Gather round everyone, and hear the story of the Hippo, and why it hates all riverboats. In ancient times, the gods still walked the earth, but tired of land travel, choosing to travel the great river instead, like the many wonderful aquatic animals who rode its currents. Seeking one such animal as their guide, they gave Tawaret, the first hippo, the power of speech and thought, so that she may serve them as their boat captain.
So Tawaret became their captain and ferried them night and day along the great river, much to her displeasure, for she was a denizen of the sacred waters, and found the god's boat an affront to her home. So she used a swift water bird to get a message out to her children, that they may bring the river's wrath upon the god's boat, and they did so swiftly and with great athletic prowess. Fearing the hippos' wrath, the gods cursed them to be herbivores forever, never to taste fish again. But still, the descendants of Tawaret remember their ancestor's words and deliver their wrath upon any ship that dares to tarnish their sacred waters.
Years of gene splicing have resulted in the ultimate hunter, the frippoptamus. Part frog, part hippo, one hundred percent deadly, this little guy has the strongest poison from all the dangerous frogs combined with the strength and inner rage of a hippo. Be afraid, be very afraid.
While extremely dangerous and best seen from afar, hippos are also incredibly cute with their adorable stubby legs and grey potato-like bodies. Oh, and they tuck their ears back when underwater, which is way too cute for creatures whose motto is 'mess with the hip, get the eternal dip' .
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