Memebase

March Dadness: 23 Eye-Rolling Dad Jokes

  • 1
    Every time we drive past a gas station, my dad says "Excuse me, I just passed gas" @jimmyfallon #MarchDadness 10:51 PM 15 Mar 2017 1 8
  • Advertisement
  • 2
    When the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he says,'No, just leave it in the carton!"#marchdadness 8:53 PM 15 Mar 2017 48 276
  • 3
    My dad signs most of his texts "love, YAD." For years I thought it was a typo, turns out it means "your awesome dad" #MarchDadness 10:38 PM 15 Mar 2017 t1 25
  • 4
    Badass Dad used to pretend to be asleep, then shout "Still alive!" at the nurses checking in on him (he had a heart condition)#MarchDadness 6:01 AM 16 Mar 2017
  • Advertisement
  • 5
    Recently got a job at Dick's Sporting Goods as a cashier. My dad has been calling me a Dick checker ever since. #MarchDadness 3:41 AM 16 Mar 2017 14 2
  • 6
    Every time the doorbell rang my dad would yell, "Everybody, act normal!" Loud enough for the person outside to hear it. #MarchDadness 1:33 AM 16 Mar 2017
  • 7
    every time we pass by the cemetery my dad says "people are dying to get in there!" 12:16 AM 16 Mar 2017 11
  • Advertisement
  • 8
    Follow Just asked my dad for his best dad joke... his response? "You" #MarchDadness 8:57 PM - 15 Mar 2017 39 248
  • 9
    Child and man doing thumbs up
  • 10
    (Dad) "Did you hear about the kidnapping on the news?" (Me) "No?, What happened?" (Dad) "it's okay he woke up" #MarchDadness 12:43 AM 16 Mar 2017 2 11
  • Advertisement
  • 11
    Me: Dad, how long hve u been married? Dad: 17 happily married years. Me: thought it was 24 years? Dad: like I said, HAPPILY. #MarchDadness 10:51 PM 15 Mar 2017
  • 12
    Every time a bug hit the windshield my dad would say "he'll never have the guts to do that again". Every time. #MarchDadness 9:46 PM 15 Mar 2017 t16 115
  • 13
    Once I said, "Dad, I've been thinking..." to which he replied, "I thought I smelled something burning." #MarchDadness 7:09 AM 16 Mar 2017
  • Advertisement
  • 14
    When I said to my father that I was old enough to drive he said: "Yes but the car is not." #MarchDadness 11:08 PM 15 Mar 2017 5
  • 15
    man and son in white shirts sitting by water holding fishing rod
  • 16
    One time my dad walked up to a Samsung security guard and asked, "Are you guardian of the galaxy? MarchDadness @jimmyfallon 9:15 PM 15 Mar 2017 754 87
  • Advertisement
  • 17
    Dad broke his wrist, asked nurse if he'll be able to play piano. When she said yes, he said "Great! couldn't play before!" #MarchDadness 12:31 AM 16 Mar 2017 7
  • 18
    My dad owns both an IPad and an IPad mini he refers to them as his mini pad and his maxi pad. MarchDadness #5daughters 10:47 PM 15 Mar 2017 1 28
  • 19
    One time, his fortune cookie told him to embrace his mistakes. Next thing know, he leans over and hugs me. #MarchDadness 9:36 PM - 15 Mar 2017 t29 246
  • Advertisement
  • 20
    The secret service doesn't yell "get down!" when the president is in danger. Now they yell "Donald, duck!" #MarchDadness 8:57 PM 15 Mar 2017 7 46
  • 21
    Child and man smiling doing thumbs up
  • 22
    My friend's dad said "What happens when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?" then left the room Best one I've heard. #MarchDadness 8:55 PM 15 Mar 2017 7 40
  • Advertisement
  • 23
    My dad bought me a condom when I turned 18. The cashier asked if we needed a bag, my dad replied, "No, she isn't that ugly." #MarchDadness 10:18 PM 15 Mar 2017 23 157
  • 24
    Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?" "It's making headlines!" #marchdadness t133 895
  • 25
    "where are the other 19 pilots?" -my dad at a twenty on pilots concert e #marchdadness t78
  • Advertisement
  • 26
    Dad: What's Forrest gumps password for everything Me: What Dad: 1forrest1 #MarchDadness t94 404

Tags

Next on Memebase

Comments