Brother's new 23-year-old girlfriend constantly steals his 17-year-old sister's clothes to wear around the house, doesn't understand why that's weird: 'Honestly it just feels kinda gross'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 4, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Sharing clothes is an intimate thing. It's usually reserved for very close friends, lovers, or family. But even then, you might not want even your closest pal to wear that dress you wore to your 21st birthday. It's too sentimental, and what if they get a stain on it? Clothes are tied so closely to our identities. Someone can see your sweater out in the wild on another person and immediately think of you. 

They're a huge part of how people perceive us. It's why some folks have a big problem when they show up to a party wearing the same thing as somebody else. There's a whole section of some celebrity magazines that asks the question, "Who wore it better?" You'd hate to be head-to-head with someone you didn't even sign up to compete with. This is all to say, I understand when people don't want to share clothes. 

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  • 01

    AITA for saying it's inappropriate that my brother's girlfriend keeps wearing my clothes?

    I (17F) live at home with my mom and brother (23M). His girlfriend (23F) has started staying over more often, like multiple nights a week. I'm not judging that part too much, she's great but what's really bothering me is that she keeps wearing my clothes.
    via u/MajesticDevice8908
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10538378496
    via Allef Vinicius

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Especially with people they don't know that well. Sharing clothes means you're a certain level of comfortable with each other, which has to be earned over time. You don't just waltz into my house and expect to wear my favorite cardigan. That's what the girl in this story thought, but she faced some difficulty when she tried to speak her mind. 

  • 03
    The first few times it was with permission and I'd agreed and lent her my stuff but now I'll just wake up and see her walking around the kitchen wearing one of my shirts like it's normal. I never said she could freely take anything.
    via u/MajesticDevice8908
  • 04
    When I brought it up to my brother he said it'd be a hassle to make her pack more stuff, that it's just a nice way to make her feel more welcomed and at home, and that it'd be even more inappropriate for her to wear his clothes around the house. Okay??? how is that my problem? I'm not her closet. Idk why she doesn't just wear my mom's too.
    via u/MajesticDevice8908
  • 05
    I told him it made me uncomfortable, especially because there's something intimate about her wearing my stuff and it reminds me that she's sleeping in his bed and I don't want to picture that. Honestly it just feels kinda gross. Our mom is staying out of it, she didn't disagree with me but idk if she sees it the same way I do or just doesn't care.
    via u/MajesticDevice8908
  • 06
    EDIT: yes I have a lock on my door, but not all of my clothes are in my closet- mine and everyone else's overflow clothes are all folded in the laundry room which is accessible to anyone. I know I'll have to tell her directly soon and suggest what ppl have been commenting about leaving her own clothes here. I just hate feeling like I'm gonna be starting drama bc nobody else in the house sees my issue.
    via u/MajesticDevice8908
  • 07
    Another edit. I just wanna mention I know I may seem passive but I let it slip by a bit longer bc he's told me she has a delicate situation back at home, whatever that means. He also said it's like how sisters always borrow each other's clothes and I should try to be more understanding and like I don't wanna be an ahle bc I don't have an issue w her outside of this but she is NOT my sister. She is HIS girlfriend and idc if it's just 2 shirts borrowed in a week I still feel like it's too much.
    via u/MajesticDevice8908
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10538378752
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09

    Commenters agreed that this was an over-the-line ask.

