‘Am I Being Ageist?’ 27 Year Old Woman Mortified After 80 Year Old Man Asks Her Out on Date

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    Facial expression - Posted by u/kittlelitter 17 hours ago I (27f) was asked out on a date by an older man (80s?) - why do I feel sad?
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    Font - I just started going to a dance class in my area because I want to make new friends. This dance class is really fun and at the end they open it up so anyone can dance with whoever. I got asked to dance by this older man who must have been in his 70s or 80s and he was extremely nice. He did not seem creepy at all. I got total sweet grampa vibes. He was showing me things I can do to improve and I had a great time. At the end he asked to walk me to my car and then he said "you have to come d
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    Font - later he called me twice and left a voicemail inviting me to a dance event. I called him back and he explained this whole thing I said "are you asking me as a date or are you going with a group of friends?" And he said no it would be a date. I told him no thank you I'm newly single and I don't want to date right now. But then he said oh well that's ok we can drive separate we don't have to put the pressure of a date on it please just think about it and call me later. Then he kept talking
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    Font - Afterwards I felt this immense sadness and shame? And it feels so creepy. Like I know just asking someone out on a date is not inherently creepy but our age difference made me feel so weird. Also I don't know if I am being ageist? Has anyone experienced this or can relate?
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    Font - CurrentSingleStatus · 17 hr. ago S Because it changes your understanding of who is safe, or at least capable of viewing you nonsexually. At least that's what it'd be for me. 6.2k Reply Share
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    Font - B kittlelitter OP. 17 hr. ago This is totally it! I felt safe enough to dance closely with him for 30 mins thinking it was purely platonic and to have him ask me out makes me rethink the whole interaction Reply Share 2.9k
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    Font - Shivvykins 15 hr. ago Exactly the same thing happened to me, I was a 20-something dental nurse and an incredibly dashing octogenarian asked me out. I turned him down but spent my lunch hour crying because I assumed he was lonely. Next appointment he turned up with his adoring daughter, grandchildren and son in law. Reply Share 167 ...
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    Font - Caboose1979 · 17 hr. ago You felt safe in what felt like a free environment and it still happened 341 Reply Share
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    Font - TheSmilingDoc. 16 hr. ago The only excuse I can come up with is that he has a different idea of what a 'date' means nowadays, but otherwise, God, honey, you don't have anything to feel ashamed or weird about. The situation is weird, that's on him, not on you. 211 Reply Share
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    Font - MrBleah 12 hr. ago I don't know why the guy felt the need to ruin a perfectly good interaction by asking you out, but he obviously has a screw loose. Guy is in his 80s and is just taking cold shots at 27 year old women. 37 Reply Share
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    Font - Kingjoe97034 · 17 hr. ago · edited 17 hr. ago This. I'm a guy exactly twice OPs age, and I've noticed that women in their 20s are finally starting to not be scared of me. I can finally compliment their jacket without them thinking I want to date them. I don't want to date them. I just like their jacket. I've liked their jacket for 30 years but can't say it without being seen as a creep. Guys like this 80yo are ruining it for guys like me.
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    Font - CrackedNTwisted - 16 hr. ago . I had an older friend that I would do little favors for here and there. He was 80+ and I was in my 30s. He PROPOSED to me one day. He knew I was in a long-term relationship and had kids. My answer was to ask "what about bf and kids?" He said I should leave them and move into his tiny apartment to take care of him. This really shook me. I felt so many emotions. I had a really hard time being near him and ended up
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    Font - ghosting him after that. My point is, I can totally relate to all the feelings you must be feeling rn. It's hard to explain, but it's like a combo of questioning your perception of people, feeling violated, being completely confused, etc. 201 Reply Share
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    Font - PyrrhuraMolinae · 15 hr. ago I hear you...there was an old man who I met at work, we were both movie fans and he was lonely, we'd talk about movies and occasionally get a coffee together and chat. And I liked him in a kind of grandfatherly way...until he sent me an email rambling about how he loved gazing at my "beautiful face and lovely mouth". Sad really was the way I felt. Just...sad. Can't I just have a friend?
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    Font - valerieswrld 13 hr. ago I used to have a job thar required the occasional meeting at my states AARP office. I have never been so creeped out by men in my life. Older men in their 80s would follow me around, propose to me, sniff me and say the most vile things. I would get dismissed when I complained because they "are harmless" but it didn't feel that way. Reply Share 80 ...

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