'Kevin thinks he can speak every language in the world': Cringy dude believes he's 'impressing' foreign clients, embarrasses coworkers instead

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 3, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

We all have that one colleague who's a total show off. They like to claim that they were heading up a project, when actually they barely did any work on it. Or they try to schmooze with clients and C-suite employees, only to come off as arrogant and irritating. People like this exist everywhere, but not everyone is quite as confident in their abilities as this crazy Kevin! 

At least this guy didn't get away unscathed. The OP, u/UnlikelyAlternative, writes that after Kevin's big goof with some clients from abroad, his "delusions of linguistic grandeur" made him a laughing stock. He's never going to recover his credibility after something as stupid as that. 

Up next, check out these customers who thought they were extra smart… but they certainly couldn't outsmart the cashiers. 

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  • 01
    Table - 'Kevin... was convinced that he could speak every language in the world. He was always bragging'
    via Campaign Creators on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/StoriesAboutKevin Posted by u/UnlikelyAlternative Kevin thinks he can speak every language in the world M I used to work with a guy named Kevin who was convinced that he could speak every language in the world. He was always bragging about how he could converse with anyone in their native tongue, no matter where they were from.
    via u/UnlikelyAlternative
  • 03
    Font - One day, we were at a work event and a group of foreign colleagues came to visit. Kevin immediately jumped up and started speaking to them in what he claimed was their language. But the look of confusion on their faces told a different story.
    via u/UnlikelyAlternative
  • 04
    Font - It turned out that Kevin had just been speaking gibberish, mixing random words and sounds together in a bizarre attempt at speaking in their language. He had no idea what he was saying, but he was convinced that he was impressing them.
    via u/UnlikelyAlternative
  • 05
    Font - To make matters worse, Kevin started insisting that the foreigners were the ones who didn't understand their own language properly. He even tried to correct them on their pronunciation and grammar.
    via u/UnlikelyAlternative
  • 06
    Font - Needless to say, the rest of us were cringing and trying to distance ourselves from Kevin's embarrassing behavior. It was hard to believe that someone could be so clueless and yet so confident at the same time.
    via u/UnlikelyAlternative
  • 07
    Font - From then on, Kevin's delusions of linguistic grandeur became a running joke among our team. But we also learned to be more careful about taking him at his word when it came to anything else.
    via u/UnlikelyAlternative
  • 08
    Font - chefkimberly This has got to be the most Kevin story I have read so far.
    via u/chefkimberly
  • 09
    Font - Brianmobile Perhaps Kevin heard of speaking in tongues from some church or christian friend and thought it was a multilingual superpower to be tried in public.
    via u/Brianmobile
  • 10
    Font - SilentJoe1986 You used to work with Peter Griffin? 28 Reply Share Unlikely Alternative OP. Sure did, or at least someone who idolised him
    via u/SilentJoe1986
  • 11
    Font - WorsCaseScenario. For a moment I hoped that the Kevin was actually fluent in a few varieties of lingua franca. Oh well.
    via u/WorsCaseScenario
  • 12

    Who could forget that iconic "Friends" episode?

    Font - for lambsarecuteee Sounds like Joey Tribbiani lol
    via u/lambsarecuteee
  • 13

    Incredibly, another such Kevin also exists, as this person shared in their own story:

    Font - Tuss Hahaha! Reminds me of when we had a student exchange program at my school. One year the international students came to our country and the next year we went to one of their countries and so on. Well one of the kids was a German and him and his classmates has forever tainted how I see Germans.
    via u/Tuss
  • 14
    Font - It's one of the last days, me and my friend who knows German quite a bit sit and watches these babies at a mall because some one else had lost their wallet so everyone but us two and the two babies are looking. They start to talk s about us in German. We tell them that we can understand them and to shut the f up about us and that if they hadn't been acting like babies we wouldn't have to babysit them. It's their fault we were there in the first place. Then Kevin starts to introduce himsel
    via u/Tuss
  • 15
    Font - Now I've been studying Japanese for e years at that point and I knew introductory Chinese so I told him "Oh no. It's Chinese not Japanese." Kevin the doubles down saying "I learned it from the Simpsons! It's Japanese!" And he couldn't accept that a cartoon dubbed to German could be faulty.
    via u/Tuss
  • 16

    This seems to be common, too:

    Font - Lengthofawhile When I worked at a restaurant with a lot of hispanic/Mexican people there was a white dude who for some reason thought that talking to them in English but with a Spanish accent was accomplishing something.
    via u/Lengthofawhile

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Tags

languages wtf work stories coworkers foreign language funny weird kevin dumb
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