Update! 'She thinks I'm being a jerk for making her pick between her friends and me': Guy suddenly ditches GF in the middle of vacation

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    Font - r/r/BestofRedditorUpdates Posted by u/the_greek_italian 15 hours ago AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along? INCONCLUSIVE
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    Font - I am not the OOP. OOP is_Gradtattoo_9009 Original Post Posted February 7th, 2023 My GF (Sarah, 29) and I (M, 28) have been dating for 5 years, and I wanted to go on a vacation with her to celebrate. I planned the trip for several months (of course I shared my plans with her), and decided on skiing/snowboarding/other winter activities in CO. The activities seemed perfect, and I was looking forward to this for months because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the trip.
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    Font - 5 days before the trip, Sarah dropped the ball on me that she invited 2 of her friends to meet her there. I was upset because I wanted to spend 1:1 time with Sarah for our anniversary. I feel like it was plain and clear that this was a trip for just us. Even though I expressed my concerns, Sarah insisted that her friends already made plans to come and won't back out. I decided to accept this because there was no way for me to force her friends to not come (I wish I fought more on this). I
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    Font - After 3 days of being in second place, I decided to leave the trip and head home. I told Sarah why I was leaving, and she was upset. She told her friends about my decision, and I was ganged up on. They said we were all having a great time. She thinks I'm being a jerk for making her pick between her friends and me (even though her friends weren't invited in the first place). I never had personal issues with her friends prior to this trip. I never made Sarah pick between me or her friends b
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    Font - I'm at home now and thinking about everything. I have a day to myself before Sarah comes home, so at least I get to relax a bit. Sarah and her friends think I'm overreacting and think I ruined the trip. I think Sarah was disrespectful and rude to me by ruining the purpose of this trip and having her friends gang up on me. AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along? EDIT: This was a planned *anniversary/romantic* trip. I was clear that we have plans for ju
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    Font - Relevant Comments: pixp85 commented Info: Is it possible she knew you were going to propose and did this intentionally to avoid it? OOP replied That is what worries me. We discussed marriage beforehand and everything seemed great. This was a planned anniversary/romantic trip, so the nature of it was plain and clear.
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    Font - Dubious People Pleaser commented NTA does she do this often? Does she pick time with her friends over time with you? Balance is fine, but she needs to pick you for more than things like your birthday. Does she often make you feel like the odd one out when hanging with her friends? A good partner tries to include you. Does she often railroad your like this? She was soooo wrong in all the things she did, but that's not the big red flag. People make mistakes and learn from them. Her denying
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    Font - OOP replied You're unfortunately right. I never had personal beef against her friends or family. But I was lying to myself for years. She has picked her friends over me, when I wish there was more balance between us. I never cancelled plans with her just to hang out with my friends, but she has done that to me more than once. This trip was just the biggest stunt she pulled with her friends. OOP is voted NTA.
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    Font - Update 1 and 2 (made in the same post) MINOR UPDATE: My friends are here at the house and they have been running potential interference, just in case her friends try to bombard and harass me. They've been great and I'm so glad to have them! MINOR UPDATE #2: None of Sarah's friends came by the house or harassed me yesterday/last night, which is good! Sarah hasn't come home yet. I figured out what I want to say and have it written out.
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    Font - Update 3 Posted February 9th 2023 From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who sent me kind words and encouraging private messages. I decided that I wanted to end this entire relationship. I packed my important belongings (Ex. Passport, clothes) and arranged with my best friend to crash at his apartment until I can find my own. Usually when small issues happen in a relationship, it ties into a bigger issue of that relationship. The main reason why I decided to break up is becaus
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    Font - Sarah came home late yesterday. I said I have a lot to get off my chest and I want to get through my notes before she talks or tries to interrupt me. The first question I asked Sarah was "How she thought the trip went". She said we all had fun and it was memorable. I shouldn't have to feel like the 3rd wheel in my own relationship, especially on a trip that I planned. My next question was "Why did you invite your friends in the first place? You knew this was an anniversary trip for US". S
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    Font - My last question was "Did you know that I was going to propose to you?". Sarah said she didn't know at all. The thought never occurred to Sarah that I was going to ask. She claimed that she wouldn't have invited her friends to come along if she knew, but I responded that "it would ruin the surprise if I told you". Sarah begged me to stay with her and believes we can work everything out. She didn't want me to throw 5 years away after this one bad trip. I listened to her promises to change
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    Font - OOP replied in a comment: I had much more information in my post, but the character limit was too high. Part of the reason why she stayed back was because I said I wanted to go home alone and think. I know that couples shouldn't storm off after a fight, but it was kinda important to separate for a bit to gather my thoughts. Maybe things would've turned out differently if we left together? I am not the OOP. Edit: OOP posted a recent update just before this was posted on BORU yesterday and
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    Font - Update! Hello Everyone! I got my stuff this past weekend from my house. I'm glad I didn't have much stuff or more heavy items. Sarah and I talked a lot about our relationship and what happened during the trip. Sarah said she is going to see a therapist and wanted to become a better GF in the future. I'm not opposed to getting back together years down the road. But I have zero intentions of being *those* people that are constantly on-and-off. If life does bring us back together, then so be
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    Font - ThatRandom GamerYT 12 hr. ago You can either cum in the jar or me but ... I still can't believe how you can invite your friends to your 5th anniversary trip and never even ask your partner and spring it on them at the last moment
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    Font - Lodgik 11 hr. ago I don't think it's a case where she just didn't think to ask her partner. I think she intentionally waited until the last minute, after her friends had made all the necessary preparations, to mention so that OOP wouldn't be able to stop it. OOP mentions in his post that this has been an ongoing issue. She knew he wouldn't like it, so she did it in such a way he wouldn't have a choice.
