'AITA for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend's food?': Woman hides veggies in her picky-eater BF's food for six months before he notices

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 16, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

No one can agree who was right or wrong in this couple's fight about vegetables. 

It's not easy being a picky eater. It's one thing to be picky as a child, when your parents can attempt to make you eat a variety of foods. But it's another to be so picky that even as an adult, you're still struggling to eat healthily. As a picky eater myself, I hate not knowing what's in my food, especially to discover foods like cucumber or olive in the dish. But if someone blended up those foods and served them to me in a sauce, would I really know they were in it? Probably not, and I'd be happier not knowing! But the same can't be said for this P.O.'d BF, who was enraged to find out his GF was trying to supplement his nutrition with hidden veggies. 

Scroll down to check out this post, and read the very varied comments, which spread blame to the GF, her BF, or to both parties. Next, drum roll please: here are 20+ musical instruments of chaos. 

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  • 01
    Green - 'This is the most ridiculous argument I've had with a grown man'
    via Iñigo De la Maza on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA • Posted by u/throwaway3546364738 12 hours ago AITA for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend's food? throwaway bc he spends a lot of time on reddit. this is the most ridiculous argument i've had with a grown man.
    via u/throwaway3546364738
  • 03
    Human body - I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (36f) for a year and we moved in together about 4 months ago.
    via u/throwaway3546364738
  • 04
    Font - One of the first things I noticed about my boyfriend was that he never really ate vegetables. He would sometimes eat them if we were out at a restaurant and they came as part of his meal. But he never ate them when I cooked for him. Originally I thought that maybe my cooking was the problem so I asked him if he enjoyed my food and he told me he loves my cooking. On nights I didn't cook for him, he ate exclusively frozen foods and never ate the vegetables in those either. Naturally, he has
    via u/throwaway3546364738
  • 05
    Font - 6 months ago I started hiding vegetables in my cooking. If I was making pasta I'd put the vegetables in I'd usually put in for myself, then take half out and blend it so he wouldn't notice the vegetable chunks and then tell him I'd just scooped the veg out of his portion. This happens more often now we live together because I do all of the cooking. He's been telling me a lot lately he's been feeling a lot better the past few months and has even had his doctor reduce the dosage of some of
    via u/throwaway3546364738
  • 06
    Font - Yesterday, I was making one of our regular pasta meals (it's one that's very easy to hide at least 4 veggies in) and i was about to blend my boyfriend's portion when the blender died mid-blend. I had to serve it in all its veg chunk glory. My boyfriend refused to eat the vegetables but when he tasted the sauce he said it's weird how it tastes the exact same even though this one has veg in it. So, I confessed. He screamed at me and called me a controlling b and said that it's none of my bu
    via u/throwaway3546364738
  • 07
    Font - Available_Ask_8725 12 hr. ago NTA. This is a grown man 8 years older than you. If he has a problem with your cooking, let him make his own food. He's already coddled by his sister and doesn't/shouldn't need to be by you.
    via u/Available_Ask_8725
  • 08
    Font - www. TrashMord 12 hr. ago No. You are NTA in anyway, and I don't care what anyone says. I admittedly was the same way, till my girlfriend kinda got me to start. I've felt much better afterwards and just. Yea. Minus squash. I will straight up fight someone over having to eat that nasty h food lol If he's gonna be a cry baby about it, he can cook his food and you can cook yours. That way he can "control what he's putting in his body" as another comment said
    via u/TrashMord
  • 09
    Font - WamiWami Partas ant [2] 9 hr. ago Uhm...he screamed and cursed at her. I mean, if he reacted upset but just expressed why he's against it then sure, just make him cook his own food. But that kind of treatment... shouldn't it be a deal breaker?
    via u/WamiWami
  • 10
    Font - apaullo4200 11 hr. ago This guy is crying about eating vegetable that he didn't know he was eating and actually liked how it taste. What a donut.
    via u/apaullo4200
  • 11
    Font - amp_ro 12 hr. ago Enthusiast [5] A I'm kind of on the fence because on the one hand he's supposed to be a grown a adult but he just threw a giant temper tantrum and stormed out because he found out that there were vegetables in his pasta. On the other hand, I can understand how it would be a violation of his autonomy; he may be acting like a child but he isn't one so it's his own fault that he can't grow up and eat a vegetable for his own health. I can tell you were coming from a place of
    via u/amp_ro
  • 12
    Art - P Haunting-Aardvark709 10 hr. ago If he wants autonomy, he can make his own d food.
    via u/Haunting-Aardvark709
  • 13
    Font - Toast-In-Mouth - 8 hr. ago. edited 8 hr. ago I'm on the fence of ESH or YTA because the question is "AITA for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend's food. I'll probably get downvoted to h for saying it, but here are my reasonings. OP is AH because she hide and lied about putting vegetables in her BF's food fully knowing he wouldn't like it. IMO one should never tamper or lie about what is in the food even if it might be harmless to the other person. She is also an AH to herself for staying w
    via u/Toast-In-Mouth
  • 14
    Font - I'm on the fence of BF being an AH because not a lot of people would be happy with their partner lying/tampering with their food even if harmless so not sure where to place his reaction to finding out. BF is technically an adult so he has the right to choose what to eat even if it's poor choice. That being said BF is a bit of a loser and an idiot. OP should think about if the dynamics in this relationship is really what OP wants and is it worth it to stay in the long wrong. If BF doesn't
    via u/Toast-In-Mouth
  • 15
    Font - Bottom line is I don't think OP is a monster or anything, but if your at a point in your relationship where you feel like you have to trick your partner in to do something they won't like, especially if you would end up having to trick them for life, you might want to reevaluate your whole relationship first.
    via u/Toast-In-Mouth
  • 16
    Font - DJ_Mixalot 10 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [24] YWBTA if you waste more time on this guy. NTA
    via u/DJ_Mixalot
  • 17
    Font - pokederp56 9 hr. ago YTA. Listen. Lies and deception are no way to build a healthy relationship. You know that, he knows that, society in general knows that. So your part in this makes you the AH. However, consider what drove you to this behavior because it doesn't sound like this would be a healthy relationship even without the lying and food drama. This is what I'm getting: your much older partner is refusing to take care of himself in a way that keeps him healthy (seriously, not even s
    via u/pokederp56
  • 18
    Font - Pleasant-Chemist-843 7 hr. ago INFO: did he explicitly ask you not to add vegetables into his food? If not then it's just really strange behaviour from him. Why on earth does it matter that you were cooking with certain ingredients, which happened to be healthy, if he hadn't even noticed? Even more so when vegetables are completely normal things to use in the type of cooking you described. 65 Share throwaway3546364738 OP 7 hr. ago No, he didn't. When we talked about it he said he really d
    via u/Pleasant-Chemist-843
  • 19
    Font - ZooterOne 12 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [23] This is tricky. I'm going with ESH, though I think he sucks far more than you. His overaction is really silly, but I can understand how he feels manipulated by you. Meanwhile, you had great intentions and actually helped him, but the subterfuge bothers me - the guy is an adult, and he gets to choose his own diet.
    via u/ZooterOne
  • 20
    Font - blueberry_pandas. 9 hr. ago Parta ipant [1] YTA. I don't think people are ever in the right if they're sneaking stuff into adult's food. Even if it's healthy and good for them, you knew he didn't want to eat them but you just couldn't respect that. It's serious boundary pushing. If he doesn't want to look after his health and that's important to you, then leave him for someone who does. But this is just underhanded and weird.
    via u/blueberry_pandas

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vegetables boyfriend aita cooking spaghetti relationships fighting food
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