I Became The No-Photo Creep On a Dating App, And Was Pleasantly Surprised With Men's Reactions

Some of you may remember that a few weeks ago, I did a small experiment where I matched with and spoke to profiles on Tinder with no photo. Most of those guys were creeps, so I decided to see what it feels like to be on the other side of a no-photo profile. I wanted to make a fake Tinder, but that turned out to be nearly impossible: Facebook and Tinder kept figuring out it was me every time I tried to make a fake account.

Instead, I turned to an app I haven't tried before, Coffee Meets Bagel. I expected to meet with some hostility, but maybe people are just nicer on CMB because people were surprisingly open to talking to me. HOWEVER...everyone asked what I looked like. Which like, is fine, but why bother matching with someone with no photo if all you care about is looks? Further proof that men are shallow and vapid. And don't you worry, I did get some creep-o messages too. Here are some of the highlights from this fun little experiment.

01
The Detective

via Coffee Meets Bagel

This was the first guy I spoke to, and so far we were off to a great start. He immediately figured out that I was playing him, although he did get a few of my details wrong (I'm only 6'3, but thanks for the vote of confidence bro!). He was a little bit of an a**hole about it, but like, I can't really blame him? I truly expected all of my conversations to go like this, but weirdly...he was the only one who called me out.
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02
The Cat?

via Coffee Meets Bagel

Here are my thoughts on this conversation: UGHHGH. EWWW. WHYYY?? I don't have much else to say. My ethnicity? Seriously? Meow????? Why would I respond to "meow"??? Why do men dig themselves into these conversational holes and then pretend not to notice they're holding a shovel? Seriously, this isn't a rhetorical question. Someone please clue me in.
03
Mr. Eclectic Tastes

via Coffee Meets Bagel

This man straight up tells me "I'm into hot women. No fatties." 20 bucks says if I did send him a photo of my fat a** he'd still ask me out immediately. But seriously, men, it's 2021. Is this really the middle school sh*t y'all go around thinking? How are you even allowed in society?
04
The Chill Dude

via Coffee Meets Bagel

Honestly I have no criticism for him. He asked what I look like in real life. I told him I'm a moose in real life and he just...went with it. No pushback or anything. Amazing.
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05
The Assumer

via Coffee Meets Bagel

It's not the most interesting of conversations, mostly because it ended after two messages. My guess is that he sent the same generic message he sends to everyone, and when I asked him to show his work he chose to leave the classroom. Or maybe he thought the painting of Alice in Wonderland I used as a profile pic is really what I look like and just found my question too confusing.
06
The Wholesome Boy

via Coffee Meets Bagel

I honestly felt kind of guilty about my deception after talking to this guy. I mean, he asked me out and was literally prepared to go out with me without ever seeing a picture or knowing my real name. All he wanted was a verbal confirmation that I am a woman, and would actually have taken me at my word. I'm not sure that this is such a good example to follow, but it's definitely sweet in like, a sad way. I'm thinking I'll come clean and tell him I'm just running a social experiment...hopefully it doesn't ruin his confidence. Ladies...anyone single and want to take this boy out?
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