AITA?: Father Disregards Daughter's Wishes And Brings A Pet The Funeral Anyway

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Feb 15, 2023 3:00 PM EST

This father found himself in a sticky situation recently. He's divorced, and the stepfather of his daughter (Isa) from his first marriage passed away recently. The father is remarried now and has a daughter of his own (Ava), both of which are invited to the funeral of the stepfather. His daughter Ava apparently has a lot of social anxiety and needs her pet rabbit with her to calm her down in public.

The father went against Isa's wishes and brought Ava and her rabbit to the funeral, which prompted Isa to scream at them and force them to leave the funeral. We'll let you be the judge of character after you go through and read all the comments, but we're not too impressed with his choice of actions. Is he the AH? What would you have done?

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  • 01

    Backstory pt. 1

    Font - I am a 38m. Daughter (Isa, fake name) is 17f. Stepdaughter (Ava, also fake name) is 9f. Isa's stepfather recently died. I felt terrible because I knew while they weren't super close, he'd been in her life since she was 5, so I knew it must've hit hard. My family was also invited to the funeral. The issue is, however, is Ava has horrible social anxiety. She's homeschooled because of it and has difficulty going to social outings. She's in therapy and has an emotional support rabbit named Lu
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657

    A rabbit for an emotional support pet? That sounds…difficult. Can you imagine bringing a rabbit through the TSA security? Rabbits are anxious enough, we can't imagine they bring so much calming energy, but to each their own!

  • 02

    Backstory pt. 2

    Font - Isa quickly told me she didn't think it was a good idea. Pets were not allowed at this particular cemetery. I told her this was a rabbit (what harm could it do?) and Ava had a medical reason for bringing her rabbit. She then looked it up on google and showed me only service animals were allowed to come. I told her I'd bring Luna, and if an issue arose, we'd leave. She begged me not to, saying her step-dad's death was already hard enough on her mom, and she didn't want any drama to make it
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 03

    Backstory pt. 3

    Font - Isa drove to the funeral with her mom, while my family and I drove together. We brought Luna. Isa and her mom were waiting for us at the entrance when we got out. When Isa saw Luna, she freaked out and started yelling that she told me not to bring her. I explained Ava's needs, and she then screamed that Ava should've just stayed home then and caused Ava to cry (I felt bad because I know she was already dreading the social interaction, so hearing her sister say that must've hurt her badly)
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657

    Wow. The drama. The only reason we can get through reading this is because it's not related to us at all. But imagine being there, at a funeral, and having the daughter of the deceased scream at people to leave because they chose to bring a rabbit to a funeral. Awkward…

