Explain Like I'm 35: What is Borg? (February 11, 2023)

Kids these days, with their TikToks and Minecrafts. Do they even know how to have good old-fashioned substance abusing fun any more? The media would have us believe that the younger generations are abstemious little angels that are getting less wasted than ever before. Perhaps this is true statistically, but it's hard to think that looking at their new favorite drink.

Yes, Zoomers have been making leaps and bounds in the tricky science that is making the perfect party beverage. The Blackout Rage Gallon is mostly known by its acronym, Borg. Like all classics, it's simple to fix. Get a gallon jug of water, drink or dump out half, then fill the other half with vodka. The finishing touch is a dash of Mio, for flavor and a few electrolytes.

According to Urban Dictionary, Borg has been around since at least 2018 as a drinking game, where people share a jug until they black out. However, the past couple of years have seen its usage shift. People mix up their own personalized jugs of Borg, allowing them full control over what goes in them. The finishing touch is the pun-filled name that gets Sharpied onto the container.

It could definitely be a recipe for a disastrous night, and is probably enough to give any helicopter parent a heart attack, too. Still, we've got to admit that it's a lot more hydrating than pounding shots all night. In short, it's the winning combination of simple, cheap, and lethal: everything any no-good college student could ever want in a drink. It's pretty low calorie, too, so we can all feel like skinny legends. My prayers go out to the livers of all those inexperienced drinkers.

Posted by Ally Perry