20 Tips And Tricks From Fellow Cat Owners & Professionals On How To Get Your Scared Cat To Trust You

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Apr 24, 2023 10:00 AM EDT

Adopting an abused animal is always a long and tricky road. It's a long, and sometimes painful, process that requires a lot of patience and building of trust, slowly. This is especially true when it comes to adopting a foster cat. Cats can take a while to warm up to an owner, especially one that comes from a damaged home, and this Reddit author asked exactly this question, "How do I get my nervous foster cat to trust me?"

Luckily, the internet has come to their help and has given incredible advice on how to help this troubled owner and kitty. Mostly, patience, time, and treats! Others gave more unique advice like sitting in the same room, facing away from the hiding spot, others suggested playing classical music, and never underestimate the power of a slow blink! If you have a scared or nervous cat, this post is for you! We hope it helps!

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  • 01
    Font - How do I get my nervous foster cat to trust me?
    via u/ricardino98
  • 02
    Cat
    via u/ricardino98
  • 03
    Font - Toxic_Face-Ache 2 days ago With time and patience. 5.5k Reply Share
    via u/Toxic_Face-Ache

    Just like anything with cats, this too requires patience. Cats move at their own pace, especially when it comes to warming up to someone new. It's a cat's world, and we're just living in it! Don't let our cat know what we said that, please.

  • 04
    Font - between4and16 +2 1 day ago And treats. 2.6k Reply Share
    via u/between4and16

    This is true for cats, but it's also true for life. It's easier to catch a fly with honey than with vinegar, as they say. The same is true for cats, better to give them their space and offer them something sweet to help them learn to trust you. Who doesn't love treats?

