A Thread of Delightfully Dumb Jokes From the Humor-Enjoyers of Reddit

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Jakesta42 7d 1 Award I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day Reply 3k ↓ ...
  • 02
    Rectangle - shelledtortoise • 7d I took the shell off my racing snail to make it go faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish. Reply ... 2.1k
  • 03
    Rectangle - PunkRockFat Beats • 7d 1 Award Someone found a hole in the nudist colony fence. Police are looking into it. ... Reply 7.6k ↓
  • 04
    Rectangle - Nackles • 7d Guy trying to get hired at a farm, and the farmer says "Have you ever shoed a horse?" The guy says "No, but once I told a donkey to fuck off." Reply ... 6.1k ↓
  • 05
    Font - Stigofthedumpings • 7d A man goes into the doctor and says "I think I have hearing problems" Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms? Man: Sure! Homers fat and Marge has blue hair. Reply 9.2k ↓
  • 06
    Font - Loud-Vacation-711 • 7d 2 fish in a tank one turns to the other and says "do you know how to drive this thing"? Reply 4.9k ↓
  • 07
    Font - DefinitionInner4325 • 7d Three construction workers have lunch together on top of a tall building. The first one opens his lunch box and goes "Another tuna sandwich? I eat tuna sandwich every day. If I have to eat another tuna sandwich I'm going to jump!". The second one opens his lunch box and also goes "Man, another turkey club sandwich. I can't stand it anymore. If it's the same tomorrow, I'll jump". The third worker opens his lunch box, sees a meatball sandwich, and like the others he
  • 08
    Font - sharrrper 7d ● 2 Awards My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Reply 20.1k
  • 09
    Font - kklewis18 7d Yesterday I couldn't figure out whether someone was waving at me or the person behind me. In other news, I lost my lifeguard job. (Not my original joke) Reply 4.5k ↓
  • 10
    Font - notacanuckskibum • 7d 31 Award 3 mathematicians "do you all want a beer?" First one says "I don't know" Second one says "i don't know" Third one says "yes" walk into a bar. The barman says ... Reply 3.3k
  • 11
    Rectangle - Clem_Crozier • 7d 2 Awards Man goes into a butchers. Asks: "What happened to your assistant?" Butcher replies: "Fired him." Man asks: "Why's that?" Butcher replies: "Because he was putting his dick in the bacon slicer." Man asks: "What did you do with the bacon slicer?" Butcher replies: "Fired her as well." Reply ... 11.4k ↓
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    Font - Dear-Interaction-210 7d ● ● What's a foot long and slippery? a slipper ... Reply 7.8k ↓
  • 13
    Rectangle - digitaltravelr. 7d 3 Awards What's the difference between an owl, a piano, and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish Reply 10.6k ↓ ...
  • 14
    Rectangle - N8_Arsenal87. 7d Bear walks into a bar and says "can I have a.…........ Coke?" Bartender says "what's with the big pause?" Bear says "I don't know, I was born with them." Reply ↑ 6.9k ↓ ...
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    Rectangle - SuggestionFlaky9337 . 7d 1 Award Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them? So that they can Scandinavian ... Reply 8.1k ↓
  • 16
    Font - parker72001 - 7d S 1 Award What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do. Reply 8.6k ↓
  • 17
    Rectangle - gajeeper1992 - 7d 2 Awards What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter. Reply 13.4k
  • 18
    Font - natejonesin. 7d A photon walks into a hotel and the concierge comes up and says, "May I take your bags sir?" The photon replies, "No, I'm traveling light." Reply ↑ 1.1k ↓
  • 19
    Font - TeeTownRaggie • 7d 3 Awards As Mickey and Minnie were before the judge in divorce court, the judge looked at Mickey and said, "Listen here, Mr. Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie." "But why not, Your Honor?" a stunned Mickey asked. "I have reviewed all the information you submitted to the court and I can find no evidence to support the allegation that she's crazy," explained the judge. "Your Honor," Mickey exclaimed, "I didn't say she was 'crazy', I said she was fucking Goofy
  • 20
    Rectangle - TheFlippingFurry • 7d 2 Awards A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks "how?" ... Reply 15.2k ↓
  • 21
    Rectangle - pee_diddy 7d ● 3 Awards A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here"? ... Reply 20.7k
  • 22
    Font - Nearby_Departure_119 • 7d How do you tell the gender of an ant? Throw it in water. If it sinks, it's girl ant, but if it floats... Reply 11.5k
  • 23
    Font - Mcshiggs 7d ● My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records, but then the librarian asked me to take it out and leave the building. ... Reply 5.1k ↓
  • 24
    Font - arent_we_sarcastic • 7d 1 Award This woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?" But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one. When she comes back for the funeral, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells

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