows they really aren't'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Dec 4, 2025 9:00 AM EST

When your boss classifies an event as 'optional,' we all know what that really means…if you don't attend, it will most probably be held against you for your whole career…but again, it's completely up to you…Most of our coworkers, including us, would likely attend to obtain that 'reliable' and 'cooperative' reputation. Undoubtedly hoping our boss remembers seeing our faces at the beach clean-up, or sandwich packing event when considering our raises!

But what if every single one of those unpaid 'volunteering' events occurs on a Saturday…and if instead of genuine charities, all the "team building projects" involve tasks that specifically benefit your boss's immediate circle of family and friends? Well, now we understand how this version of 'giving back' might not appeal to every employee! Especially this employee. There are only so many times she can clean her boss's friend's cafe, or paint her boss's sister's daycare, without eventually feeling like she's completely being taken advantage of by her boss! We're just not quite sure her other coworkers are ready to stand their ground and fight for their weekends! 

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  • This employee is well aware that not attending these fake ‘volunteering’ events will put her at a disadvantage in the workplace when it comes to project allocations and public praise. But she would rather receive one less project than spend her only time off cleaning up after her boss's friends and family. In fact, we're not even sure it's legal, but what we do know is that she will no longer be attending any of these events. 

  • Group volunteering
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for refusing to spend my weekends doing unpaid “team building” for my boss

    1 29F work in a small office where my boss loves to act like we are one big family. Once a month she organizes a "volunteer day" on a Saturday.
    via sornel_05
  • Officially it is to "give back to the community". In practice it is always something that helps her friends or relatives. Painting her sisters daycare, cleaning her friends new cafe before
    via sornel_05
  • opening, stuffing envelopes for her husbands side business. Stuff like that. When I was hired, I was told weekends were free unless there was a real
    via sornel_05
  • emergency. These Saturdays are "optional" but everyone knows they really arent. If you go, you get praised in meetings, get better projects, she posts your photo on the company
    via sornel_05
  • LinkedIn calling you "rockstar". If you dont go, she gets very cold with you for a while. I went for the first six months because I was new and scared
    via sornel_05
  • to say no. I lost alot of my only free time since I am also studying in the evenings. Last week she sent another email about "volunteering" at her brothers
    via sornel_05
  • farm, helping repair fences and clean barns. My body just hurt reading it. I replied that I would not attend anymore unpaid weekend work and
    via sornel_05
  • that I already do actual volunteering at an animal shelter on my own time. She called me into her office and said I was being selfish and "not a team player" and that other people manage
    via sornel_05
  • to show up without complaining. Now some coworkers say I made things awkward and that it is easier to just go along. I feel guilty but also really tired. AITJ for finally saying no to these fake volunteer days?
    via sornel_05
  • Saturday on the flip calendar
    via kitti-kahotong

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • eeyorethechaotic NTJ obviously. I'd look for another job whilst continuing to refuse to be used.
    via eeyorethechaotic
  • Aiyokusama NTJ. Is there a higher up or HR? Because this isn't legal. She's creating a toxic work enviroment. Make sure you document all retaliation actions taken against you by her and any coworkers.
    via Aiyokusama
  • Turbulent_Object_201 NTJ, look for another job, however, revenge is a necessity. I am sure u have a group chat. Before the weekend where ur boss post his "events". Make sure to post a legit charity calling for helps from everyone, list the amount of people it would help, make it dramatic, steal all his "workers" and make sure to post all the "after" photo in the group as well with thanks.
    via Turbulent_Object_201
  • Interesting-Alarm211 Start interviewing. Document everything. Print all emails. Draw correlation to her requests and personal relationships File a complaint at the state labor board
    via Interesting-Alarm211
  • MorganFreemanCoPilot NTJ. Your co-workers are jealous that you had the bravery to stand up for yourself that they don't have themselves.
    via MorganFreemanCoPilot
  • It'd be a shame for someone to get injured or hurt themselves during one of these outings since they're for her friends and relatives. Along with other employment laws, I wonder if this is an OSHA violation of sorts?
    via MorganFreemanCoPilot
  • SugarBytess NTJ at all. That ain't team building, that's exploitation under the disguise of 'volunteering'. Seems like your boss has got everyone under her thumb. Stick to your guns and maybe look around for another gig where your free time is actually respected. No one wants to work 24/7. Nailed it by calling her out. No regrets.
    via SugarBytess
  • Tasty_Sample_5232 You've been working there for a while, so maybe you should remember what happens to those who refuse free weekend work... maybe it's time to look for something new,
    via Tasty_Sample_5232
  • Female boss crossing her arms in the office
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • if your boss doesn't forgive those who want to work weekends because they're losing free labor, and it's not profitable for her. Everyone keeps coming, and you're stubborn. I think she'll try to break you or say goodbye.
    via Tasty_Sample_5232
  • Tenzipper Tell your coworkers that if the "volunteer" work actually helped a non-profit, charity, or other worthy cause, you'd be fine with it, but you're not helping the boss' friends and family anymore. Suggest they think long and hard about who benefits from their unpaid labor. NTJ.
    via Tenzipper
  • Exotic-Rooster4427 I would go to HR and say that you find the team building that helps her friends and family to do ridiculous and that if it really is mandatory disguised as voluntary that a committee is formed where everyone be allowed to submit and implement a plan to help the wider community outside of x's friends and family.
    via Exotic-Rooster4427
  • Local_Gazelle538 This is the perfect thing to report to HR and her manager. Make sure to mention her retaliation and the hostile work environment she creates if you don't attend, question if it's legal and wonder if the company would be liable if someone got injured, since it's a mandatory team activity. And definitely list all the companies and what her relationship was to each!
    via Local_Gazelle538
  • Decent_Bandicoot 122 Contact the labor board. She is making you work and not paying for it. The total disrespect she gives her staff is deplorable. You are employees, not servants.NTJ
    via Decent_Bandicoot
  • NoFox2326 If this is about the company giving back to the community, you need to ask why the company doesn't give back on company time.
    via NoFox2326

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manditory relatives boss work weekends teamwork volunteering
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