  • 05
    Font - aurizon 1 day ago Leave water out 24/7, but hand feed. If she will not come - leave a little. Repeat, she will soon associate you and food = good. She looks like she has had some bad days... 41.3k Reply Share
    via u/aurizon
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    Font - boiledpenny 1 day ago One thing I say to anybody working with a nervous or feral cat is your movements need to be super slow imagine you're moving through Jello. Fast movements equal attack in their mind. So super slow super calm super chill. I can see by the curve that your Foster is hiding in the bathroom. Bring yourself a comfy cushion and a book or your phone spend calm relaxing time quietly in the same room with them. This will reassure them that being around you is calm and safe. Th
    via u/boiledpenny
  • 07
    Font - week or two. Savor those small moments but do not expect them to continue they have to go at their own pace when they feel safe. The easiest way I think of it is they've been through a war. They will trust nothing until their brain stops being at war with their surroundings. Let them heal be the safe calm quiet center that they wish to get closer to. Let them do it at their pace and when they come to you still be very slow calm and comforting. If they do lash out out of their own inter fe
    via u/boiledpenny
  • 08
    Font - leave them a food present. Since again they're very shy if you're able to bring in a box with a bed inside of it for them to feel very secure in the bathroom that would be helpful for them because cave equals security.
    via u/boiledpenny
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    Font - Bubblestheimplacable 1 day ago When I was working in a shelter, I'd start by sitting in the room, facing away from the favored hiding spot and talk or sing to the shy kitties. It gave them a chance to get used to my scent and the sound of my voice and they were at ease faster because they could approach and sniff my back without me trying to make eye contact or trying to touch them before they were ready.
    via u/Bubblestheimplacable
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    Font - Strato-Cruiser. 1 day ago Lots of patience. I think it's important to spend time doing things around your cat, but rarely if at all look at your cat. Eye contact means active observing, and your cat does not fully know or trust your intentions. When your cat can watch you, and your cat notices you're not actively, and often observing it, over time your cat will see your threat level low.
    via u/Strato-Cruiser
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    Font - As an example, I have some Eastern Screech owls living in my backyard. At first when I would go outside they would hide back in their nest box. I spent more time out there with them, when I noticed them looking at me, I made it a point to not make eye contact. This went on for several days of these owls just observing me. Now they see me as no threat through their observation. So much so that I am able to get one of the juveniles to land on a gloved hand of mine.
    via u/Strato-Cruiser
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    Font - Emotional-Speech645 1 day ago She looks like she's been abused by whoever had her before the shelter, so she may be incredibly slow to trust. Be patient. I found that I could befriend my landlady's adopted, prior abused, cat by simply existing in the same room. She's had him for years and he's never fully gotten over the trauma - we all suspect he has some sort of PTSD or even schizophrenia caused by either the abuse or the car accident which led to my landlady finding him in the first pl
    via u/Emotional-Speech645
  • 13
    Font - let him lurk in the corner. He evidently decided I was not a threat, and one morning I woke up to him cuddled into my side. He immediately moved once he realised I woke, but after that began tentatively sitting on my bed rather than hiding in the corner. Three years later, I - like everyone else - am still at risk of getting mauled if he's having a grumpy day, but I can plant little kisses on the top of his head, with him even leaning in for them sometimes, and he will happily haunt my ro
    via u/Emotional-Speech645
  • 14
    Font - He still occasionally takes a chomp at me through my sheets tho. But he's happy. Just do like that - let your cat see things are on her terms, exist nearby, and she will investigate at her own pace. Don't rush her - a severely abused cat may never become a lap cat or fond of cuddles. Let her decide what she likes.
    via u/Emotional-Speech645
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    Font - dressedandafraid edited 11 hr. ago +1 1 day ago • On its own time. Slow blink at them when you make eye contact to show them you trust them. Leave some clothes that you have worn so they get used to your scent don't try to pet them but do talk to them softly, offer treats, and let them come to you when you are hanging out also listen to their cues and body language and have hiding places for them to retreat if they get overstimulated, give them all the opportunity to come to you but also
    via u/dressedandafraid
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    Font - it's not your fault if they don't. Edit: As someone amazingly pointed out ignore the cat when you are in the space do your own thing read a book, scroll on your phone (nothing with intense sounds maybe reddit but not videos lol) so the cat knows they are not on the spotlight and your attention is not focused on them, also yawn and slow blink when they do cats love that so so much. Reply Share 1.6k
    via u/dressedandafraid
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    Font - Ragged Dawn +2. 1 day ago Never underestimate the power of the slow blink. Might I add giving them something to sleep on that smells like you so they get used to your smell as well.
    via u/RaggedDawn
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    Font - Fachel Rox22. 1 day ago Be patient. Just sit with her for a little bit at a time every day. Hold your hand out to invite her to sniff, but don't move to touch her until she touches you first. When she does let you pet her, be very slow and gentle. Leave out water and food. She'll come around when she realizes she's in a safe space
    via u/FachelRox22
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    Font - bumper022 1 day ago Get your favorite book and read out loud while sitting near him/her. Let them approach you on their own time. Took about 6 months for my rescue to finally come out, now I can't get a second of alone time when I am home.
    via u/bumper022
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    Font - Brilliant-Score1061 - 1 day ago Cats love Classical music at a low volume because they have very sensitive ears. IT helps to reduce their anxiety.
    via u/Brilliant-Score1061
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    Rectangle - Alternative-Income-5 +2. 1 day ago My cat took over a month under the couch....now she won't leave me alone
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    Font - legion_2k 1 day ago One thing I do is whistle a bit.. Just a woo woo and they associate that with the food and pets. I have strays that come running when I whistle. I've done it with most of the cats I've had in my life. It's really handy when you want them to come in or come eat.
    via u/legion_2k
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    Font - YaFace Godammit. 1 day ago Patience and perseverance
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  • 24
    Font - nuttnurse 1 day ago As everyone says love patience treats time, she's been traumatised and yes she's in a much better place but all these changes are very stressful for her she's gone from a bad situatation to this and it's a big change she won't immediately trust or accept you. Gentle talking no yelling or loud noises, sitting in room where she can approach or not as she prefers, giving her space a room she can be in that is free of being invaded etc. I'd suggest a feliway pheremone wall
    via u/nuttnurse
  • 25
    Font - immediately. Lots of gentle talking,love , treats, good experiences, lay on floor with her allow her to approach you have an extended arm she can approach and sniff etc. And lots and lots of patience it's a long haul with an abused cat to overcome the fear of humans but it's worth it. And the love and affection you will eventually get make it all worthwhile she may never be cuddly but you will both have an awesome relationship.
    via u/nuttnurse
  • 26
    Font - ricardino98 OP 21 hr. ago *UPDATE* Thank you so much for the overwhelming show of support and kindness! I will be playing her some relaxing classical music, getting some sachets of cat treats and introducing my scent to her with old clothes and blankets. I will of course also continue to give her space, let her come to me on her own terms and provide her with safe and warm spaces, food, drink and a clean litter box. She has a good appetite, so she has already had the first three doses of
    via u/ricardino98
  • 27
    Font - This is an interim fostering situation. My neighbour had a bad fall and ended up in hospital for a few days. My mum was going to feed his cat and realised just how unsanitary and unsafe it was for her. So, with his permission, I brought her to the vets. At the vets it became clear her condition was worse than we thought. She has fleas, other skin parasites and infections caused by these. The neighbours family has been in touch with the council to get his flat re-floored and fumigated, and
    via u/ricardino98
  • 28
    Font - Any support from SE London-based cat lovers is welcome. We need blankets more than anything, we are having to regularly dispose of her bedding as it becomes caked in her dead skin, fleas and parasites. We have also paid £165 out of pocket for her care so far. If you are interested in donating, let me know and we can set something up.
    via u/ricardino98

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adopt wholesome nervous cat tips adoption heartwarming scared help adopted advice tricks reddit thread trust Reddit Cats animals
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