Stories Of Shy And Aloof Cats Finally Showing Affection To Their Humans

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Oct 30, 2021 12:00 PM EDT

There is always a chance, when you adopt a new cat, that the cat… just won't show you much love right away. It's hard to blame them - they're in a new environment, they're scared. It can take a while for a cat to get used to its new owner. Don't fret though, eventually, with enough time and care and space - if and when they need it - odds are that your cat will show you love. 

You just have to be patient. And, when the moment finally comes, when your previously aloof cat shows you affection, you heart will melt, and every second that you have waited will be worth it. It might be something small. Your cat might just decide to sit next to you. But you will know, we promise, you will know the moment that your cat has finally accepted you. 

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  • 01
    Smile - CaveFlavored · 4d 10 months ago I adopted an elderly basically feral cat, with obvious traumas. This week my partner was allowed to pet her for the first time and she jumped on the couch with me at an appropriate distance. I feel like crying, I'm so proud of her! Pure love.
    via u/CaveFlavored

    Goodness, we are so happy that you shared this story with the world. We can imagine that it gives hope to a whole lot of people. We want to say thank you to you for adopting this fluffball and giving her a chance - not only a senior but also one with traumas… you have done something worthy of admiration. Thank you.

  • 02
    Cat - 466P-03
    via u/CaveFlavored

    Aah! This kitty looks so heckin' happy and calm. That is a face that says that you have finally been accepted, finally been chosen. This is it, there is no going back now. You now belong to this cat, and you will love it just as much as she does.

  • 03
    Cat
    via u/CaveFlavored
  • 04
    Product - CaveFlavored 4d She actually started snoring now while laying next to me. I can't. My heart- the trust. I love her SO much! 1.4k O Q Reply O 2 Dr_Legacy 4d That first pic is a love gaze. You are doing something right 1 640 O Q Reply
    via u/CaveFlavored, Dr_Legacy
  • 05
    Water - lonewolf143143 4d Was going to write exactly this. OP, this cat loves you back. Talk a lot. The thing that most ferals don't hear much is human speech. So everything you say for a long time has to be completely processed. They've also got to figure out what different tones mean for the same word. no & NO! are very different. Thing is, this cat loves you enough to want to figure that all out
    via lonewolf143143
  • 06
    Font - bunonthemun 3d Seconding this! Years ago, I adopted an adult cat who previously belonged to an elderly couple who declawed and spayed her upon taking her in from the streets. Then the wife died and the husband couldn't take care of the cat on his own, hence how she ended up with me. She took a year to let me pet her (the declawing, losing a caretaker, and moving homes did a number on her) but I talked to her daily throughout that year and l'm sure that was a major factor in our breakthrou
    via bunonthemun
  • 07
    Font - Kellidra 4d Like others have said, that first picture is a love gaze. I don't know how experienced you are with cats, but a few of pieces of advice to expedite this behaviour (also just general advice for anyone not too experienced with cats): 1. Slow blink at her whenever you catch each other's eyes, especially if she initiates the stare. This is called a trust blink or a love blink because it shows the other cat you trust them enough to not constantly watch their movements (cats move at
    via Kellidra
  • 08
    Font - 2. Speak to her gently and calmly whenever she enters the room. You don't even have to say words. It can be gobbledegook, but as long as it's gentle and quiet, she'll know you're speaking to her. Cats rarely meow to each other. They vocalise, but usually not a meow. That sound seems to be exclusive to humans. If you speak quietly and calmly, it echoes how cats initiate communication with one another.
    via Kellidra
  • 09
    Font - 3. Stretch and yawn with her. If she stretches out into the classic cat stretch, stretch and yawn with her. This is a sign of comfort and trust. The little scratches they do while doing that stretch are, "Mmhmm, this is my home, and I'm happy here" scratches. If she does the little leg stretches while walking, then initiate the gentle and quiet talking. Like slow blinking, walking and stretching like this is a sign of happiness and love. Basically, any behaviour a cat does that would get
    via Kellidra
  • 10
    Rectangle - VinMariani 4d ... Aaah, look at her, she's so lovely! We adopted a very, very shy cat as well. At first he was hiding for a couple of months, then we were not allowed to look at him for another few months. But then he eventually "thawed" and now he jumps on our laps immediately when we sit down. He also sleeps in our bed at nights. All the best to you guys!
    via VinMariani
  • 11
    Font - RogueFiccer001 3d When I adopted my cat three years ago (she was 10 at the time), she hid under my bed for two weeks and I had to push her food bowl just underneath because she Would Not come out to eat. The third week, she started to come out once in a while, mostly after everyone was in bed at night, and the fourth week she'd make appearances during the day but she was still keeping to herself under my bed, against the wall. By the end of the fourth week, she was pretty much out from un
    via RogueFiccer001
  • 12
    Smile - EriesAston 4d ... This gives me hope. I adopted two scared kittens in May and I would love to be able to pet them, but they won't let me anywhere near them. They have had bad experiences with humans in the past and all I can do is be patient.
    via EriesAston
  • 13
    Font - Ginny_Bean 4d Try sitting on the floor when you feed them. Sit about 10-15 feet away if you can, but make sure they can see you. Go a tiny bit closer every day. Don't rush it. When you can sit next to them, stay right there for the next few days. The idea is to develop a positive association. They'll think, "When she's here, we get food, which is good, so she must be good." In the wild, cats are vulnerable to attack when they are eating. They'll learn they have nothing to fear from you wh
    via Ginny_Bean
  • 14
    Water - liliborg 3d Hang in there. We adopted a shy, scared kitty in September last year. Her progress has been very gradual, the first two months hiding under the sofa, then on top of it inside the blanket, a few months to get out of her room, but now she hangs out around us all the time and loves pets and brushing. She is still very skittish and will absolutely run away at the smallest movement but I am so proud of how far she has come along in a year.
    via liliborg
  • 15
    Font - HarshlyHanna 4d Amazing progress. Thank god for your patience and love!! So happy for you Reply + CaveFlavored 4d ... I took her in under the pretence: She hates humans and there's a possibility you'll never be able to touch her. So there's no pressure on her or me to make it work. If she'd never be near me she would have been a part of the family too. It's team work, dumb as it sounds. As soon as she shows me a signal that comes close to no I back off appreciate her boundaries. And that
    via HarshlyHanna, CaveFlavored

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