'He’s a proper mummy’s boy, I want him to just grow up': Dad upsets son after siding with his ex-GF

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 22, 2023 3:00 PM EST

Parents, would you ever side with your child's partner over your actual child? One dad was put in that predicament himself, and went to r/AmItheA**hole asking for advice. 

U/inappropriatedress77 explained that his kid had been dating a woman for about two years, but the relationship was long-distance. Although the family loved when the GF visited, her BF would never fly to see her. He claimed it was because he was scared of flying because he's never done it. As a father, u/inappropriatedress77 believed this was the time to dole out some parental advice. 

Commenters had mixed opinions, but most said dad was not the a**hole here. Perhaps the commenters claiming "everyone sucks here" have the right idea though – dad could have been much nicer in delivering his message to his son. 

Up next, this guy allowed his best friend to hold her wedding at his home, but then her fiancé suddenly asked for an insane request. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAhole Posted by u/inappropriatedress77 2 33 AITA for telling my son he deserved his gf breaking up with him?
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 02
    Font - So my son had a long-distance gf recently for about two years. She was great, a really nice girl and we all loved her welcomed her with open arms. She was flying here constantly to visit him, like a weekend a month and he didn't lift a finger to go visit her.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 03
    Font - I tried talking to him about it several times and told him he should really start looking into flying over to her instead of expecting her to do all the travelling. He said no. And my wife probably had something to do with it as she constantly told him she was afraid of him flying. I spoke to them both and said this girl is great for him, she was willing to move over to our country too, but said there was one condition and that was he'd have to fly over to her country too. Which is fair e
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 04
    Font - He said no, he didn't want to fly or travel anywhere. My son was becoming lazier and lazier, eventually telling his gf and us that he was perfectly fine never travelling anywhere including holidays etc.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 05
    Font - Last week, he told us she's dumped him. I went on her fb page as we're all still friends (she wrote us an apology letter about how she's upset it didn't work out but these things happen, so we're on good terms) and looks like she's with a new guy already. Me and my wife have no doubt she was seeing him whilst still in a relationship with my son.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 06
    Font - I confessed to them both that I actually agree with her decision and he should have expected it. He did not treat her properly and I hope he learns lessons for the next one because he needs to make more of an effort. I said he deserves it for his lack of effort in the relationship and for essentially just allowing this girl to spend all her money and time coming here all the time.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 07
    Font - Wife and son are very upset that I said this. Very very upset and my wife says I am being horrible. AITA? I stand by what I said.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 08
    Font - SelfANew Certified Proctologist [20] NTA. That's the truth. What age is he? Edit: you say he's 24 in another comment. Definitely not the a hole. If he is this lazy and has no plans to travel, what's his plan for leaving the house? Living with parents is great to save money but he doesn't seem the type so far to actually get up and get out eventually.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 09
    Font - inappropriatedress77 OP 24. 14.3k Share Continue this thread → Stormchaser9099 I agree, except for the fact that she was trying to date the other guy while still in the relationship (if that part was true). Long distance gf should've just dumped him sooner if she was already seeing someone else.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 10
    Font - Sunnydcutiegirl I'm also going to add that dad is NTA because let's look at the reality of this circumstance. His son wants this girl to make all of the effort, but can't accept that he needs to make some effort. This poor girl has no need to apologize but made that effort as well, which is something OP's son isn't going to do for her. This dude wants his gf to do EVERYTHING yet refuses to go visit her. If anyone is an AH it's the son and the mom.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 11
    Font - LadyElle57 I would've left him immediately. You're not the a hole, your son is extremely lazy. Good for her.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 12
    Font - thewaryteabag 24?! I was honestly expecting a teenager, and he still would have deserved it. This will sound terrible and I almost feel bad bringing this up, but it sounds like your wife has a lot to do with his current behaviour and attitude with this situation. I'm glad you told the truth. 100% ΝΤΑ
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 13
    Font - Jayney__ A hole Aficionado [11] NTA it's a truth he needs to hear. I'm more concerned about the reaction of your wife. Does she enable your son's laziness? 12.9k Share inappropriatedress77 OP. Yes lol. He's a proper mummy's boy I want him to just grow up tbf. He's 24 now...
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 14
    Font - fudgebiscuitz 3 yr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. He's been too lazy with the relationship anyway. The girl deserves someone better and your son needs to know that it takes effort to make a relationship work. 5.3k Share inappropriatedress77 OP 3 yr. ago Agreed. That's why I said I'm actually happy for her and hope this new guy treats her well. She was really very nice.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 15
    Font - vodka_philosophy. Supreme Court Just-a [118] NTA. Your son needs to learn that relationships are about give and take; he can't do all the taking, and if you needed to be the one pointing it out then so be it. 1.4k Share marimbajoe The way I heard it put by a guy I consider to be wise is that in a relationship, both need to give 100%. If either gives anything less than that, you are just setting yourself up for failure.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 16
    Font - starsformylove NTA but a sticky situation. Your son was in the wrong and he needed to here it BUT because he is your son I can see why your wife would be mad at you for saying that. If you said it bluntly it could sound cold and mean but if you had a nice talk with your son and communicate better it would work for telling him when he is being stupid. You could start off in a supporting manner saying stuff like "there are other fish in the sea" yadda yadda ect... And then tell him that he
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 17
    Font - inappropriatedress77 OP I wasn't entirely awful towards him. We did have a nice chat and I did help him feel better. But I also wanted him to know the truth because I want him to be in a happy relationship one day. So I want him to be a better boyfriend.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 18
    Font - DoYerThang 3 yr. ago BUT because he is your son I can see why your wife would be mad at you for saying that. I can see WHY she would be mad... she is an empowering Mamma Bear protecting her precious prince. Which is not helpful. And I don't agree with the advice to pussy foot around the topic as being truthful by itself is not hurtful. By all means, Dad, be sympathetic to his feelings.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 19
    Font - PerilousAll NTA: I think the perfect time to reflect on your in/actions is while you still feel the sting of the consequences.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 20
    Human body - RedFaced Potatoe Sometimes cold water to the face does best.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 21
    Font - EsseElLoco Parenting isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's your responsibility as the parent to teach your child the harsh truths that they will face in life and it's better to come from a place of love and care than from learning as you go.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 22
    Font - [deleted] INFO: this seems incredibly odd. your son wasn't even willing to fly to see her even when she said she'd only move if he visited her. Are you sure there's not some other reason he doesn't want to fly? It might just be me but it seems quite strange for someone to turn down a holiday and seeing their girlfriend of two years "just because". 593 Share inappropriatedress77 OP. He said he's scared of flying because he's never flown before. Doesn't even have a passport. But I told him
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 23
    Font - Spectrum2081 Parta ipant [2] ESH. Like, everybody. Your son for lack of effort. Your wife for enabling him. The girlfriend, assuming your assumption she was cheating is correct. And you for piling on. Your son already knew how you felt since you already told him. He messed up. He is hurting. Now is not the time for "I told you so."
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 24
    Hat - jackidaylene I doubt the son is heartbroken, tbh. He didn't seem to value his gf that much. A man who loves a woman is usually willing to at least leave the house to see her.
    via r/AmItheA**hole

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boyfriend dads fears girlfriend advice breakup flying
Scroll Down For The Next Article