  • 04
    Font - kittensandchains 3 days ago YTA. Since when did this funeral become about you and a rabbit? You were told explicitly not to being animals but you went ahead and decided to disrespect a grieving family's wishes on probably one of hardest days of their lives and did it anyway. 32.4k Reply Share Report Save Follow
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 05
    Font - Janetaz18 3 days ago edited 2 days ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] This. YTA. And "emotional support animals" are pets. Just pets. You were putting Ava's needs ahead of Isa's. Which is even more appalling as Ava (and you) had no connection to the deceased when Isa did. Edited to Add: Several people have clarified that ESAS are animals that have been prescribed by a medical professional and that the legal definition of one indicates it is not a pet as it relates to the right for fair housng.
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 06
    Font - Illustrious-Mind-683- 3 days ago Seriously! Pets are NOT service animals! My son was almost bitten by some dog some old woman brought into a store. She had it on a long leash and wasn't even trying to pull it away. Stupid people need to keep their stupid, untrained pets at home. If your social anxiety is really that bad then GO TO THERAPY!!!!! Don't expect everyone else to have to deal with your animal. The entitlement is astounding.
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  • 07
    Font - ThatFat GuyMJL. 3 days ago not only that but WHY DID HE NEED TO BRING HIS STEPDAUGHTER WHO HAS NO RELATION TO THE DECEASED He could have just... NOT BROUGHT HER YTA OP massively
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 08
    Font - Similar_Pineapple418 3 days ago edited 3 days ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] YTA You claim the whole point of going to the funeral was to support Isa. She told you point blank that bringing that rabbit would only make it worse for her. You essentially told Isa that you dont care about her feelings. Ava was not "prescribed" an emotional support animal. But if you feel that insistent that Ava not go anywhere without it, why didn't you leave Ava home? Why did you choose A a over Isa? 10.0k Rep
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 09
    Font - Beast Gevaudan 3 days ago . Certified Proctologist [25] YTA Pets were not allowed at this particular cemetery. I told her this was a rabbit (what harm could it do?) and Ava had a medical reason for bringing her rabbit. ESA are NOT granted public access rights under the ADA (if this was in the US). And what possible harm could be done if a rabbit got loose in a funeral. 5.7k Reply Share Report Save Follow
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 10
    Font - sheramom43 days ago Supreme Court Just-ass [116] YTA. Why didn't Ava and your wife just stay home? They were obviously not there to support your older daughter. They aren't grieving family members. They didn't need to be there. You made a funeral about Ava and her rabbit. It wasn't the Ava show. It wasn't your show either. And your wife made things worse by getting into it with a grieving teenager and her grieving mother. Reply Share Report Save Follow 5.4k
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 11
    Font - rainbowofanxiety 3 days ago I'm a bit confused at to why Ava came in the first place. She had no relationship with the stepfather and had OP just said, "I don't think this is a place you should be." to her, it would've been fine. As someone with social anxiety, I know she would've been far more comfortable staying home than being put in such an anxiety inducing setting. She's 9, she would've understood. But, instead OP decided to violate both the Isa's boundaries and the cemetery rules. W
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 12
    Font - swooziloo 3 days ago edited 3 days ago . YTA . It seems like your function at this funeral was to support Isa in her grief. This is likely also why Ava & your wife were invited as well. If Isa did not want the rabbit to attend, that should have been respected. At best, you should have asked Isa if she would have preferred Ava come with the rabbit or not come at all. Also, it's unsustainable for Ava to never go anywhere without a rabbit. She needs help finding more strategies to cope with
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 13
    Font - miximmaterial · 3 days ago YTA, Rabbits aren't service animals or common emotional support animals for a reason: they are so well known for their anxiety that many vets won't work with them because of how easily they can frighten themselves to death. In a safe and accommodating home with minimal surprises, a rabbit can provide emotional support. At a crowded public event, the rabbit NEEDS emotional support. Others have mentioned how you should have checked in with the adults involved in o
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 14
    Font - Ok_Register3005 Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] 3 days ago Yta. Esa are not service animals and people who insist they are jeopardize and hurt people who actually have service animals. Yta. 1.6k Reply Share
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 15
    Font - Scarlettohara1605 3 days ago Asshole Aficionado [18] YTA. An emotional support animal is not a service animal and is not a medical need. You were already told that animals were not allowed at the venue and not to bring it. If Ava couldn't go anywhere without the rabbit, she shouldn't have gone to the funeral. It's a harsh reality that there's going to be plenty of places that she won't be able to go to with a rabbit in tow. Reply Share 1.2k
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 16
    Font - SlinkyMalinky20 . 3 days ago Asshole Aficionado [17] YTA. You failed both girls - Isa because you refused to respect her boundary and Ava because you forced her into a social situation and allowed her to bring her rabbit knowing it wasn't welcome and wouldn't be well received. You pretty much created a child with social anxiety's worst nightmare. Great job all around, Dad. 528 Reply Share
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 17
    Font - your-yogurt 3 days ago . Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] YTA. this funeral was not for Ava or Luna's sake, it was for Isa's family. emotional animals are not trained or certified, so all you did was bring a pet and you refused to compromise for the sake of others. 451 Reply Share
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 18
    Font - AdOne84333 days ago Partassipant [2] YTA. You diminished both your daughters fir no reason. Isa lost someone close to her. She asked you not to bring the rabbit. You dismissed her feelings and devalued her. She's not a person due respect and empathy. She's "just a child" (boy, does that phrase say a lot about how we value children ) and so should just get over whatever issue she has and obey the adults. So you said "fuck you" to Isa. Ava has social anxiety. She is 9 years old. It's not a
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 19
    Font - My daughter has a comfort rabbit. She would never try to bring it into a funeral. She might bring it in the car and visit from time to time if that was feasible for the rabbit. Rabbits, in general, find new situations with lots of people very stressful, so you're not doing the rabbit any favors either. And it's obvious Ava is the golden child. You're far more concerned about Ava than Isa. You had to choose who to support, your daughter, who just lost her stepdad, or your stepdaughter. See
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 20
    Font - azula1983 3 days ago Partassipant [3] You don't know how you could have handled it diffrently: options: 1 Ava stays at home 2 You clear up the rabbit issue with both your ex and the funeral home. And only take Ava if the rabbit can come. If the rabbit can't come... Ava stays home 3 Ask Isa if she wants Ava to come with the rabbit, or if she prefers to let Ava stay home. respect that wish.
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657
  • 21
    Font - The way you did this: 1: stressed Isa out in one off the worst days off her life 2: made Ava's fears worse and a reality. 3: caused major friction between Ava and Isa 4: showed Isa you don't give a fuck about her wants or needs. Honesty, you could prob not have done worse without breaking a law or two.
    via u/Apprehensive_Ear6657

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