Parrots Being Jerks With No Sense Of Self-Preservation (Tumblr Posts)

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2021 6:00 PM EST

Okay, so be real, is your parrot a jerk too? Because all we've heard from parrot owners is that they are annoying dumb jerks with no sense of self-preservation who get spooked by stupid things and constantly try to do the most dangerous things that they can... while also being very loveable, and we should totally get one. 

Tumblr, apparently, also agrees that parrots are dummy jerks with so sense of self-preservation. And you know... maybe reading through these was supposed to discourage us from getting a bird, but all it did was encourage us to get one just to have these hilariously terrifying moments of excitement in our lives. 

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  • 01
    Font - beeftea78-deactivated20200113 my parrot is a fucking dumbass with no sense of self-preservation. proof? he got spooked by a pear - by all accounts a green and tasty friend - and flew into a wall to escape, but when greeted with a sink full of soapy boiling water - by all accounts a harmful, bird-killing abyss - he launched himself into it at top speed and cried when I locked him in baby jail to stop him from killing himself.
    via allandnot
  • 02
    Rectangle - allandnot Follow Please tell your parrot I still love him. penfairy he just threw his seeds all over the carpet and laughed about it so I will not
    via allandnot

    Yes, regardless, tell him that we love him. Because while yes, he seems to be an annoying jerk who scares the heck out of you sometimes, he is also providing endless entertainment not just to you but to the rest of the internet as well. So, yes, we love him, and he needs to know that right now. 

  • 03
    Human body - masterfoxpin Follow And I thought my parrot was the only one dumbass with two brain cells. Always trying to bite my 99 pounds dog and laughing for no reason at 3 a.m.
    via masterfoxpin

    Seriously though, we've seen so many stories of parrots being jerks that now we really want one. I can only imagine the stories that I would have to tell of the way that he and my cat would get along. It would be amazing, like a cartoon. They will be best buds while also being total jerks to each other. 

  • 04
    Rectangle - burnt-coffee Follow When I was a kid my parrot flew into a pot of (cold) oil and my mum had to fish him out and comb the oil out of his feathers, so I am firmly of the belief that most parrots have no self preservation instincts.
    via burnt-coffee
  • 05
    Rectangle - fumbledeegrumble Follow parrots are dicks i love... other people's parrots captainrinsuu Follow Throwing their seeds everywhere is just how they show their love OP. Well that and pooping on your favourite top.
    via fumbledeegrumble, captainrinsuu
  • 06
    Sky - temetonkachi Follow my fucking birds throw fits and throw ALL OF THEIR FOOD AND WATER OUT because they want misket
    via temetonkachi
  • 07
    Font - freehugsbear Follow My dumbass bird flies up on top of things (like stove hoods and cabinets) when he gets spooked and then gets spooked and stressed that he's Up There and It's Dark and won't come down. Also have to keep a pinchy clip on the door to his food dish cuz he one day randomly started tipping it up far enough to deliberately throw not just the food on the floor but the dish itself. Then he'd shout about not having any food. Turd.
    via freehugsbear
  • 08
    Font - kestrelsparverius Follow I had a parrot who got upset when I wasn't around or wasn't paying attention to him. I was feeding and watering my finches, and he started screaming. I told him to wait, so instead of waiting, he tipped over his water dish. It made a big clang, and he started laughing. I scolded him. "Sunny!" And he started blowing kisses at me. That jerk was one ofvthr funniest birds l've ever owned. Birds are like small, flying cats.
    via kestrelsparverius
  • 09
    Font - danatwila Follow My cockatiel like to sit behind me a scream directly in my ear. Then at some point in the day she will try to attack my toes. I still love her.
    via danatwila
  • 10
    Sky - nmdesertrose Follow As the owner of a parrot, I can confirm this is basically what happens everyday.
    via nmdesertrose
  • 11
    Font - birdaholics-anonymous Follow There's this umbrella cockatoo at the sanctuary, his name is Sputnik. We have these large nets for the birds to play and climb on, and he was sitting up at the top of it, chewing away at the bit of rope holding the structure to the ceiling. The very important rope keeping him aloft. Needless to say he soon found himself on the floor and clueless to how that could have possibly happened. He's a smart boy, but also, he is a dumb boy.
    via birdaholics-anonymous
  • 12
    Font - This also reminds me of another time at the sanctuary when I was busy in the cockatiel room. The tiel room is right next to the "kitchen" where some of the birds hang out. I hear a pretty loud crash, which isn't usual at all. I poke my head out of the room to make sure nothing bad had happened. I thought maybe one of the cockatoos tossed the clean dishes on the floor again. Nothing was on the floor and everyone looked very calm. I almost go back in the tiel room, but I decided to just dou
    via birdaholics-anonymous
  • 13
    Mammal - radicalhobbits Follow I'm always tellin people how much i want a bird and then EVERYONE is like “no birds are trash they suck they're loud they're annoying ah blah blah" HELLO I AM LOUD AND ANNOYING please i just want a flying dinosaur as a pet
    via radicalhobbits
  • 14
    Mammal - burningbridgesthatdontexist Follow My parrot insisted on jumping into the washing machine while it was filling with water I share your pain
    via burningbridgesthatdontexist
  • 15
    Human body - itzaimster Follow Mine is terrified of flies but will actively fight me into letting it onto the stove WHILE it is turned on.
    via itzaimster
  • 16
    Product - allandnot Follow At least he doesn't scream “HELP" as loud as possible when no ones home because your grandfather watched too much Western and crime movies.
    via allandnot

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Tags

hilarious parrots tumblr shenanigans funny tumblr posts lol jerk ridiculous silly funny weird parrot funny tumblr
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