Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems To Kick Things Up A Few Notches

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Oct 18, 2021 11:00 PM EDT

At its best, the internet is like being inside of a thousand people's screaming brains all at the same time. At the worst, it's uh... let's not talk about it. Anyway, funny tweets and tumblr gems are the right kind of freakin' wild when it comes to trying to color your day with humor and minutia. SO step into those screaming minds, and yell back, baby.

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  • 01
    Dog - CIHFRETA powerburial someone fed him a pickle
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 02
    Water - wedomorrison My boss called me on discord and he's asking me Serious Work Questions but I'm nearly choking to death and he keeps asking me what's wrong but I how am I supposed to be professional when his icon is THIS
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 03
    Font - JP @jpbrammer when I leave the Zoom and my smile disappears I do feel like a serial killer 3:31 PM · 2021-06-10 · Twitter Web App 3,926 Retweets 166 Quote Tweets 41.9K Likes
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 04
    Brown - mud' itch it's past 1 ng midnight and my grandmother got up and keeps loudly tearing paper right next to my room mudkipbitch by the way the reason there's paper tearing is because she reads books by ing tearing them apart page by page as she moves through them instead of just flipping the pages like a normal human mudkipbitch adipemdragon excuse me WHAT @adipemdragon this is what her room looks like on a good day 45 BREATHLESS Although Henry was less work-toned than his Ewin thing fit hi
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 05
    Terrestrial plant - Jenny Nicholson @ D23 @JennyENicholson The last 4 times I've gotten Postmates, instead of a single delivery person it's been a boyfriend and girlfriend making a day of doing deliveries together, which is cute but not the vibe I need when I'm getting restaurant food brought to my house to eat alone
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 06
    Product - shes2sensitive not to be ladphobic but I think ppl who go for a bit of cheeky nandos in public are disgusting :/ It's adam and eve not banter with steve spankmehardbarry what language is this 326,296 notes A
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 07
    Organism - Sophie @jil_slander ... Still not over the fact that when I got my prosthetic legs they were like "do you want to be taller" and I was like "ya" and then they made me 2 inches taller. You wish you were me 1:03 PM · 2020-09-01 · Twitter for iPhone 28.9K Retweets 1,487 Quote Tweets 479K Likes
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 08
    Product - Andrew Bridgman @bridgmandrew hi, i'm the head VFX guy for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. we have to delay the movie again because I accidentally deleted the eyes and nose and made Sonic's face just a big giant mouth. also i mistakenly programmed it to feel pain, so it is always screaming. i'm very sorry
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 09
    Dog - roryrobot woofle
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 10
    Font - tilthat Follow TIL in 1915, San Diego hired a "rain maker" who used a secret mix of chemicals to "attract rain" for $10,000, payable if he filled their reservoir. It rained for most of January, GG destroying bridges, dams, and causing 20 deaths. via reddit.com armedandgayngerous that was the Devil 105,234 notes
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  • 11
    Font - LilJonson @LilJonson I moved into a two family house and it turns out our upstairs neighbor is a beekeeper. There's 20,000 bees in the backyard. She said they're friendly and will learn my face and behavior pattern and not bother me. I do not want 20,000 bees knowing my face and behavior pattern. thedreadpiratejames Follow the mortifying ordeal of being known by 20,000 bees onenicebugperday That's 20,000 new friends!
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 12
    Organism - Not a lawyer @InternetHippo When a football player points to the sky after a touchdown he's saying "That one's for you, international space station" 7:34 PM · 1/20/19 · Twitter Web Client
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 13
    Forehead - Them: Hey are you okay? Me: Yeah why? My face:
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  • 14
    Font - weaver-z Follow Radiation is insane. There are rocks out there that will pull the seams of your organs apart if you stand too close to them. fluffmugger Follow #some rocks really do have auras#unfortunately the aura is 'eat sh and die' energy
