Women Sick of Dating Men Who Weaponize Their Incompetence Share Real Life Reasons Why They Changed Their Standards

If dating wasn't already hard enough, we have to put in the realization that men (and women!) have internalized misogyny. It's, honestly, not the fault of them, but the fault of society. We're raised with women getting toys like a baby, kitchen utensils to pretend cook for others, a toy vaccuum for goodness sake. And men are given toys that are made to simply entertain them, like toy cars, sports gear, and such. Yes, thank goodness, parents these days have been working hard to change that and with how Gen Z turned out and Gen Alpha is turning out, we'd say it's working. But for us millennials and other past generations, we have to work to undo this internalized misogyny. 

One horrid product of that internalization is something the internet is calling "weaponized incompetence." This is when a partner chooses not to do a task well or chooses not to even learn how to do a task well because they know the other partner will do it. For example, your partner never remembers when it's trash day, so you end up putting out the trash every time instead. The truth of the matter is that your partner is just not making an effort to remember trash day because they know you will do it. It's not usually malicious, but it is inconsiderate and can ultimately cause way bigger issues down the road in the relationship. Unfortunately, due to the internalize misogyny in many of us, the one usually weaponizing the incompetence (whether they know it or not) are the men in heterosexual relationships. 

Thankfully, women are realizing this and there is a recent Reddit thread in the subreddit r/AskWomen that proves it. Check it out below and maybe you'll have this enlightening epiphany yourself and chance how you date and form romantic relationships for the good!

Author image for Elna McHilderson Elna McHilderson
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relationship advice r-askwomen couples therapy relationships ask women feminism women-supporting-women weaponized-incompetence Reddit empowering women dating dating advice
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