27 Horrifically Hilarious Veterinary Stories About Dogs, Cats, And Everything In Between

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  • 01
    Human body - Susie Dorman We had a client that wanted us to neuter her dog instead of spay her because it was cheaper....
  • 02
    Font - Nancy Bulluck We had a gentleman walk in with a cat under his arm, wanting to have it "checked". Cat was stiff, dead as a doornail.
  • 03
    Font - Michelle Friedrich Had a very elderly woman come in saying something was wrong with her dog, very serious, it wasn't breathing and could we do something about it. She unfolded the blanket revealing one a those stuffed dogs, battery powered, the ones that look so real, their chests move up and down, and she was SO sad, crying! We took the "pet" to our treatment area, replaced the AA batteries and the woman left completely happy. She did return 2 or 3 more times after that asking for help a
  • 04
    Font - Rosalind Spencer Stone Oh yeah and another woman brought her young female cat in because she was getting very fat. On examination it was clear that the cat was heavily pregnant, but the woman said that was impossible - the cat never went outside and the only other cat she had contact with was her brother. "Is he neutered?" I asked, and most indignantly she replied that I was suggesting something very obscene and marched off to complain to my boss. Fortunately he was able to convince her t
  • 05
    Font - Rosalind Spencer Stone A woman who had never been to our clinic before brought her cat in after hours; she was absolutely distraught saying the cat was desperately ill, but we could find nothing wrong with it. To humour her we said we would keep the Siamese in for observation, at which she whipped off her T-shirt, revealing her bare breasts and insisted that it be given to the cat as a comfort, and disappeared into the night. The contact numbers she had provided turned out to be incorrect
  • 06
    Font - Rosalind Spencer Stone A woman came in carrying a photo of her dog, asking if we had seen her. After some confusing conversation it turned out her dog had passed over but she was looking for the reincarnation of it. I explained that her dog would most likely not look the same, or even similar, when she reincarnated, and that she should rather be on the look out for a young dog that "felt" the same; some weeks later she returned with a puppy from a shelter, thanking me enthusiastically bec
  • 07
    Font - Tonya Tack Client insisted that the Frontline they purchased wasn't working. After going over the points we always do (did you bathe the dog...so on and so on) I asked the owner to bring the dog in and I would apply a dose at no charge. This was to make sure the owner was applying correctly (even though they screamed at me they had been using it for YEARS and never had a problem until this "last batch") and to give them the free dose. When the client and patient walked into the clinic I i
  • 08
    Font - Stacy Spring Our Hospital Manager recently had a member of his church call him at home and ask if it was possible his dog had impregnated his cat. The dog is a pug and the kittens had smooshed faces.
  • 09
    Font - Chelsea Camann We had a client come in the other day for an exam because they were worried about the 2 large lumps they found on their "female" dog's underbelly...turns out the dog was not a female after all! The best part? It took several minutes to convince the owner that her dog was in fact a male.
  • 10
    Font - Kate Baoumgren We were asked by a client that while their cat was being cremated that the person doing it read out a verse from the bible.The cremation man was so sweet he went down to the library and found the verse they were after and read it during the cremation.
  • 11
    Font - Dulcey Behymer Magnuson At my old clinic, I had calls to ask if we could do a tendonectomy on a cat, because declawing was too cruel, and another woman saying she wanted her long haired chihuahua euthanized because she had gotten out of the house and was "raped" by a pitbull and the owner didn't want the chihuahua to go through the agony of giving birth to pitbull puppies because it would literally tear her apart. At my current clinic, we had someone call and complain that the groomer had
  • 12
    Font - Marianne Furler I was asked by a client to discuss my diagnosis and suggested treatment with the patient - a guinea pig - through a animal communicator to see if the guinea pig would agree. I was pleased to hear that the animal thought that I was very nice and gentle and that it would trust my judgement... (At least the guinea pig was able to take a decision as it's owner obviously wasn't!)
