25-year-old boyfriend plans to dump girlfriend before her Dirty 30 due to her materialistic demands: ‘3 years together isn’t long enough for me to feel like I’m losing anything’

Author image for Molly Vincent
Molly Vincent
Aug 15, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Dirty 30 – the inevitable birthday for everyone, and no doubt complex one. 30 is still so young, but not everyone is enthusiastic about it, especially women. The narrator's girlfriend is turning 30, and they've been together for 3 years, which is longer than any relationship I've been in. 3 years is no small feat, especially when you're as young as 25. His girlfriend is high maintenance and materialistic, he's simple and down to earth. He claims her materialism never really bothered him, and that he always knew she was like that. But in the story below, he's at his wit's end, and his patience has run dry on his ability to meet her needs. She wants a "surprise" party that she planned, as well as 30 gifts. The 30 gifts is definitely extreme, unless small things count as gifts, like a card or something. 

It's definitely extreme to say you're not losing anything by ending a 3 year relationship, or 3 day relationship for that matter. So the protagonist must be doing the right thing, but decide for yourself by reading the full story below. 

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  • 01

    WIBTAH If I Ended a Relationship before her Dirty 30

    People surrounding a birthday cake.
    via andresr from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (25M) have been dating this woman for 3 years now. In a few weeks she's going to celebrate her Dirty 30 and has been giving me lists of things she wants.
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  • 03
    Apparently I'm supposed to get 30 different gifts. Her "surprise" party is already being planned. from the very little information I received. The party was her idea
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    from the beginning. I also basically passed down the responsibility to her best friend.
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  • 05
    A portion of her expectations for her Dirty 30 is why I want to end things. I can't explain why it frustrates me. I just feel tired. It's all she talks about since this
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  • 06
    month started. I talked to my dad about this situation and his advice was, "keep her happy. It will be easier in the long run". My mom also said it be awful if I
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  • 07
    ended the relationship before her celebration. She said turning 30 is hard on women. I don't think 3
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  • 08
    years together is long enough for me to feel like I am losing anything on this relationship.
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  • 09
    WIBTAH if I ended our relationship tomorrow or something?
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  • 10
    Edit: Thinking about why I have been feeling frustrated after reading some comments. It's not over gifts or the party. I don't mind spoiling her. We both for 3
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  • 11
    years have spoiled one another. I knew from the beginning she was materialistic and that never bothered me. I am bothered by
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  • 12
    her handing me a list. It reminds me of my boss. I would rather her be my romantic partner and not my boss.
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  • 13
    A happy birthday cake.
    via Visakaruban Shanmugan Imagery / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    I'm going out to meet my girlfriend for coffee. She knows by the tone of my voice that we are about to have a serious
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  • 15
    conversation. I'm going to tell her everything that I have written down. See how she reacts and discuss our relationship from that point. We may or may not break up.
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  • 16
    To clarify it's never been about the list of gifts. I don't mind getting her everything off her list. She could have handed me this list on a regular day and I would
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    Someone writing a list.
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    have spent the day shopping with her. I would have preferred a list on any day that holds no meaning. Most of the list items are not expensive or difficult to
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  • 19
    get. Stuff she needs for her kitchen. One of the expensive ones is a tattoo. I don't mind paying for her first tattoo. I don't have any issues with spoiling her
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  • 20
    especially on her birthday. I don't know how I can be any more clear about this. I'm bothered and wanted to break up with her because of a separate issue that I
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  • 21
    figured out. I was upset, because I felt like an important conversation I wanted to have was put on the back burner for her celebration. This conversation was about me planning a life with
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    her. Also, if you are uncomfortable calling your birthday a dirty 30 then you don't have to. Not everyone feels bad about turning 30. Not everyone
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  • 23
    feels old. I also met with my girlfriend and had a conversation with her. We worked things out.
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  • 24
    For those asking or saying I don't love her because I can drop 3 years and feel like I lost nothing is because (my personal opinion) we have not lived together. We
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  • 25
    lived separate lives. I had planned on talking to her about moving in together or purchasing a house at a dinner I took her to after I got a promotion. That conversation
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  • 26
    a dinner I took her to after I got a promotion. That conversation never happened. That's why I feel bothered. Also neither of us place any value on marriage nor do we want children.
    via u/Simple-Media7149

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