AITA: 'I told my sister she is an evil human being who doesn't deserve to be a mother': Pregnant sister steals the baby name of her brother's stillborn child only a few weeks after they lost it

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    Font - Posted by u/Patient-Ad8524 19 hours ago AITA for ruining my sisters gender reveal?
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    Font - Background: I (30M) have a sister "Layla" (28F). Both me and Layla are married, I to "Pam" (29F) and Layla to "Greg" (30M). Me and my sister had a grandma who sadly passed away when we were in high school. Since we are both married and both plan on having kids, the topic of names came up and we both said we wanted to name a child after our grandma, lets say her name was Victoria. We didn't really fight about this per se and just agreed whoever had a daughter first could use the name.
  • 03
    Font - About a year ago Pam got pregnant which was very exciting. We found out it was a girl and did a gender reveal where we announced we were going to use the name Victoria. My sister was not upset about this and jokingly said something along the lines of you beat me to the punch. A few weeks after this my sister announced that she was pregnant.
  • 04
    Font - Sadly, late into the pregnancy Pam miscarried and lost the baby. This was incredibly difficult on us and Pam suffered especially bad, both physically and mentally. My family has been there. to support us but we have asked Layla to give us some space as seeing her pregnant is a lot for us at this time.
  • 05
    Font - While she was upset about this, she understood. Recently, my parents threw my sister a gender reveal party similar to the one we had for Pam. My Mom convinced me and Pam to go and we felt we were in a good spot to go. We get to the party and all is great until we get to the gender/name reveal.
  • 06
    Font - Greg's family was inside the garage holding a banner that would be pink or blue and say the babys name. When the garage opened me and my wife were shocked to see a banner that said "Welcome baby Victoria Greg's last name".
  • 07
    Font - I asked my sister WTF and she said since we weren't using the name its only fair she should get to. My wife started sobbing and I took her to my car but not before telling my sister she is an evil human being who doesn't deserve to be a mother.
  • 08
    Font - Now my Mom is mad at me because Layla also has a high-risk pregnancy and this was very stressful for her. Most of my family is saying I should apologize for what I said. AITA?
  • 09
    Font - ETA: I think people may be confused about this and this is my fault for using the wrong words. When i say miscarried, my wife gave birth to a stillborn. while our daughter was never alive, my wife gave birth to her, it was just too early for the baby to live sadly. Our daughter is buried in a grave that says Victoria, which I think is part of the reason I was so upset
  • 10
    Font - Puzzleheaded_Chip916 19 hr. ago Partassipant [1] I'm definitely going to say a NTA, what your sister did was definitely horrible, but has she actually experienced losing a child. She probably doesn't understand the feeling. I don't think you should have gone to begin with honestly.
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    Font - Okayostrich 17 hr. ago Also, please point out that you and your sister wanted the name Victoria to HONOR your grandmother. How exactly is it honoring your grandmother to provide you and your wife with fresh pain at every baby milestone? "Victoria's first birthday, you have to attend!"......log onto Facebook "OH look, Victoria's first lost tooth!"....."Victoria got engaged, so excited to see her walk down the aisle!".
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    Font - farclose954 16 hr. ago . Yes, and I was also thinking that it is not a good idea for Layla and Greg's daughter, it can have huge negative effects on the way people consider her because people will always think about Pam and OP's daughter. She deserves to be herself and to have her name, her own identity.
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    Font - -Warrior_Princess- 11 hr. ago Yeah if the parents themselves recycle the name, I think that's different. That's their own grief not others manipulating their grief.
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    Font - 00 Miserable_Emu5191 10 hr. ago My grandmother recycled a name. She lost a baby right after birth and then a few years later had another one and gave it the same name. It is a little weird.
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    Font - CaRiSsA504 15 hr. ago edited 13 hr. ago I | I just.... what train of thought would bring someone to "Oh no, my niece was stillborn." (pause) "Welp, guess i'm free to use grandma's name now!" How is the name more important than the stillborn baby?
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    Font - FromEden26. 14 hr. ago Right? It's like the sister saw it as a competition; saw the chance and grabbed it.
  • 17
    Font - HD FunkisHen 11 hr. ago I'm honestly shocked that she isn't grieving her niece? Especially being pregnant herself, I'd think it'd hit hard that her niece was stillborn. But apperently she just thought "Oh the name is free"?
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    Font - FunkisHen 9 hr. ago Ok, that I can understand. But to take the name seems just very callous. And something she might regret if she ever allows herself to grieve for her niece.
  • 19
    Font - OverzealousCactus 15 hr. ago This was my thought as well. A middle name honors the grandmother, and even the lost cousin if you'd like to present it that way. But this feels like a "finders keepers" grab. Yuck.
  • 20
    Font - Toki86 14 hr. ago NTA. I don't get why she didn't go the middle name route either. She would be honoring BOTH individuals in that way. As well as not bringing pain at the sight of seeing a "living" Victoria. I mean, wow...
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