  • 13
    Font - Kristal Chance A client wearing a moomoo came in with her dog that had fleas. She said she had a rash and was wondeting if it was flea bites. She then lifted up her dress to show the doctor her itchy crotch.....and was not wearing underwear
  • 14
    Font - Margaret Shepherd We had a client ask to put down her 7 yo Golden because she was tired of dealing with occasional allergy issues. Then she asked that if her husband showed up with lost fliers to just not say anything. We got the dog into rescue. WTH???
  • 15
    Font - Jim Wright Had a client who a few years after I had gelded her horse asked if I could put the testicles back on because he had become so good and tractable she wanted to breed him! Said she has gotten them off the roof were I threw them and had kept them in her freezer.
  • 16
    Font - Lisa Richardson-Vosbury A man called our equine clinic once trying to make an appointment for his wife's ob gyn annual visit. After I fell out of my chair laughing I finally convinced him his wife would not like how our vets checked mares.
  • 17
    Human body - John T Feutz We had an owner ask the tech to trim her toe nails (the owners nails not the pets)
  • 18
    Font - Ez Eddy Had a lady bring a small garden snail in a jar and insist we scan it for a microchip she was convinced it was "rare" and that scientists or the government were probably tracking/studying it. We humoured her and ran the scanner over it. Surprise, surprise, this snail was not microchipped!
  • 19
    Font - Dennie Sellon Paganini New clients requested that I cover the windows and turn out the lights when they arrived for their pets appointments....because they were vampires......they ended up being wonderful pet owners....new staff members thought I had lost my mind when I would inform them of this clients special needs.
  • 20
    Font - Brooke Bowman We have a rather shady hotel down the road from our clinic. One day a guy that lives in this hotel comes in holding a shoe box saying his cat isnt breathing. We quickly got him in a room and grabbed a doctor to get in there right away. The guy is freaking out (slightly.....very intoxicated) saying his cat is dying and asking if we can save it. The doctor open up the shoe box and there is a Nike tennis shoe. The guy did not believe that it was not his cat and make the dr use
  • 21
    Font - Andria St Clair We kept a clients deceased dog in our freezer so he could come in periodically and take hair samples and such... He told us he was trying to clone the dog, at home in his own lab.
  • 22
    Font - Brooke Bradley I had a woman that was deaf call the clinic through the translation typing service, where operator talks to you, while she is typing. She had a mastiff that was humping everything & everyone. She wanted to know what to do. I told her he needs to get neutered & explained the process & she said she had been, NO JOKE; making him ejaculate once or twice daily so he would stop humping. Yes, the operator who was a male, trying to contain his professional voice, couldn't keep his
  • 23
    Font - Karen Gerfen Glueck Reading about the "after-life" experiences and relating....We had the same kind of request. We had euthanized a little dog, had him in the freezer for a day or so when the owners called and said they realized they didn't have any good pictures to remember him by....the end result being that we defrosted him, gave him a bath, blow out and brushing and then helped with the pictures. It was really awkward (and we did make a lot of jokes along the way) but the clients appr
  • 24
    Font - Kirsten Ura-Barton Man brought in his cat that had been deceased for at least a month for us to have cremated - he had been storing it in a plastic cooler at his house since it died and it stunk to high heaven. AND he wanted a clay paw print to take home. Tech did it - and I'm thinking maybe I don't pay her enough.
  • 25
    Font - Renee Brockett We had a former client bring in a cat to be neutered. He asked if prior to the surgery we could place his cat in a kennel with a female cat for one final.... Our sharp receptionist politely responded with "I'm sorry sir, but we no longer offer that service".
  • 26
    Font - Lisa Lanyon Can you re-use the microchip out of my dead dog for our new puppy???
  • 27
    Font - Amanda Morris We usually make clay paw prints for euths. This lady wanted a scrotal print because "her cat's giant balls were the talk of the neighborhood" !!! She also took a picture with her face and the deceased cat's back end for the same reason!

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