Man Refuses To Take Off Work To Watch His Son, Argues It's His Wife's Job

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Mayarey
Jul 17, 2021 9:00 AM EDT

Every couple with children lands on some kind of system to share the labor. Sometimes people switch or days, or months, or they agree to have one person take on the housework while the other focuses on supporting the family financially. There is no perfect recipe for a happy family or marriage, but the important thing is that everyone feels valued and not like they're being taken for granted. There's not a single thing wrong with taking on the role of a stay-at-home mom, but it is wrong to be pushed into that position and then resented by your partner for 'having it easier,' as if managing a household is not a 24/7 occupation.

Like we said, find the balance that works for you, but make sure all parties understand why it's 'balanced.'



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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/tempaccoutnt · 8h 3 3 2 6. 1 AITA for telling my wife I wont/can't watch our son?
    via u/tempaccoutnt

    It was u/tempaccoutnt who took to the 'Am I The A-Hole' community on Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong for telling his wife that he won't or can't watch their son. 'Won''t is a whole lot different than 'can't.'

  • 02
    Font - I have a good job, I make good money and work hard enough to earn it. To the point that about 4 years ago after our son was born when my wife decided not to go back to work I became the only source of income.
    via u/tempaccoutnt

    Before diving into the incident, OP provides a little much-needed backstory. A bit about his marriage and career, and how proud he is of making 'good money' and being able to support his family. Ok, and?

  • 03
    Font - This worked out well and everyone was happy until COVID hit. Once the pandemic started causing shut downs my role was transitioned from in an office downtown to working from home. I was a big fan of this. I work 5am to 7pm Mon to Sat typically so not having to commute meant that now I got to be home to put my son to bed and read to him at night and have more time to spend with my wife in the evenings. The only problem is that my wife has struggled with the idea that the location of my job
    via u/tempaccoutnt
  • 04
    Font - Some of our mutual friends are coming into town this weekend and we had made plans to spend time with them. However, on Monday my wife informs me that the couple is actually getting in Friday and she and her friend are going to get lunch and go shopping. She tells me that I will need to watch our son. I respond by saying again that I can't, I have work and Monday to Friday is not enough heads up for me to take a day off. She gets angry at me saying she watches our son everyday while I jus
    via u/tempaccoutnt
  • 05
    Rectangle - I would love to spend the day with my son I just can't take the time off on such short notice. AITA? 1 9.1k 3 Q 2.2k 1, Share
    via u/tempaccoutnt
  • 06
    Rectangle - deckard_taverner • 8h 5 Awards NTA but working 14-hour days six days a week is simply not sustainable for ANY family or marriage. 6 Reply 4 16.7k 3 ...
    via u/deckard_taverner
  • 07
    Font - Lindsiria · 7h 7 Awards ESH. Your wife is an asshole for expecting you to take time off rather last minute. You are an asshole because you are putting all of the child rearing on her even if she is a SAHM. This boy is still your son. You working 14 hour days, 6 days a week is freaking ridiculous. Very few relationships can even last with work hours like this. If I am correct, you are a PM in a tech company. If this is the case, you are salary. You aren't getting paid more to work overtime
    via u/Lindsiria
  • 08
    Font - stillpacing · 6h 12 Awards Yta. Not specificially because of this moment, but this whole situation. You work from 5am to 7pm everyday? She is also working from 5am to 7pm taking care of the house and child without help. And hasnt had a Saturday without your child for 4 YEARS? In the moment, she could probably have handled things better, but that kind of work schedule is going to kill your marriage. This is a see the forest through the trees moment. She wants one day with a friend, and som
    via u/stillpacing
  • 09
    Font - Kufat • 7h Asshole Aficionado [10] I work 5am to 7pm Mon to Sat Why would you choose to live like that? I've been a programmer in industry for over a decade and I can count the number of 12 hour days l've worked on one hand. I think I can guess who you work for (Seattle's a hint) and I can tell you that most of the rest of the industry isn't nearly as bad. If you've got experience it's not hard to find a job making 150-250k with a 40-45 hour work week. G Reply 1 1.4k 3 ...
    via u/Kufat
  • 10
    Rectangle - RNwashington · 6h It's sounds like she barely has a husband with those hours. That might be the actual issue. G Reply 1 1.2k 3 ...
    via u/RNwashington
  • 11
    Font - cookiemixers • 7h Dude. Take a day off. G Reply 1 732 ...
    via u/cookiemixers
  • 12
    Font - MikkiTh • 6h Professor Emeritass [86] YTA Not a huge one, but a workaholic one for sure. It sounds like your wife has been providing all the childcare, most of the housework and never gets a day off sans kid. Your failure to create any work/life balance is impacting your marriage and at this rate she'll go back to work and be the single parent you've functionally made her.
    via u/MikkiTh
  • 13
    Font - FistWithHair· 4h 1 Award YTA - 5am to 7pm? Dude, what are you doing? Your wife is basically a single parent. I get you earn the money but you seem to be ignoring your parental responsibilities. Start pulling your weight at home! G Reply 1 457 3 ...
    via u/FistWithHair
  • 14
    Font - funtime_snack · 4h Asshole Aficionado [15] Honestly YTA. I have a demanding job where l'm on calls pretty much all day. I'm currently solely responsible for the care of my 3 children including an infant. It's frankly absurd to me that you can't figure out how to work and monitor a four year-old for a few hours. I have a four year-old and when Mommy is on a call, he knows to be quieter, and when Mommy is working on a project, well, sometimes Mommy gets interrupted. This reminds me vividly
    via u/funtime_snack

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dads aita marriage work Awkward parenting jerk mom
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