What's better than this? Guys being dudes!
Hello, dear reader. Should you find yourself upon this page, I'm going to take it in good faith that you want to read about some of the momentous internet events of the week. If you don't, screw it! You're here now, and there is plenty catch up on below. So settle in, and get ready to become enlightened. Or find something to complain about, your choice.
(Almost) Everybody Loves Chicken Man
Did you hear about the guy who ate a whole rotisserie chicken? Not once, not twice, but for forty whole days. People love doing dumb stunts for social media, and social media users love to rally around them. Naturally, this meant it was posted about in detail by the man who undertook this task, @AlexiconTom. Giving updates from day 11 onwards, his mission amassed enough of a following that he could stage a whole event at an abandoned pier, where people watched him consume the final bird.
While many were delighted with his achievement, others were a little more skeptical. Some reasoned that eating one chicken a day wasn't exactly hard to do, and true to Twitter form, others tried to find cancellable information about the dude who was chowing down on them. They didn't manage to burst the joyous bubble, though. Long live rotisserie chicken man.
Cheetos Get the Funeral They Deserve
Listen, I love a flavorful, corn-based snack as much as the next consumer. But isn't it kind of boring that only thing we do with them is put them in our mouths? A brand as iconic as Cheetos deserves a dose of creativity, or at least that's what @sunday.nobody seemed to think.
In the another story of a guy finding viral fame with food-related hijinks, the intrepid TikToker decided that the perfect way to spend some time would be to bury a packet of Flamin' Hot flavor in a 3,000 pound sarcophagus. Reasoning that the effort was like a kind of time capsule for the benefit of future civilizations, the creation and burial of the handmade tomb soon became viral. Not everybody was impressed with his efforts, with some people pointing out that the grave was far too shallow to stand the test of time. It made for good #content though, and that's what matters.
Finally, A Game That Can Kill You
The past decade has exposed us to all kinds of horrifying things when it comes to the category of ‘Tech Bros Being Evil’. At this point, being involved in some shady sh*t is a necessity for most of those aiming for Big Tech stardom. Turns out even the fun stuff can't be left out of this, after Oculus creator Palmer Luckey announced that the company had made the prototype for a VR headset that kills you in real life if you lose your game. While it was specified that no-one was actually supposed to use this invention, it's safe to assume that something horrifying could come of this pretty easily. It was the kind of sci-fi about flying cars that we were supposed to make real, people.
Tumblr Prepares to Usurp the Bird App
If the past couple of weeks have been a grim diagnosis for Twitter, then the past 24 hours may be the final few nails in the coffin. With high profile staff quitting and the cracks of its budget cuts beginning to show, Elon Musk has hinted at bankruptcy for the company. It's led to numerous frenzied takes on the site itself, as well as a lot of interest in platforms that its users may migrate to.
Top of the list for many has been Tumblr, which has attracted a lot of interest recently. It's been a long while since the site has been under the spotlight like this, and it's making the most of it with some elite level trolling. From posting unbelievable cringe to mocking Twitter's doomed paid verification system, they seem to be having the time of their lives.
Many of a certain age and online disposition will remember that at the time of its fall from grace, Tumblr had many of the issues that plagued Twitter — with the added blow of its historic adult content ban. However, if we're lucky, maybe current events will make 2023 its year. Plus, boobs are back now.
That concludes another summary of the week's online happenings. The likelihood is that we probably won't remember half of them by the time another seven days have passed. Still, they offered us a few moments' distraction when they happened. See you next time.