21 Hilarious Dad Tweets for Wholesome Fathers Flexing Their Funny Bone (July 25, 2025)

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  • 01
    Not Today Eric ❤ @NotTodayEric Sorry I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.
  • 02
    frye ❤ @____frye as a newborn baby, you have one job: drink milk. that is your Survival Objective. so why do they keep barfing it up for no reason
  • 03
    the_whimsical__muse❤ *Walks into the kitchen for a glass of water* *Returns with a bowl of ice cream*
  • 04
    messagewithabottle ❤ Number of rings on a shower curtain: 12 Number of rings on a shower curtain when you have to hang one up: 654
  • 05
    milifeasdad My 3yo was racing with his sister and ran head first into a wall, literally bounced off of it and kept running. Folks, I pull my hamstring if I don't warm up before I sneeze.
  • 06
    aparnarchi Welcome to parenting. A kid will be along shortly to complain that the cereal you bought "crunches too loud"
  • 07
    dylaniswriting Every time a teenager "discovers" something that was cool in the '90s, I have to resist the urge to shout, "Do NOT cite the Deep Magic to me, witch, I was there when it was written."
  • 08
    mediumsizemeech ❤ "You have to separate the ART from the ARTIST!” — me trying to convince my friends not to leave the restaurant in Paris after finding out a rat cooked our food
  • 09
    heated seats ❤ Me before kids: I love the summer because the sun doesn't set until 9 pm! After kids: Is there a planet where the sun sets at 6 pm all year round because I'll move there tonight.
  • 10
    itskevinthedad My preschooler said "you make me angry with all your talking" and she's probably not the first person to have felt that way about me
  • 11
    _nate.jpg "Still punk as f "I whisper as I spread top quality mulch around my hydrangeas.
  • 12
    whiskey van @DeadSelves Nephew pretended he'd never heard of an ice cream sandwich so we'd buy him one to let him "try something new"
  • 13
    gavinflight Me: "I'm making omelettes!" *Flip* Also me: "I'm making scrambled eggs."
  • 14
    kingron41 ❤ We literally used to write a rough draft and final draft essay BY HAND
  • 15
    papalawn Eye Dr.: "These results aren't great." Me: "Can I see them?" Eye Dr.: "Probably not." And then we laughed and laughed.
  • 16
    heated seats ❤ The phrase "terrible two's" was invented by a 3 year old.
  • 17
    charlie @chunkbardey taking your keys on a trip feels so silly it's like hmm yeah lemme bring these just in case where I'm going they have My Door
  • 18
    meghan @deloisivete extreme heat warning: stay inside me, who is always very inside anyway: you got it
  • 19
    THE DAD thedad Home Depot should offer a "Dad Service" where after your third trip to the store for a project, they just send a guy home with you to do it themselves (without telling your spouse)
  • 20
    dustinnickerson ❤ Parenting is fun if you want someone to hate you for suggesting they bring a coat
  • 21
    tymbremg Told my four year old he's "the apple of my eye" and he nodded and said "I sure do like apples"

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