Tom Brady has done it again. No, he hasn't secured another Super Bowl victory, but he's done something I find equally impressive. He's announced his retirement from professional football once again, exactly one year after he did it the first time!
I have developed a conspiracy theory about why Brady announced this now, and it might be a little kooky, but hang with me. I believe Tom Brady's retirement announcement is an advertising stunt for the upcoming movie 80 For Brady. Let me explain: 80 For Brady (a flick about four older women sneaking into the Super Bowl to see their favorite play, Tom Brady) has done a great job advertising for half of its demographic. I have seen oodles of promotional material featuring legendary actresses Sally Field, Rita Moreno, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda. I would go to see these women in literally anything, which is why I already have tickets for the Thursday night premier of this movie. The other half of the demographic, actual football fans, likely have no idea this movie is even coming out. Now that the attention is back on Tom Brady, he can finally promote the film.
If you actually care about Tom Brady's retirement and not just legendary actresses, you'll enjoy these tweets reacting to his second (notice we say "second" and not "last") retirement announcement.