'He's put her in an impossible position': Dude offers home for his BFF's wedding, until her fiancé makes an uncomfortable request

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 22, 2023 11:00 AM EST

"One of my best friends is getting married soon," this guy wrote, as he wondered if he was wrong for restricting where she could hold the festivities. The OP, u/weddingproperty, had a burning AITA? question for the internet. 

As he shared, he's excited for his best friend Carla to get married to her fiancé Rick. He even offered to let them hold the wedding on his property. However, he recently learned that no one told Rick about he and Carla's romantic history. Once Rick found out,  he didn't respond well. And in fact, he's now trying to get the OP off his own property! The OP is unsure what to do, since this situation pits him against his best friend. Commenters assured the OP that he's NTA. 

Up next, check out this one person who shared their job's insane policy for being "on call" literally all of the time. 

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  • 01
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  • 02
    Rectangle - r/AmItheAs 1. Posted by u/weddingproperty 24 1935 35 34 AITA for not letting my best friend have her wedding on my property after being uninvited?
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  • 03
    Font - One of my (29M) best friends "Carla" (31f) is getting married soon. It's only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they've been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted it because it's private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff. Of course I said yes, she and her fiancé "Rick" were very happy. Thing is Carla and I do have a history. We went ou
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  • 04
    Font - Now my wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn't care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything. I never knew if Rick was told or not, it's not my relationship therefore not my business to say anything so I never did. Rick found out recently and not in the best way. Not sure how but from what I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) we used to date. Not only that but apparently Carla said a couple years ago she was still in love wit
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  • 05
    Font - It became quite a drama and didnt hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they're going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on. But Rick requested that I not attend. It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn't be comfortable. Then I asked the obvious question, where are they going to hold the wedding then? To my surprise she said they still want it at our place.
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  • 06
    Font - Rick said so to and in my mind I'm going "he doesn't want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house." My wife and I are expected to just...not be at our home that weekend, And I told Carla no. They're going to have to find some place else since we're not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn't make sense. Rick doesn't want me around because he's not comfortable but is com
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  • 07
    Rectangle - ARKAK WHERE EN FANS pomme_dor 2 2 223 & 24 More Certified Proctologist [21] Rick doesn't want to get married anymore but doesn't want to be the bad guy breaking up with his fiancee, so he's put her in an impossible position so he can get the sympathy when they split. NTA. 43.3k Share
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  • 08
    Font - BossRedRanger Damn. Excellent insight. Rick is petty and passive aggressive.
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  • 09
    Font - cara180455 A Aficionado [11] That fits will with thinking OP should let him use his house for free and be elsewhere because it's "the least he can do" for having committed the sin of....... having dated this guy's fiancée before he ever even met her.
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  • 10
    Font - weddingproperty OP As far as I've been told he's the one who wanted to work it out. Carla was deciding to end it because she felt guilty about everything and he didn't want it to get to that. I mean it is possible though I suppose
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  • 11
    Font - CJSinTX All these "friends" who are calling Op an as up their house to use. can pony
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  • 12
    Font - WorkRedditHooray I was guessing Rick wanted to get back at the OP and destroy stuff while the OP was away. this feels like he is trying to assert dominance.
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  • 13
    Font - AGuyAndHisCat A Aficionado [13] so he's put her in an impossible position and for that reason, I think OP should call his bluff. Make plans to leave for the weekend and have a family member stay there to watch the house. I think you hvae better than 50/50 odds rick will then call off the wedding
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  • 14
    Font - AznXKitty_ idk if I agree with this take 100% but it sounds plausible. Bottom line is that OP is NTA. If OP doesn't regularly rent out their home then this is just something OP is doing for a good friend. Its awkward and weird and an impossible situation for OP. I would never leave my primary home to someone else for the weekend (friend or not), at least not unless a whole ton of money was involved but my place isn't nice enough for that anyways.
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  • 15
    Font - stefanos916 Parta ipant [1] How did you conclude that he doesn't want to get married? I understand that he endangers his wedding by his unreasonable demands, but I had the impression that he was behaving like that because he is an a and has misconceptions and wrongfully thinks that op own to him. Btw I think op said that he is the one who wanted to keep this marriage, but I am not sure what's going on. 4 Share ambytbfl That would be juicy, but I'm not sure we have enough evidence to suppo
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  • 16
    Font - WonderfulAtmosphere Certified Proctologist [20] NTA- what a weird request. Do you typically host wedding receptions on your property? He can go pay for a venue if he's going to act like that.. if they even end up getting married. 9.4k Share weddingproperty OP Only hosted a wedding once for my sister couple years ago. It's stressful setting up and cleaning up after even with a crew so that's why I'd only do it for people I'm close to.
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  • 17
    Font - Commercial-Royal-988 I'd say offer a venue price and contract. If he doesn't want to pay for it since he doesn't want the owner there and doesn't want to be liable for any cleaning/damages, he doesn't want the event to happen.
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  • 18
    Font - camdoodlebop am i the only one that thinks it's rude to even ask a friend if you can take over their house and property for your wedding? like get an airbnb
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  • 19
    Font - Unsre4evr Parta: ipant [4] NTA, that's not how this works! You don't get to be uninvited from a wedding that is literally in your backyard. You are being incredibly kind and they are being incredibly rude. Either you are allowed to come or they need to find a different venue. Wow! How entitled can you get??
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  • 20
    Font - QCr8onQ Parta ipant [1] At this point OP and wife should bow out completely.
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  • 21
    Font - kaisong There are very very narrow windows in which its acceptable to be not invited to a portion of a wedding thats happening at your home. But none of them are at generic western style weddings, and none of them would disinvite the host from the entirety of the wedding. The groom to be is definitely just trying to go nuclear to make himself be a victim or something.
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  • 22
    Font - DelightfulAbsurdity Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] NTA, if he is uncomfortable by your presence, he is welcome to shell out a deposit on short notice for another venue. No way in h would I allow myself to be run off my own property by an insecure man to use as he sees fit, even just for a day. Malicious destruction on top of typical wedding party mess? No, thank you.
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  • 23
    Font - OkapiEli Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] So RIck thinks this is the least you can do after "everything"... meaning, after you had her first??! Omg, I wish her luck with that one. NTA. I don't think there should be a wedding at all, and since your question is about the location, Nope, not at your place. 1.4k Share weddingproperty OP Yes pretty much. Even though it was almost a decade ago. But also for not telling him about it before as if it was my place to say something
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  • 24
    Human body - BxGyrl416 Using things Carla did almost a decade ago before they even met is a huge red flag to me.
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  • 25
    Font - Status Percentage Parta ipant [1] NTA. Rick is being delusional and seems to have insecurity and jealousy issues. If this is how he is, I don't see the marriage lasting long.
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