Narcissistic Husband Gives Wife The Silent Treatment At Her Birthday Dinner For No Reason

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abbyadler
Feb 10, 2022 1:00 PM EST

Choosing a birthday gift for your spouse is always challenging. We might know our spouses very well, but that doesn't mean we know exactly what gift will make them smile every year. However, we know what not to give them, and that's the silent treatment. In today's 'Am I The A$$hole?' post, OP shared how her husband doesn't like spending money on eating restaurant food, but her mom treated the two of them for her birthday with $100 to eat at the restaurant of their choice. It was supposed to be a lovely evening, but her husband acted as if she wasn't there the whole night once they sat down at the restaurant. It's not like he was the one spending money, so what TF gives?! Scroll down for the Redditors' response to this marriage drama. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAsshole · Posted by u/DifferentAwareness79 20 hours ago CO 6 AITA for wanting my husband to talk to me at my birthday dinner? Not the A-hole My husband (58M) and I (48F) went out to dinner at a cute little eatery for my birthday. We've been married 25 years and rarely eat out. He doesn't like spending the money for restaurant food. However my mother, who knows how much I
    via u/DifferentAwareness79

    I feel like it's already clear based on the title who is definitely in the wrong here. 

  • 02
    Font - restaurant food. However my mother, who knows how much I enjoy trying out new restaurants, gave me $100 as a gift and told the hubs she'd babysit so the two of us could eat out. It's a beautiful little place, we score a patio table and because the hubs isn't talking I start making up stories about the people around us, (He's a forensic detective and she sells expensive candles) just silly stuff. He's still not talking. By the time our entrees show, I realize I'm essentially talking to mys
    via u/DifferentAwareness79

    OP's mom is my favorite character so far. 

  • 03
    Font - wait for him to finish and give the waiter my card, sitting in silence. When we're driving home, I said, "I know you don't like spending money on eating out, but it was a gift from my mother for my birthday. If you were going to"punish" me by refusing to talk to me, I wish you'd have just told me and I would have taken our daughter instead." He was offended and huffed, "I have nothing to apologize for!" AITA for thinking he would be pleasant company? I've definitely
    via u/DifferentAwareness79
  • 04
    Font - learned my lesson. Edit for info: my husband goes silent and refuses to talk to me as "punishment" when he gets upset. I didn't realize this was what was happening until around the time the entrees arrived. I guess I should have picked it up more quickly but I was excited about being out. Info #2 No, he never said he didn't want to go beforehand. I didn't “force" him to go.
    via u/DifferentAwareness79
  • 05
    Font - deco9676 · 19h 3 Asshole Aficionado [14] NTA. For his birthday may I recommend a basic book of manners and nothing else.
    via u/deco9676
  • 06
    Font - Flowerofiron · 12h NTA. He was giving you the silent treatment. It's a common narcissistic tactic. They pretend you don't exist because they feel you're beneath them. My dad used this a lot. Once I was an adult, I didn't tolerate it. I do not speak to him at all anymore. I'm so sorry he ruined your birthday, and he didn't even pay for it! Honestly, why are you with him? He clearly doesn't care about you.
    via u/Flowerofiron
  • 07
    Human body - WastelandMama · 14h I'd recommend couples counseling as a gift tbh. Silent treatment as a punishment is emotionally abusive & gross.
    via u/WastelandMama
  • 08
    Font - TrashMonster2020 · 19h Ohhh no, no no no. I'm so sorry he made you feel guilty for enjoying yourself on your special day. That was a very thoughtful gift from your mom and I hope you go out again, treat yourself or take your daughter/mom and fully appreciate the experience. You deserve it. I also kindly suggest leaving him. Happiness and compatibility is the key to life well lived.
    via u/TrashMonster2020
  • 09
    Font - Khanover7 · 16h Partassipant [1] NTA, is he always so abusive and cruel for literally no reason? Happy birthday and I'm sending you hugs. You deserve better.
    via u/Khanover7
  • 10
    Font - DifferentAwareness79 OP. 15h Thank you for the hugs! There are very few things that he gets pissy about, this is unfortunately one of them. If he was horrible like this routinely I never would've married him in the first place.
    via u/DifferentAwareness79
  • 11
    Font - sarah280590 · 19h NTA. my husband goes silent and refuses to talk to me as "punishment" when he gets upset. You've put up with this for 25 years??
    via u/sarah280590
  • 12
    Font - SnazzySusieQ · 18h Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] NTA. He gave you the gift of the silent treatment for your birthday? I think the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse (refusing to speak or communicate with your partner/child as a form of punishment for not agreeing or not doing things their way), but boy would I be so tempted to play the game.
    via u/SnazzySusieQ

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