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Mom Wants To Know If She's Wrong To Blame Six-Year-Old Daughter For Babysitter Quitting

The world can be a scary and daunting place for kids. Learning to navigate their way through it as they develop emotions, opinions and feelings can be challenging. As any parent can attest, kids choose to throw tantrums out of nowhere, always at the worst times. Even though it's because they're feeling scared, insecure, or out of control, it doesn't make them any easier to deal with. So what do you do when your child misbehaves? Do you comfort them, or do you criticize them for acting up and use it as a teaching opportunity to demonstrate that actions have consequences? One mother faced a difficult challenge after her six-year-old's bratty behavior caused their babysitter to quit. She posted in Reddit's Am I The A-hole, asking if she was wrong for telling her daughter that her repeated bad behavior was the reason for their babysitter quitting...

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  • 1
    Font - Posted by u/Relative_Ad654 2 days ago 11 10 S 12 8 AITA for telling my daughter it's her fault that her babysitter quit? Not the A-hole I have 3 kids: 6, 4 and nearly a year old. When I was pregnant with my youngest, I hired a sitter to pick the other two up from school and watch them.
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    It turns out, the child's friend had started telling their own babysitter that "she was the boss of her", and had taught it to the OP's daughter, who then used it on her babysitter. Her repeated tantrums caused the babysitter to quit, and understandably, the OP was pissed.


  • 2
    Font - We really liked her and appreciated her. My eldest loved her babysitter but she began to develop a huge attitude. I know one of her friends has a nanny who she's basically allowed to boss around with little consequence. We told my daughter that her sitter is in charge and she's to respect her, not demand things of her. A few months ago, the sitter asked my daughter to grab the baby's diaper bag and my daughter sassed back saying "You can't tell me what to do, I'm the boss of you!" Sitter
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    She felt it a good teaching opportunity to let her daughter know that it was her fault the babysitter had left. Her post bought in mixed reviews. Some people expressed their shock and disgust at the way this mother handled the situation, claiming that a child that young couldn't possibly understand what was going on. Others weren't so forgiving and agreed that the child's behavior was unacceptable. 


  • 3
    Font - immediately addressed it, in front of the sitter. I told my daughter that was not acceptable, she's not the boss of anyone and I took away her TV privilege for a week. It happened again just a month later and I had a much sterner talk with her, took away more privileges. Both times I made her verbally apologize and write a
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  • 4
    Organism - note of apology to her sitter. The sitter accepted it but I could tell she was losing patience. I didn't blame her and ended up giving her a raise out of guilt. I also stopped arranging playdates for her and the friend who treated her nanny terribly (they don't go to the same school, so they don't see each other at all anymore).
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  • 5
    Font - I'll add I did try talking with my daughter calmly and asking why she felt this was okay. She'd say "We pay her, I'm her boss". And I said no, that's not true. I said she is hired to take care of her and deserved respect. My daughter would always seem to understand.
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  • 6
    Font - Well, things came to a head a few weeks ago. My daughter was acting up, sitter had tried several de-escalation tactics but finally told her to go have quiet time in her room. My daughter screamed in her face "I'm the boss of you! I'll get you fired!" The sitter calmly picked up the phone and called me (we have cameras in our house-which she knew about) and told me to come home,
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  • 7
    Font - immediately. Upon arrival, she quit. Nothing I said or did could make her stay, and I understood. I was furious with my daughter and let her have it. She had several things taken away from her and she didn't do anything remotely fun until recently.
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  • 8
    Human body - This whole thing has left us in a bind. Luckily, the school that my younger two go to is open later, so I can pick them up when I get off work. I've been scrambling to find a new sitter but in the meantime, I got my daughter into an afterschool program.
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  • 9
    Font - Because there's no more sitter, there's no one to take her to her swim class. She's been complaining that she can't do it anymore and I told her that it's her own fault. She is why her sitter quit and until I can find someone new, she won't get to do the fun activities that her sitter took her to.
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  • 10
    Smile - My husband agrees that there's nothing we can do, but thinks I was far too harsh with our daughter, saying she's only 6. AITA?
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  • 11
    Font - Magpie2632 Partassipant [1] 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago NTA - Her actions impacted someone enough to make them quit a job they were being paid to do. She has soiled her reputation as word spreads fast within the babysitter community if a child treats their caregiver like that. I imagine this wasn't three isolated events but more like it was happening way more frequently but those three times were when the babysitter was at her last straw.
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  • 12
    Font - gfi_hf 2 days ago YTA. 6 years old. Your daughter just started retaining memories like, two years ago. Her brain is not developed enough to understand the concept of money, what it entails to generate it, duties of jobs, getting people fired. And then you talked down on her about it, probably sat her down and made her look you in the eye as you lectured her on her etiquette. And I wouldn't be surprised if she now carried a certain grief and resentment. These things she's talking about, th
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    Via u/gfi_hf

  • 13
    Font - dianeirl 2 days ago YTA - she did something "naughty" but totally normal for a 6yo and you took away her TV privileges for an entire week?! That's so out of proportion. She's 6. A time out and maybe no TV for ONE day would have been fine. Then a month later she acted out...that is a long time between behaviors. I highly doubt your child was capable of connecting the two incidents with them being that far apart. You can teach your child consequences without assigning blame like that. You w
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