Overbearing Parents Lose It After Adult Daughter Decides To Move In With Fiancé

Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/Terrible-Respect-811 · 17h 2 AITA for moving out of my parents house??
  • 02
    Font - So l'm (21F) buying my first home with my fiancé (22M) later this month. My parents are not happy at ALL. They absolutely hate the idea of it. They don't want me to move out. They claim I agreed to live with them until I graduated nursing school next year, when i never agreed to anything. We have also been actively looking since November of 2020.
  • 03
    Font - They also claim we did it behind their back. They were on vacation when we went to the open house. I texted my mom and told her we were going to look at it. We fell in love with it. We wanted my parents to see it before we put an offer in, so we arranged to come back a week later for them to see it. We went to the open house on a Saturday and we were going back the following Sunday. Our realtor called me on Thursday and said there are other offers put in and we should put one in before Su
  • 04
    Font - I get over that encounter. Then about 3 weeks ago my dad came home drunk. He started freaking out on me. He walked in the door and it was instant yelling. He said "i know what bank you're going through and I'll make sure the loan doesn't go through", he degraded my fiancé and I and was talking very horribly on our home. He said my fiancé's electrical work is shitty, said our home isn't worth $80,000, said we couldn't afford it, and was just completely nasty about it. I didn't talk to my d
  • 05
    Font - But they are just not happy at all for us. We are so excited to finally have our own home. We are so excited to finally started our own life together. We have been together for 4 years now and have a dog together. We just want them to be happy and supportive but it's not happening... so, AITA for moving out?
  • 06
    Hair - EDIT: hi everybody! It's been a little crazy this evening with our dog at the vets. So to answer some questions I suppose:
  • 07
    Font - -I do not pay for like anything at my house. My parents are very well off and I would consider them upper-middle class. They have bought a lot of the thingsI own, but about 2 years ago I started buying my own stuff so they couldn't hold it against me. I pay for my cell phone, but it's on my fiancé's plan anyway. I've been on his plan since 3 years ago. I don't have a car payment since i did buy it out right last year
  • 08
    Font - -also, our home isn't $80,000. It's $125,000, but my parents think it's not even worth $80,000. I don't understand where they get that from when it's fairly updated (new carpets, paint, etc). The kitchen is small and semi outdated, but we're not worried about it. All we eat is ramen noodles so we don't care
  • 09
    Font - -in case my other comment got lost, this behavior isn't uncommon. They are very controlling. My mom said to me that I couldn't get any more tattoos/piercings until I move out. Anything that I do that they don't like, they will tell and give me the silent treatment, it has happened before. My dad has gotten physical with me, which I then got physical back because I am not afraid and will always stand my ground. He has gotten physical with my sister (23F) as well and I have stepped in. They
  • 10
    Font - EDIT 2: wow, thank you all so much for your support. I'm in tears right now. This is the most support we've gotten from anybody, and you're all strangers
  • 11
    Font - To add on, we have already agreed that we don't want their help moving and that they are not welcome in our home unless their behavior changes. We don't want anybody there who has not been supportive of us. This is one of the most exciting times for us, we want to be happy and free of any negativity! 4 1k 174 Share
  • 12
    Font - baobab77 • 17h Partassipant [2] NTA. But stop updating them. They want to continue to control you and you're providing the information they'll use to stop you. Info diet ASAP. I bet when you get space from this, you'll realize other things they've done to coerce you to make decisions aligned with what they want for you. Make sure that they are off all of your bank accounts and l'd start making sure your mail is strictly online. If you're on their car insurance, phone plan, etc., start sho
  • 13
    Font - SleuthingSloth009 · 17h Certified Proctologist [22] NTA After turning 18 you can move out whenever you like for whatever reason. G Reply 4 69 ...
  • 14
    Font - mountaingoat05 · 17h Pooperintendant [54] NTA Your parents sound really toxic and I think you getting some distance will be good for you. You are an adult. You don't need their approval for anything. Frankly, I think you'll be much better off without some of their toxic patterns. G Reply 1 43 3 ...
  • 15
    Rectangle - Portie_lover · 17h Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] NTA - in fact, this highlights why it's wise to do so. This is manipulative and toxic. G Reply 1 30 3 ...
  • 16
    Font - CommandLow2673 · 17h NTA, You're an adult, you gotta leave some time. Perhaps they are worried about financial implications? But still dick move on their part, especially your dad. Congrats on the new home BTW! G Reply 1 31 3 + ...
  • 17
    Font - ParsimoniousSalad • 17h Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Good grief, get out asap (can you stay with your fiance now?). They are mean drunks who are reacting badly to the loss of their little girl at home (someone they can control, someone to take the focus off each other, who knows). Stop trying to include them in your moving your life forward. When they grow up, maybe they'll come to you and apologize for their initial attitude. NTA 6 Reply 4 25 3 ...

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article