'Try and wear earbuds like normal people': Brother tells sister to let his kids 'express themselves,' tattles to their parents

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    Product - r/AmItheA 9 hours ago . Posted by u/C_E_Ki AITA for asking my brother and SIL to control their kids while they were staying over?
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    Font - This escalated into my parents thinking I was being unreasonable, and now everyone thinks I was an AH and need to apologise. I am here to ask for objective judgement. I should probably tell you in advance that the time you take to read and comment here is highly appreciated.
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    Font - I (25F) live with my girlfriend (30F). My brother (32M), his wife (23F) and 2 kids (4F and 2M) live in a different city but they came over to our house for a wedding they were supposed to attend. I was originally against the idea because for some reason when we spend time together it always ends up badly but he was extremely persistent so I asked my girlfriend and we agreed. It was only for a few days.
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    Font - My niece and nephew are usually well- behaved kids but for some reason they went crazy from the moment they stepped in our house. My SIL thinks she shouldn't tell them to not do something because they're just kids and they should be allowed to express themselves and that kind of stuff.
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    Font - My girlfriend is a doctor and works crazy hours. She came home from her shift in the afternoon and went on to sleep a little bit. The kids were running around, shouting, dancing to loud music, etc. I couldn't hear myself think and I was WFH. A bit later my girlfriend came downstairs, she clearly wasn't able to sleep but didn't make a big deal out of it. She told me that it did bother her but she didn't want to cause a scene and she is just lovely like that.
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    Font - At night when the kids were asleep, I told my brother maybe he could try and keep the kids busy a little bit because they were too loud and it was interfering with my girlfriend's sleep and my work. He said his kids were behaving completely normally and that maybe we should try and wear earbuds like normal people.
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    Font - I said that it would really make the house more comfortable for everyone if he told the kids to keep it down (he'd get extremely angry if I told his kids that. Only he and his wife are allowed to say things like that to his kids.) He said we were being terrible hosts and expecting kids to act like a grown up.
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    Font - They left a few days later. My brother talked about this with our parents. They called and heard my side of the story and they thought I was being too hard on him and that I should apologise. Should I?
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    Font - C_Majuscula 9 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] NTA. They were very rude houseguests and refusing to tell their kids no or to teach them how to behave properly is going to backfire big time.
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    Font - completedett. 4 hr. ago I never understand when I read posts like this, my parents never allowed me to be disruptive or loud at other people's houses, no matter who it was. We were expected to be on our best behaviour.
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    Font - myglasswasbigger - 2 hr. ago Enthusiast [6] As OP does not need to apologize and should NEVER host them again. ΝΤΑ
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    Font - claudie888 2 hr. ago If someone needs to sleep because of work, you take the kids out or get them something quiet to do. That is how many people do it bc one partner works shifts!
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    Font - Jane-Murdoch. 8 hr. ago NTA. Please do not apologize, that will only train your family to have temper tantrums when you do something they dislike. This happened in your home. You and your partner were both very patient and kind, but it's your house and your rules. It seems like your brother wants to take offense to your home having different rules from his, so maybe let him know it's not a judgement thing. Your life is different from his and so your home has different standards of behavio
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    Font - TakeM32UrLeader 8 hr. ago NTA...brother and family should no longer be welcome to stay overnight at your home. Let them stay in a hotel or with your parents.
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    Font - Reddoraptor 8 hr. ago Pooperintendant [69] • NTA and this. Asking for them to not be obnoxiously loud while you're trying to work or your SO is trying to sleep after a long shift is entirely reasonable, and it sounds like they feel entitled to take over your home and make zero effort to be good houseguests and not to be disruptive. Absolutely do not apologize, they were being rude and self entitled, and your parents are indulging it. Never again in your home, and I might skip the holidays
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    Font - Mystified ByPeople - 4 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [20] And I'm not sure that a hotel would put up with that either! [Hmmm, that may be why the brother decided to try to impose on OP?]
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    Font - mrsspinch 9 hr. ago Man, your brother and SIL are the only a holes here. Children need to understand that they can't just be loud and disruptive whenever they feel like it; the 2m old, sure, but the 4y? That kid is absolutely old enough to understand that their (very gracious!) hosts need to work and sleep. Your parents aren't very cool either for not sticking up for you and your partner.
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    Font - Neat-Cardiologist442 - 8 hr. ago Enthusiast [5] As NTA. Your Brother and SIL are incredibly entitled. It's perfectly reasonable to request that children behave themselves.
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    Font - Spare-Article-396 - 8 hr. ago edited 8 hr. ago Pooperintendant [67] NTA. And next time - if there is one - don't wait and don't ask that they 'try' to do anything. Your partner was sleeping and this should have been knocked on the head right then and there. My criticism is that you weren't forceful enough. But you're still not the AH, regardless. 'Hey niblings, Auntie X is sleeping and she needs her rest. You need to keep it down rn.' 'Hey Bro, the kids are disturbing X's sleep, you need
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    Font - diminishingpatience 8 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] NTA. It is not normal to wear earbuds in your home. I was originally against the idea because for some reason when we spend time together it always ends up badly but he was extremely persistent so I asked my girlfriend and we agreed. He wants everything on his terms. When he didn't get exactly what he wanted, he told on you to mummy and daddy. Don't let them stay again.
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    Font - ShutUpMorrisseyffs. 5 hr. ago The cheek of this guy INSISTING that they stay. I usually get invited. They would never come back to mine EVER.
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    Human body - Aggravating-Ear6876 - 2 hr. ago So your 27-year-old brother got an 18-year-old pregnant? Yikes
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    Font - RielleFox 7 hr. ago ΝΤΑ I have kids in that age. You can and should tell them "no" or to be quieter! How else are they supposed to learn to function in society? And "you should wear earplugs like normal people" like WTF?! If it's normal for them to need earplugs around their kids, their problem. But this is totally NOT normal! My kids can be really loud as well, but inside this is something i see they do as short as possible. And you are not allowed to tell the kids if it's too much?! Aga

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