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 15
    Font - NICE mustard MOUSE @nice_mustard it was the busta rhymes, it was the wursta rhymes 5:18 PM · 8/23/12 · Twitter for Android
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 16
    Font - mydearestmonster Werewolf: *transforming* You have to go, now! I don't want you to see me like this... Human s/o: Don't push me away! I'm not afraid of you!! Werewolf: No no I'm just really dumb as a wolf and I don't want you to see me bark at a mirror for two hours dirtymonsterconfessions #monster imagine #DON'T LOOK AT ME IM A MONSTER this does not spark joy #IF YOU RECORD ME SCREAMING IN THE BATHTUB AGAIN IM GONNA CRY this sparks joy How could you hide this beautiful thing in the tags?
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 17
    Font - magnet @arcadeseals society: follow your dreams! me: [only eats cheese] society: no 13:22 · 27 May 19 · Twitter for Android
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 18
    Font - astraldemise skyrim is a bad game because i cant hug my friends or my husband. maybe i want to let the people in my life know i appreciate them dearly even if they just have three lines of base dialogue astraldemise and before one of you says something like "oh why dont you just play stardew valley or animal crossing or some other game where you get to be nice to people" please understand that i enjoy hunting the city guards for sport but that doesnt mean that im not full of love 34,993 n
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  • 19
    Musical instrument - 4 attentiondeficitstarscream me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please??? my brain: my brain: ..ranibow sprimkle. attentiondeficitstarscream Ranibow Sprimkle ranibow sprimkl. a-walking-lovesong Kepchup. kepchup. 5 colorguardian18 SPINCH SPINCH ladyallo BANCH BANCH scoobertdoobertlove CHICHEN NUGGEST chichen nuggest yondus-wife What is your favorite vegetable? BROGLE borzboy STRAWIBEBBIES FOR SALE strawbebbies. O razzal213 this post al
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  • 20
    World - Marcia Belsky @MarciaBelsky My general rule of thumb is not to do any activity that if it kills me ppl will be like "...fair" BBC News (UK) O @BBCNews · Jun 1 NEWS Swimmers enjoy warm weather in London at the Sky Pool which is believed to be the world's first transparent pool built between two skyscrapers bbc.in/3FUKLP4 BBC NEWS " Decision in Scotland due on next stage of lockdown easing 10:55 12:15 PM Jun 1, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 21
    Jaw - Justin Staggs @Staggfilms Do you think, in a pinch, Jim Henson ever used Kermit as an oven mitt? 9:53 PM 1/17/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via JeetheMagnificent
  • 22
    Font - A you-only-liberate-once my host mom in Japan referred to her Roomba as "Roomba-san" and when it would get stuck she would just look over it and softly say “ganbatte, Roomba- san.ganbatte" as it made distressed beeping noises at her whoopsrobots "Ganbatte: Cheer up, Be courageous, Do your best" Source: you-only-liberate-once 151,556 notes
    via ElbowdeepinAgony
  • 23
    Forehead - fairy-nidoran The only objective way to measure the quality of any character creation in games is "Can I make Waluigi in this?" bugcthulhu Wah Wah never changes
    via ElbowdeepinAgony
  • 24
    Property - Brown Recluse @EISangito BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE / YOU'RE GONNA GET A MANICURE Hell remains intact in all its glory @julie_neuhouser · May 21 Finally found the nail salon for me NINAILS KENTPO NO4OAOPIAI & AIZOHTIKHI AKPON NINAILS 8:28 PM May 22, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 25
    Plant - Лиля @lo_lifer I sent my mom this photo of my yard not realizing the tiny Adirondack chair I got for my cat was in the frame and she thought it was a pregnancy announcement 5:16 PM May 26, 2021 Twitter for iPhone
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 26
    Font - my family is sending my 91 year old, legally blind, great uncle to europe alone for a vacation when i dead cSS watched this man microwave his birthday cards four months ago
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 27
    Font - chunk master flex @heyoitsnave dating an older man ain't always what it's cracked up to be cause we in the middle of an argument and he gon say "what's good for the goose ain't always good for the gander" son what the hell that mean 11:58 PM · Jun 5, 2021
    via DevilPieBandit
  • 28
    Font - walmart brand chris evans @BennyWillard My therapist calls it anxiety induced tremors I call it involuntary jazz hands 2:26 AM · Jul 14, 2020
    via DevilPieBandit

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