'I don't like this attitude you're giving me': Exhausted worker blasts micro-managing coworker

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

This coworker was being such a micro-manager that this person was ready to start yelling at him. 

As a worker at a group home, the OP already has an "exhausting" job. They write that they're stretched thin due to staffing issues, and after a long day on the job, the OP was waiting for their replacement so they could head home. When their coworker showed up, he had some irritating questions to ask, and he didn't bother to ask very politely. Instead, he talked to the OP in a rather condescending way, which the OP tried to ignore. But after this coworker tried to question another policy they abide by, the OP was ready to flip out on him. They asked r/AmItheA**hole if they were in the wrong for snapping at the coworker to "take it up with our boss," and commenters mostly assured them they did everything correctly. 

Next up, this guy tried to be kind and do the right thing after a minor car accident, until it completely backfired. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9746928128
    via Nick Morrison
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA • Posted by u/salad_knife AITA for telling my coworker I don't like his attitude and he can take it up with our boss?
    via u/salad_knife
  • 03
    Font - Edit: I work for one group home company and this is my only job. All these group homes are ran by the same company. Also, HR is a joke at this company, but our boss (a lady) usually handles things well.
    via u/salad_knife
  • 04
    Font - Context: I had a face-to-face encounter earlier tonight with a middle-aged male coworker of mine. I was still documenting when he came in to replace me for the night at this group home where we work. He commented, "Were you so busy you couldn't have had this done already?"
    via u/salad_knife
  • 05
    Font - I tried to ignore him. He said my name and repeated his question. I waited a few seconds and answered him briefly. I kept working on my documentation. In my opinion, he shouldn't micro-manage me since we hold the exact same position.
    via u/salad_knife
  • 06
    Font - I let him know that I have to work at another house tonight and that I might be there past 9am, but I'd do my best to not be any later than 9:07am because our company has a policy that permits us to clock in or out as early as 7 minutes before the start of our shift and as late as 7 minutes after the start of our shift.
    via u/salad_knife
  • 07
    Font - He apparently didn't know about the 7-minute policy, so I explained it to him. He said, "That doesn't make any sense. The shift starts at a specific time, so you should be here at that time. You need a legitimate reason if you're going to be late," so I asked him, "So you don't think that working at another house is a legitimate reason?" to which he replied, "No, it's not. Since your shift starts at a specific time, you need to be here at or before that time."
    via u/salad_knife
  • 08
    Font - At this point, I was very exhausted from my day, let alone my week. I started to feel very angry inside my chest. I felt ready to yell and call him names, but I didn't. Instead, I told him in a firm tone, "I don't like this attitude you're giving me. You can take it up with our boss," and I left immediately.
    via u/salad_knife
  • 09
    Font - Update: My boss sincerely apologized for my coworker's behavior and said she will deal with it.
    via u/salad_knife
  • 10
    Font - Zealousideal-Bar9389 Get HR involved 1 Reply Share : salad_knife OP HR is a joke at this company.
    via u/Zealousideal-Bar9389
  • 11
    Font - starlightstarbrighht Parta ipant [1] NTA. But you're better than me. I would have tore him apart.
    via u/starlightstarbrighht
  • 12
    Font - salad_knife OP The only reason I didn't is because I need this job.
    via u/salad_knife
  • 13
    Font - llamasfartIveheardit Parta ipant [2] INFO: is the other home you work at a second job? Or is it connected to the group home? 1 Reply Share salad_knife OP It's all under the same company.
    via u/llamasfartIveheardit
  • 14
    Font - SpeedBlitzX Certified Proctologist [29] You handled that quite well i would say. Not sure why you think you would be in the wrong. NTA 44↓ Reply Share salad_knife OP My tone
    via u/SpeedBlitzX
  • 15
    Font - changelingcd A Enthusiast [5] Nice restraint, OP. I once lost a job under similar provocation, so I admire the control. NTA, tell him to talk to the hand.
    via u/changelinged
  • 16
    Font - me_version_2 Parta ipant [1] NTA, he's behaving passive aggressive in picking up your work completeness (the reporting) and the time you're in the next day. I think you did the right thing to point out it's not his job to manage you.
    via u/me_version_2
  • 17
    Font - SHFeats NTA but there are ways of handling that stickler type. At the first comment, you should not have ignored him, but you should have said, simply "yes". If he pressed, listen to him and if it's all procedure like you're describing, you say "i'll get clarification from our boss." Then you can carry on about his attitude to the boss instead of directly to him. Any further comments from him should be met with "I'll get clarification from our boss on that as well." Repeat until he unders
    via u/SHFeats
  • 18
    Font - A very similar situation happened to me at a time when I was financially stable enough to throw down an ultimatum. The stickler co-worker who was my equal, but had a title and I did not, pasted me over procedure in a company wide chat the client had access to. I took it to the boss and said simply, "she gets one get out of jail free card. If she does it again she will be performing my job, as there's no one else to do it." I painted the entire thing as the sin in was that it was in front
    via u/SHFeats
  • 19
    Font - Two days pass and everything is 100% okay. Third day she commits the same exact offense. I called up the boss, told him where to find the paste in the chat, and I said "remember what I said? She inherits my job as of this moment. Sorry to have to drop this on you but I wasn't bluffing in any way when I said that." At the end of the day, I got every week of unemployment I applied for, but I did have to take it to a hearing to demonstrate the toxic work space, I won the hearing, and was awa
    via u/SHFeats
  • 20
    Font - Used-Relief-6194 How are you able to work all those shifts back to back? You must also look at it from his side, what if he needed to leave at 9 and you are making him stay 7 minutes late and not getting paid? He is now having to accommodate you because you over booked yourself. It sounds like he didn't get a end of shift report from you and is wondering what happened that you couldn't document during your shift. Both sound like ah
    via u/Used-Relief-6194
  • 21
    Font - salad_knife OP We are so understaffed that I can choose to work at any of our houses. If he needs to leave at 9 so bad, he shouldn't be booking himself at other places so soon after his shifts. We all get paid to be there until 7 minutes after; that's policy. What am I supposed to do, leave one house early and get a maltreatment for abandonment or let this house go without a staff and make someone stuck there for 12 hours? Yes, he did get an end-of- shift report, but he nagged as soon as
    via u/salad_knife

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boss shift work stories toxic-workplace annoying coworkers aita
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