    china_aa 17h ago If she is going to come over/ stay over so much. She should start BRINGING her own clothes... Like what the heck??? Does she not have shame or feel weird in someone else's clothes???
    via u/china_aa
  • 10
    FeedsBlackBats 17h ago NTA • You're going to have to bypass your brother and go straight to the girlfriend. Tell her that you don't appreciate her taking your clothes without asking. How is she even accessing your clothes?
    via u/FeedsBlackBats
  • 11
    Maybe make a comment when you're all together having a meal or something "don't you find it weird kissing your girlfriend when she's dressed like me? Would give me the ick, but you know, you be you" and pull a face.
    via u/FeedsBlackBats
  • 12
    whatevsjustreading 17h ago • NTA. What in the heck. No one's entitled to your clothes and the excuses are so weak. Anywhere gf goes, she needs to make sure she has enough clothes..
    via u/whatevsjustreading
  • 13
    . Telly94 17h ago NTA. She should absolutely be asking before she takes anything. Tell your brother they're gonna have to deal with the hassle of her packing more stuff and tell your mom you want a lock for your stuff.
    via u/Telly94
  • 14
    Ok_Objective8366 · 17h ago Next time you see her tell her no more borrowing your stuff to pick her own clothes. Don't go through your brother and tell her directly. One time fine but now she's taking advantage of it. It's not a hassle for her to pack but laziness
    via u/Ok_Objective8366
  • 15
    ObfusKate_ · 17h ago NTA if your brother thinks it will make her feel more welcomed, he can have her wear his stuff or she can leave some of her own clothes in his room.
    via u/ObfusKate_
  • 16
    dog-N-suds87 • 17h ago NTA.... your brother and his GF a major AH's... I'd start locking your closet if possible if your parents aren't saying anything then you have major issues with your family concerning boundaries.... Time to move out if possible
    via u/dog-N-suds87
  • 17
    Charming-Bike-427 17h ago • NTA. I accidentally wore my boyfriend's dads hoodie because they worked at the same place and it was the same exact hoodie. Once I realized after a while it was smaller I was horrified. You are right, it is intimate and not okay unless there is permission.
    via u/Charming-Bike-427
  • 18
    MadQueenBecca 17h ago uhh it's more weird she's wearing your clothes than his - why does he think that's strange? fine they'll be - oversized on her but she should have her own clothes if she cares that much. NTA you better say something before she steals them properly
    via u/MadQueenBecca
  • 19
    Guyin63376 • 17h ago NTA Your Clothes. Tactfully explain her visits aren't spontaneous you prefer she plan accordingly.
    via u/Guyin63376
  • 20
    dzeltenmaize • 17h ago Tell her. Say you were agreeable the first time as she probably did not plan to stay over but she needs to bring and leave her own clothes with your brother or use his. Your stuff is no longer available.
    via u/dzeltenmaize
  • 21
    Fun-Yellow-6576 17h ago • NTA. She can bring and wear her OWN clothes. It's not that hard ffs.
    via u/Fun-Yellow-6576
  • 22
    Famous-Programmer... . 17h ago Sounds like you need to have a talk with her. If it still continues your mother needs to stop the sleepovers.
    via u/Famous-Programmer657
  • 23
    Spirited-Hall-2805 17h ago • Lock on your door. Tell your mom why, hopefully she wakes up and stands up for you. Talk to the girlfriend. It's strange that she's comfortable wearing your clothes.
    via u/Spirited-Hall-2805
  • 24
    kiltedswine · 17h ago NTA. Your mother should be supporting you and your obviously healthy boundaries. She may be TAH.
    via u/kiltedswine
  • 25
    MomentJ · 17h ago NTA if she's over that much, he should give her a drawer or closet space in his room. She can keep 4-5 outfits or whatever and he can wash them with his own laundry so she'll always have something
    via u/MomentJ
  • 26
    hedwigflysagain • 17h ago NTA, your mother needs to step up and stop this now. It is her job to help her children. By doing nothing she is on the girlfriends side.
    via u/hedwigflysagain
  • 27
    JohnRedcornMassage 17h ago NTA Tell her very directly that she does NOT have permission to take your stuff. If she's staying over regularly, she can just keep some clothes and toiletries in your brother's room.
    via u/JohnRedcornMassage
  • 28
    • Legitimate_Hand_5099 17h ago NTA.Thats disrespectful of her taking your clothes w/o your permission. She needs to bring her own if she is going to spend the night or leave some of her clothes there.
    via u/Legitimate_Hand_5099
  • 29
    ValNotThatVal • 17h ago NTA. If she is taking your property without permission, she is the a-h e, and your brother acting like it's no big deal makes him an a-he too. Can you get a lock for your room? That would be my suggestion.
    via u/ValNotThatVal

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