Twitter Users Debate the Mechanics of Vampire Sex, Hilarity Ensues
Vampires make people horny. We're not making a blanket statement here, but it's a pretty undeniable fact. For hundreds of years, humans have eagerly consumed media regarding the scary and sensual bloodsuckers. And while we can't claim to be experts in the field of vampire content, it sure does seem like the world's been extra interested in the raunchier side of these undead creatures. Over the last 20 years, starting with Underworld, the spooky subjects of European folklore have been thriving on both the silver screen and our black mirrors.
Some of the television shows to come out of this period were almost shockingly sexual. Yeah, we're talking about True Blood. None of my friends could deny the appeal of Alexander Skarsgard's oft-naked Eric Northman. There was The Vampire Diaries. And then there was Twilight, a series of movies based on the saga by Stephanie Meyer. These movies were less horny and more cringey, but boy, did they involve some sexual tension (and eventually, yes, some vampire boning). Despite the breadth of lusty content, there's very little mention in any of these stories regarding exactly how vampire sex works. And until a couple days ago, we'd never really questioned it. Until we saw this tweet.
How vampire penis get hard with no blood flow?
— yea my name is Susie (@REALlilDebbie) July 25, 2021
We weren't the only people intrigued and disgusted by @REALlilDebbie's blunt question. The tweet went viral, inspiring self-described vampire scholars, Twilight fans, and jokesters to respond with theories, TikToks, "scientific" explanations, and, of course, some amusing reactions. While the thread is arguably hysterical, we're more impressed by the sheer volume of knowledge dropped in the replies. We actually learned something today. That counts for something. Definitely going to be telling people that vampire literature becomes popular during sexually repressed times. Maybe our pandemic dry spells are to blame for all the Twilight discourse on TikTok. Whatever the case, we're enjoying the nerdy ride.
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