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    Font - RUUUNNN_AWAYYY . 8 hr. ago Communication and respect are cornerstones of any relationship. Sarah broke both of those. Let me tell you. If I spent my time, energy, and money on a vacation meant for just my wife and I, and she invited people along, and I found out about it last second? I'd cancel the whole fting thing. I wouldn't care about the cancellation fees either. Full stop. There is no world where doing something like this would be okay to me. Granted, being married and only dating b
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    Font - bored_german - 11 hr. ago What gets me is that she didn't even think he'd propose. They've been together five years, they've talked about marriage. I'd approach any romantic alone time as a possibility for proposal. How did she not think it was a possibility??
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    Font - o SalsaRice 8 hr. ago never even ask your partner and spring it on them at the last moment Springing it at the last minute was exactly the point. She wanted them to come, and making it a last minute "oops it's too sudden they can't change their plans" was her excuse for railroading it into happening. She 500% had been planning on inviting the friends along for a very long time, but the timing of announcing it to OP was critical to her getting her way. It's a pretty common tactic for getti
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    Font - 1LuckyLurker 3 hr. ago If OP thinks hard enough, I bet he could recall off-handed hypothetical comments made by Sarah early on that indicated her intentions. They are the comments we all ignore like, "A & B would love to go to CO! They would love this activity or that activity!" My point is, don't ignore those comments and be very explicit with your intentions at that time, "Yes, A & B would probably like it, but to be clear, this trip is just for us! We will not be inviting nor hanging o
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    Font - Redphantom000 - 12 hr. ago So she was talking to her friends about them coming from the beginning but only sprang it on OOP a few days before? Yeah no that's pretty manipulative. Also I can't get over how she stayed when OOP left. If my partner left a holiday early because she was upset, I wouldn't be able to stay and keep enjoying myself. This girl doesn't sound ready for an adult relationship
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    Font - Ginger_Anarchy. 11 hr. ago Also I can't get over how she stayed when OOP left. If my partner left a holiday early because she was upset, I wouldn't be able to stay and keep enjoying myself. Not just that but describing the trip as "fun and memorable" afterwards to her partner who is sitting her down to have a serious talk about their relationship. It honestly sounds like after the initial blow-up, she didn't spare a second thought to him and just assumed he'd be waiting for her at home li
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    Font - toketsupuurin 6 hr. ago She's not. This is a woman who's not even interested in commitment and settling down. I suspect that their discussions of marriage were him bringing it up and her giving a vague, positive response. The only reason she'd have taken the ring is because she doesn't want to lose him, not because she wants everything a marriage requires.
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    Font - 823 Beautiful-Musk-Ox 12 hr. ago I didn't make any promises to Sarah about a possibility of getting back together because Sarah should change for herself, and not me. someone who gets it! people don't change unless it's for themselves. a lot of people try to change but only to keep the relationship, that never works, it's just a conscious or unconscious ploy to keep the relationship and has nothing to do with actually wanting to be a better person
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    Font - . Sera0Sparrow · 13 hr. ago Am I the drama? I honestly wish "his Sarah" stumbles upon the original AITA post. How could a person be clueless as to bring their friends, unannounced, uninvited to a Romantic Getaway?
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    Font - Monks 11 hr. ago I dated a serial people pleaser once. She was an amazing person who big on planning itreniaries and was also very reliable. She was an amazing gf as well, until we traveled with her friends. In our city we had a good routine of one day her friends one day my friends and the rest would be quality time. But when we traveled, oh boy did it kill our relationship Her friends are so dependant on her because she loves planning the enitre trip. Her priorities were always her frie

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