Clingy Coworker Reports Unwitting Mentor to HR For Standing Her Ground

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Aug 15, 2022 2:00 PM EDT

This incompetent coworker reported her competent teammate to HR after she spent months hounding her for information and experience. The report was instigated by the teammate standing her ground after she finally reached a breaking point from all the questions.

In a post on Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole), this user shared her story, wanting to see if she was wrong for reporting her teammate. 

Readers were quick to point out how out of touch with reality the poster was. Some commenters, like user u/gracca (items #6-10), offered detailed breakdowns of the most delusional parts of the post and highlighted where there were critical mistakes in their thinking.

"YTA," voted user Immediate-System-716. "You're being clingy to the point where it's hurting her productivity and then taking her frustration as hostility."

Other commenters picked up on the same vibes that I had while reading through this post and commented that they just felt annoyed at the author while reading.

"YTA, not only did you obviously hold her back, you were getting on my nerves just while reading this," commented user bosko43buha. "I cannot imagine how she must have felt."

"Lmao, right?" responded user Matty_Cakez. "I'm glad I wasn't the only one annoyed reading this sh#t."

 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Due Establishment8602 6 days ago A233 AITA for reporting my colleague to HR? Background: I (26f) just started my first job after finishing my masters, and work in a dept with another colleague (27f, Thea) who joined the company 2 months before me. She is currently in graduate school, and I'm amazed at how she is very efficient and fast in her tasks. I noticed that Thea is always assigned complicated tasks despite being new to the company, and I wanted to join the projects that she's
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 02
    Font - Recently, she put up a huge whiteboard at her desk which detailed all her meetings and tasks for the month. I was very impressed with the set-up, and asked her what the tasks on her board meant. She became very irritated when I asked if there was room for one more teammate, and she finally snapped and said 'not everything with my name needs you involved.' I was surprised at her hostility, but just thought she was having a bad day. But ever since then, she's been very distant and just gene
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 03
    Font - I'm conflicted relationships. as I don't want to ruin my workplace But it was very difficult to work with her, and I did what I thought was the right thing to advocate for myself. AITA? Edit: Okay so I posted this otw to work and I didn't know my story would be so riveting to all of you. I see that there is an overwhelming vote of YTA, which I didn't expect, and I can't reply to every comment, but I'll address some below:
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  • 04
    Font - 1. There's a lot of assumptions that Thea is POC & I'm being racist cause I'm white, but I'm not. Why? because we're both Indians. So I'm sorry to ruin your dreams that I'm some racist. 2. Why did I mention her still in graduate school? Because she's doing her EdD, so I'm impressed at her ability to manage postgrad AND her job. I couldn't manage it in my masters, so I just wanted to know how she did hers. 3. No, she is not my senior, we both have the same title but different levels, as pe
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  • 05
    Font - 4. The evidence I presented to HR included how she gave me earlier deadlines than the rest of the team (which she claimed was because I was slow, so even if I was late on my deadline I was still on time with everyone else), how she would keep telling me to go find the documents I'm looking for in the folders that she had already prepared even though she doesn't tell me exactly where I can find it, and how she would send me a lot of condescending texts about not being late with the submiss
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 06
    Font - graccha 2 days ago 23 & 94 More Partassipant [2] always assigned complicated tasks Okay so she was already earning trust in the company! she is someone who will implement very strict timelines in order to get things done That's how she earned that trust. I had trouble keeping up because I wasn't used to having such deadlines, but she would just tell me to be faster next time and move on. So you slowed her down, probably making extra work for her. She became very irritated when I asked if
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 07
    Font - Why are YOU in charge of setting your task list? What is this corporate structure? I was surprised at her hostility One snappish remark =/= hostility. just generally difficult to work with. She wouldn't be as helpful as before when it came to retrieving documents that I need, implemented tougher deadlines, So she stopped cutting you slack on slowing her down? and would just avoid me by going home earlier. If your coworker is avoiding you after stating "you don't need to be involved in eve
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 08
    What evidence? Well, the talk didn't seem to go well because now our boss has told me to just stay out of her way, and removed me from all projects that involves her. Thea has even been moved to another section in the office, closer to our seniors, who I've heard been trying to placate her to stop her from leaving. Okay, in corporate speak, this means "leave her the alone". I'm not sure this went as badly for her as you seem to think. I'm conflicted as I don't want to ruin my workplace relations
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 09
    Font - capmanor1755 2 days ago edited 1 day ag 2 Pooperintendant [60] . Oh no. I'm afraid the way you handled this was way outside workplace norms. Which isn't unexpected - you're still new at the workplace. Go to AskAManger.org and start reading posts on how to manage workplace issues. Read ALL the posts- great tips on professional culture and how to adjust. Here are a few previews... 1. She wasn't being "difficult to work with", she was just declining to keep coaching you. Gathering "evidence"
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 10
    Font - 3. When you've been struggling to meet deadlines and keep up with a team is NOT the time to ask to be put on more projects with them. Work on your time management skills and get your performance up. When you're starting to get positive feedback that's your cue that you can ask to get on more projects. 4. When you have a challenge with a co- worker, first start with a conversation with them to see if you can resolve it. Next have a conversation with your boss to get their take. Then and ON
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  • 11
    Font - Satannista 2 days ago OP strikes me as the kind of grad school grad that never has had a real job until after their masters... to be 26 and this is their first real world job is probably why she has the professionalism of someone in their teens/early 20s. As much as grad school is hard work, the professional norms in academic do not translate well to a high paced professional environment like the one OP is describing. I do mentorship for new grads and am always happy to teach/lunch&learn
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 12
    bosko43buha. 2 days ago YTA, not only did you obviously hold her back, you were getting on my nerves just while reading this, I cannot imagine how she must have felt. 6.8k Reply Share Matty_Cakez 2 days ago Lmao right? I'm glad I wasn't the only one annoyed reading this 1.1k Reply Share
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 13
    Font - Immediate-System-716 2 days ago YTA. You're being clingy to the point where it's hurting her productivity, and then taking her frustration as hostility. 3.0k Reply Share
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 14
    Free_Ad_7708 - 2 days ago Aficionado [17] YTA You were the one who created a hostile work environment by repeatedly sticking your nose in her business. She's there to do her job, not teach you. Helping colleagues is important, but you were being excessively intrusive; no wonder she she started distancing herself from you. Reply Share 2.6k
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 15
    LittleBelt2386 - 2 days ago Partassipant [2] YTA, you wanted to your nose into everything she's working on and got salty when she rejected, especially when it sounds like you've been missing deadlines. Not eveything revolves around you Also Imma be honest, the company clearly holds her in high regard so if you think you managed to pull one over her by REPORTING HER TO HR when all she wanted was to do her effing work, lol. Reply Share 2.1k
    via u/DueEstablishment8602
  • 16
    Font - Rhomya 2 days ago S Certified Proctologist [22] YTA- you tried to weaponize HR because she didn't slow down to accommodate you, when she did you a favor in the first place. She didn't have to involve you to begin with. You aren't entitled to being on every one of her projects. You got offended because she called you out on you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, and you tried to threaten her. What you did is frankly toxic, and I don't blame her for not wanting to be around you. ✩
    via u/DueEstablishment8602

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toxic-workplace coworkers human resources workplace coworker annoying coworkers annoying people aita reddit thread Reddit
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