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March Dadness: 23 Eye-Rolling Dad Jokes

One of the greatest perks to being a father is the license to tell extremely lame jokes that make your family groan and roll their eyes in unison. 

Here's 23 that you can unleash on your family. 

But what's better than dad jokes than being able to share them with your old man! You grew up with his horrible jokes, and definitely now have acquired and made some of your own. Take a bunch of new ideas with these cringe-worthy dad jokes. Or refresh your own stash of terrible jokes with these awful jokes that are actually pretty dam funny.

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  • 1
    Every time we drive past a gas station, my dad says "Excuse me, I just passed gas" @jimmyfallon #MarchDadness 10:51 PM 15 Mar 2017 1 8
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  • 2
    When the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he says,'No, just leave it in the carton!"#marchdadness 8:53 PM 15 Mar 2017 48 276
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  • 3
    My dad signs most of his texts "love, YAD." For years I thought it was a typo, turns out it means "your awesome dad" #MarchDadness 10:38 PM 15 Mar 2017 t1 25
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  • 4
    Badass Dad used to pretend to be asleep, then shout "Still alive!" at the nurses checking in on him (he had a heart condition)#MarchDadness 6:01 AM 16 Mar 2017
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  • 5
    Recently got a job at Dick's Sporting Goods as a cashier. My dad has been calling me a Dick checker ever since. #MarchDadness 3:41 AM 16 Mar 2017 14 2
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  • 6
    Every time the doorbell rang my dad would yell, "Everybody, act normal!" Loud enough for the person outside to hear it. #MarchDadness 1:33 AM 16 Mar 2017
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  • 7
    every time we pass by the cemetery my dad says "people are dying to get in there!" 12:16 AM 16 Mar 2017 11
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  • 8
    Follow Just asked my dad for his best dad joke... his response? "You" #MarchDadness 8:57 PM - 15 Mar 2017 39 248
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  • 9
    Child and man doing thumbs up
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  • 10
    (Dad) "Did you hear about the kidnapping on the news?" (Me) "No?, What happened?" (Dad) "it's okay he woke up" #MarchDadness 12:43 AM 16 Mar 2017 2 11
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  • 11
    Me: Dad, how long hve u been married? Dad: 17 happily married years. Me: thought it was 24 years? Dad: like I said, HAPPILY. #MarchDadness 10:51 PM 15 Mar 2017
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  • 12
    Every time a bug hit the windshield my dad would say "he'll never have the guts to do that again". Every time. #MarchDadness 9:46 PM 15 Mar 2017 t16 115
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  • 13
    Once I said, "Dad, I've been thinking..." to which he replied, "I thought I smelled something burning." #MarchDadness 7:09 AM 16 Mar 2017
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  • 14
    When I said to my father that I was old enough to drive he said: "Yes but the car is not." #MarchDadness 11:08 PM 15 Mar 2017 5
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  • 15
    man and son in white shirts sitting by water holding fishing rod
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  • 16
    One time my dad walked up to a Samsung security guard and asked, "Are you guardian of the galaxy? MarchDadness @jimmyfallon 9:15 PM 15 Mar 2017 754 87
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  • 17
    Dad broke his wrist, asked nurse if he'll be able to play piano. When she said yes, he said "Great! couldn't play before!" #MarchDadness 12:31 AM 16 Mar 2017 7
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  • 18
    My dad owns both an IPad and an IPad mini he refers to them as his mini pad and his maxi pad. MarchDadness #5daughters 10:47 PM 15 Mar 2017 1 28
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  • 19
    One time, his fortune cookie told him to embrace his mistakes. Next thing know, he leans over and hugs me. #MarchDadness 9:36 PM - 15 Mar 2017 t29 246
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  • 20
    The secret service doesn't yell "get down!" when the president is in danger. Now they yell "Donald, duck!" #MarchDadness 8:57 PM 15 Mar 2017 7 46
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  • 21
    Child and man smiling doing thumbs up
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  • 22
    My friend's dad said "What happens when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?" then left the room Best one I've heard. #MarchDadness 8:55 PM 15 Mar 2017 7 40
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  • 23
    My dad bought me a condom when I turned 18. The cashier asked if we needed a bag, my dad replied, "No, she isn't that ugly." #MarchDadness 10:18 PM 15 Mar 2017 23 157
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  • 24
    Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?" "It's making headlines!" #marchdadness t133 895
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  • 25
    "where are the other 19 pilots?" -my dad at a twenty on pilots concert e #marchdadness t78
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  • 26
    Dad: What's Forrest gumps password for everything Me: What Dad: 1forrest1 #MarchDadness t94 404
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