Tumblr Thread: A Vulcan Gets a Cat

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Oct 30, 2021 7:00 PM EDT

Seeing our own actions through the eyes of a more coldly logical being lets us poke fun at the absurdity of our own lives. Plus it doesn't hurt that Vulcans are a fun concept to play around with anyway, as evidenced by this tumblr thread of a human on a Vulcan ship. Pet ownership is weird, and our relationship with cats in particular is fraught with unique and strange meaning. Especially when you get into specifics like this tumblr thread on how cats are just eloquent enough to be melodramatic.

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  • 01
    Green - disease-danger-darkness-silence I need more people to write more bits of this. gussiegazelle The Vulcans going .Fascinating" is hilarious for some reason. azzandra It's hilarious because It's the closest they can get to saying what the t ". Source azzandra 58,779 notos
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  • 02
    Rectangle - azzandra Fic idea I was struck with the other day and keep thinking about: a Vulcan adopts a cat. e azzandra Still thinking about this, even though I'm not writing the flc! This Vulcan, I'm calling her T'Pen, goes to a shelter and gets a cat, and the shelter employees are like, a bit weirded out? But obviously they're going to give her a cat, I mean, she's a Vulcan, she's Super Responsible, she takes all the pamphlets and listens attentively to all the advice the shelter employees gi
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  • 03
    Font - Then TPen asks the shelter folks what she should name the cat and runs Into That Thing Humans Do Where They Confound a Vulcan With Their Weird Ways Shelter Employee 1: oh, you can name a cat anything! That's what's great! People names, common nouns, whole phrases. Shelter Employee 2: yeah, nothing sounds weird on a cat. Everything from Chad to Cupboard is fair game. SE 1: yeah, I mean, you can't call a dog Chad, that would be weird SE 2: I wouldn't in' trust anyone who named their dog Cha
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  • 04
    Mammal - azzandra Later, in the Interest of furthering her anthropological study of Earth, TPen has a houseparty and she invites her coworkers, many of whom are human, but others which are allens, and are fascinated by T'Pen's cat Vulcan Co-worker: TPen, what have you named this small Earth feline? TPen: I have named him Marmalade. Vucan co-worker: Is that not the name of a type of Terran fruit preserve? I do not understand the logic behind this choice.
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  • 05
    Font - TPen: the logic is self-evident to a human. Human Co-worker: T'Pen, omg, you have a cat! What's his name? TPen: thank you for your inquiry. His name is Marmalade Human Co-worker: ooohl yeah, that makes sense, because he's orange and sweet! Imao, great name Vulcan Co-worker: ... Vulcan Co-worker: .fascinating
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  • 06
    Font - bartfargo Human: So, how's Marmalade? TPen: He has the peculiar habit of walking on my workstation. Human: Aggravating, Isn't it? T'Pen: We Vulcans do not feel human emotions. However, I would prefer it if Marmalade stayed off my workstation, particularly when l am working. Human: Get a box. TPen: Murdering Marmalade seems an overreaction. Human: No, you need a box with interior dimensions approximately the same as Marmalade's body, and set it on the floor next to your workstation. Marmal
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  • 07
    Rectangle - bartfargo Vulcan Commander: TPen, you are posting videos of your cat. Explain. T'pen: My colleagues are amused and entertained by Marmalade's interactions with his environment. I am amused and entertained by their reactions as reflected in the comments, Vulcan Commander (reading): "U haz done me a startle"? TPen: Some of them like to verbalize what they beleve are Marmalade's thought processes. He is a cat, so they imagine that he does not grasp human spelling and grammar. Vulcan Com
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thread tumblr lol cat owners Star Trek goofy Cats funny funny tumblr
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