Entitled Mother Expects Teen Daughter To Babysit Brother Instead Of Going To School Dance

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abbyadler
Oct 5, 2021 12:30 PM EDT

There are some people that simply weren't meant for parenting. In an 'Am I The Asshole?' thread, OP told us about how she had a girls' trip planned with her sisters but had nobody available to babysit her autistic son. Instead of giving up on her plans, she told her teen daughter that she couldn't go to the Halloween high school dance so that she could babysit her brother. Last I checked, OP was the parent, not her daughter. Instead of forcing her daughter to babysit, she should have been the one to take one for the team. Redditors seem to have the sentiment, calling out the mom for forcing her daughter to parent instead of participating in coming-of-age experiences. But don't let them decide your opinion for you. Go ahead and scroll down for more details, and let us know who you think is in the wrong in the comments. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/goodidahopotato 6 hours ago 2 AITA for telling my teen she can't go to a dance because I need her to babysit and she's my only option? My kids are Bindi (17) Ava (14) and Fritz (9). I'll cut right to the problem: my sisters and I are going for an overnight trip late this month. With my oldest sister's work schedule the only time we can go for the foreseeable future is the 29th. This has been planned for several weeks. Bindi announced to me this week that her school is doing a
    via u/goodidahopotato

    Bindi sounds adorable. How in the world could OP break her little high school heart like this? 

  • 02
    Organism - what you're probably thinking, he's nonverbal, no eye contact, no toilet training, that sort of thing). This makes him much more difficult to leave with someone than his sisters ever were - I could easily find a sitter for them when they were younger. The only people who will even take Fritz outside our household are his grandparents, who cannot watch him that weekend. He also does well with Bindi, meaning she is literally our only option.
    via u/goodidahopotato
  • 03
    Organism - Bindi didn't take it well and asked me why Ava can't watch him for a few hours while she's at the dance, since Ava has babysat before. Well, Ava is having surgery the Monday before that, nothing major but she is not going to be healed up enough to deal with one of her brother's meltdowns by Friday. (I'm not saying that would happen but it's always a possibility with him). She can help but someone else needs to be there and that someone else is going to have to be Bindi.
    via u/goodidahopotato
  • 04
    Font - She responded by saying she "didn't realize her siblings were so much more important" and went up to her room scowling. I've tried knocking and calling her, but she keeps sending me straight to voicemail. I get that she's upset and was really looking forward to this dance (it's only for juniors and seniors and school didn't have it last year thanks to COVID), but I'm going to need her to make a small sacrifice for the family right now. I fully intend to make it up to her. But does expecti
    via u/goodidahopotato
  • 05
    Rectangle - ETA: Dad died when Fritz was a baby, besides my younger sister who will be going on trip, my family all live in another state.
    via u/goodidahopotato
  • 06
    Human body - AllOutofFs · 5h 2 7 & 14 More Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] One kid special needs. One kid just had surgery. And you're going out of town? In what world are you not the asshole? YTA
    via u/AllOutofFs
  • 07
    Font - DrFolAmour007 · 2h Asshole Enthusiast [8] yeah OP is destroying Bindi's childhood. And soon enough Bindi will go no contact and OP will be like "but why, I don't understand it blah blah blah". OP's a big YTA.
    via u/DrFolAmour007
  • 08
    Font - scorpionmeal · 4h 26 4 & 13 More YTA Jesus freakin Christ. Stop putting your parenting responsibilities on your child because you'd rather go out with your sisters on a fun weekend. Your daughter didn't ask to be born. She also didn't ask to parent YOUR son. It's YOUR son, so it's YOUR responsibility to find a sitter for your children. Your daughter is a MINOR who is not qualified to take care of your child/children. You decided to have kids and now you must suffer the consequences. Pay t
    via u/scorpionmeal
  • 09
    Font - sorchajuniper · 4h This is the sort of situation you hire a trained nurse with some specific experience with special needs and post-surgical care in. And OP is like "no worries! My minor daughter will handle it!" Probably for free too.
    via u/sorchajuniper
  • 10
    Font - chickenfightyourmom · 4h Certified Proctologist [21] YTA for sure. I'd love to see a diagram of the mental gymnastics OP had to perform to convince herself it's cool to 1. Leave her disabled child alone without an adult caregiver, 2. Leave her post-surgery recovering child alone without an adult caregiver, 3. Turn her eldest daughter into a surrogate parent. Parentification is abuse. That's what you're doing to your older daughter. Pro tip: if you can't afford a caregiver or qualified sit
    via u/chickenfightyourmom
  • 11
    Font - Stace34 · 4h Partassipant [1] Not only that her son is nine. She's had 9 years to find an organization, a company, some type of backup that has professional, healthcare trained employees that can watch your kids in your home for a short period of time. She's had 9 years to do that, and has not bothered to find anyone. Her failure to plan, should not constitute an emergency for her daughter. She was planning a weekend away, she should have been looking into a professional who could look af
    via u/Stace34
  • 12
    Font - Pergamon_ · 4h Partassipant [1] Well, it IS a "be there for family" time, but it applies to the mother not the 17 year old daughter.
    via u/Pergamon_

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