Husband Moves In Roommate Without Telling Wife First, Gets Roasted Online

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    Font - r/AmltheAsshole + Join u/aitaroommatesitu • 1d 1 1 91 2 1 AITA for moving in a roommate without my wife being involved? Asshole
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    Font - My wife and I have an apartment together. Before this year, we could have maintained it alone, but now with her being out of work for almost a full year, we need a roommate. We had one, but she moved out in November and we've been scraping our savings since. We desperately needed a new roommate.
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    Organism - They would have their own bathroom and it is plenty of space, so we decided to start a search for a roommate. My wife insisted that she's only okay with a female roommate because she doesn't want to live with strange men, and I understood her concerns.
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    Font - Despite saying women only in our posts about it, almost exclusively men applied. We complained about it to some of our friends, and they think we're in the wrong. They said we were being sexist because we weren't willing to consider a male roommate, especially when there's already both a man and a woman living in the house, and that even if we "got what we wanted", we'd be asking another woman to live "with a strange man" so it wouldn't be different.
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    Organism - I started to consider if we were in the wrong and just old fashioned for only wanting a specific gender of roommate. She refused, but time was ticking. On a practical side, we really needed to get someone in there soon, so I picked someone, ran a background check, and moved him in while my wife was visiting her sister for a weekend.
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    Organism - I shouldn't have just ignored her, but it was crunch time, he passed the background check, and he's perfectly nice. When she came home...she was not willing to just talk about it or to either of us. She's furious at me, and for the past week she's only spoken to scream at me and threaten to evict our new roommate (after all of one week). I never want problems with my wife, but she needs to acknowledge that we were out of options. AITA? 2.0k 903 ↑, Share
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    The response was pretty unanimous. He was indeed the A-hole.

    Font - VinnyCapistrano · 1d Certified Proctologist [21] YTA. You moved a complete stranger into your wife's home against her wishes, and you did so when she was away and unable to object. Were you guys really honestly like moments away from being evicted, and it couldn't be delayed another month or two? On the bright side, with your wife not working, you won't take a financial hit when she moves out and leaves you with your new roommate. G Reply 4 1.5k
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    Font - brewerybitch · 1d Asshole Aficionado [10] YTA. This was such an asshole move I literally can't see any way your relationship can recover. 4 1.8k 6 Reply
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    Font - mm172 · 1d Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [342] 2 e O 7 Awards YTA. Consider that every single one of these dudes who steamrolled past your "female applicants only, please" request is already demonstrating that they're not good at being told "no." You really think that's helpful in persuading your wife that everything will work out just fine with this guy? Or, for that matter, a quality you want in a roommate? Also, you say you're out of options like ditching this apartment you can't afford
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    Font - Lively_Sally · 1d Asshole Aficionado [15] I hope you rreeaallIIlly like that guy ΥΤΑ G Reply 4 637 3
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    Font - mnbvcxz1052 • 1d Asshole Enthusiast [5] 2 9 6 Awards ΥΤΑ. This was a huge violation of boundaries. I'm willing to guess there are a myriad of reasons your wife didn't want to live with another man in the house that had nothing to do with sexism. I wouldn't be surprised if your wife found another place to live, where she felt more protected and in more control of her own living environment. I mean honestly, even if you had moved in any gender of person, it would still be really unsettling
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    Organism - MostestSoberTabuu • 1d Asshole Enthusiast [8] ΥΤΑ. You moved someone into you and your wifes home without notifying her and even keeping it secret from her. That is tip top ahole behavior. She said she was uncomfortable with it and you did it anyways while keeping it secret. ΥΤΑ. G Reply 4 512 3
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    Font - efgrigby · 1d Partassipant [2] YTA. Your wife gave you one condition, and you couldn't hold to that? Women feel unsafe around strange men for a reason. Any woman who rented from you would have rented with eyes wide open, she would know and agreed that she was living with a strange man. Your wife had no choice, in fact, her choice was negated by you. I hope your marriage can recover from this. You violated her trust in you. You deliberately put her in a situation where she feels unsafe. Yo
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    Font - PresentationFew2014 · 1d Partassipant [2] YTA. And your friends were wrong, it is different. Someone who moves into a living situation with two other people is aware that they are moving in with strangers and they accept it. They have the choice to not move in with a strange man if they are not comfortable. They are not being forced into anything. Your wife specifically said she wasn't comfortable with an unknown male roommate. Yet you're forcing her to live with one, she doesn't have a c
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    Font - mibunoookami • 1d Sultan of Sphincter [616] YTA - as in this would be reason for divorce if it were me... G Reply 4 233 3

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