'My coworker [...] needs to grow up': Coworker keeps sleeping through meetings, asks for feedback, employee gives it to her straight

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jul 2, 2023 8:00 AM EDT

She asked for honesty, and honesty is what she received. Look, every employee has a quirk or habit that sets them apart, and people are usually forgiving of those quirks and habits as long as they don't negatively affect someone's experience or cause some sort of problem. However, when your "quirk" is that you constantly sleep through meetings, that certainly falls into the more problematic category.

 

In this scenario, which was posted to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit by u/No-Secret8400, the coworker didn't have a good reason for always being late. This was an entirely remote position, so it's not like she was commuting from afar. The hours weren't out of the question. She has a toddler, but she claims her husband handles daycare drop-off every morning (rookie mistake: if you have a kid, always blame your tardiness on them; that's what they're there for!). So she has no excuse, basically. 

 

After numerous warnings, the coworker turned to OP to ask for their take on everything. She was clearly hoping for OP to agree that their bosses were being a bit over-the-top about the whole lateness thing. However, OP decided to be fair, direct, and honest, much to the coworker's surprise. Personally, I would have tried to play it safe and would have just chosen to stay out of it, but I'm what people call "non-confrontational." Hats off to this employee for telling their coworker that she was, in fact, deserving of this reprimanding. 

 

Keep scrolling below for the full play-by-play. For more stories like this, here's one about a CEO who asked his employees to pay for his birthday.

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  • 01
    Computer - "Sorry all! I slept through my alarm again! lol!" 9 O fn ctri A V 7 2 x cmd 3
    via Compare Fibre
  • 02
    Font - AITA For Telling My Coworker She Needs To Grow Up Not the A-hole My (F37) coworker "Marie" (38F) asked me for advice after she got written up for always being late to meetings. She was upset and said she "really wanted my perspective". I said it professionally, but my advice was that she needed to grow up and start setting alarms and getting up on time. I told her her work quality is great...when she shows up.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 03
    Font - Marie is a sweet person but she's also the definition of weaponized incompetence. We're 100% remote, I have no idea how you can be late to a meeting in your own house. I only started with the company six months ago, she's been here three years.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 04
    Font - I've already gotten promoted and been given more duties. Marie is very immature and needs to be constantly reminded to meet deadlines, but when she actually produces work, it's high quality. You can't tell her anything at all like "I'm off on Thursday" becomes twisted into "I'm quitting" and then she spreads rumors. She has terrible boundaries and outed one of our coworkers by reverse googling their company headshot. It's a progressive company but that was their information to share or no
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 05
    Font - We work in the marketing and content writing department and management is making a lot of noise about moving to AI for a large volume of what we do. Marie is partly the reason. She and I are the only two writers on staff and I'm usually behind because she wasn't honest about missing deadlines so I pick up her slack.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 06
    Font - Our morning meeting times never change and the entire team is all in the same time zone. Our morning meeting starts at 9:45 am. She frequently sleeps through it, and then sends a chat "sorry all! I slept through my alarm again! lol!" She approaches it with an innocence like she doesn't realize it's not okay.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 07
    Font - She has a toddler, but has told us all that her husband handles her son in the morning and that he's in daycare by 8:30am. She's always sending us pictures in the work chat about being up late binge-watching entire 5 season shows, or that she fell down a reddit rabbit hole. I condensed some of this into "we all really enjoy working with you, but there are things you do like being late when we're remote, not communicating that you're behind and need help, and overstepping boundaries that p
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 08
    Font - She got very offended and said I was being 'Cand siding with our bosses and took the rest of the day off. The next day she reported our managers to HR for favoritism. They don't favor me, they just don't give me a because I show up on time. My bosses aren't mad but they did warn me that she's on her last strike.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 09
    Font - Maybe I shouldn't have given her an answer at all and just stayed out of it. 79 Comments + Award
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 10
    Font - Admirable_Scale_5075 3 days ago NTA. Don't want to hear the truth? Then don't ask for it... 860 Reply Share
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 11
    Font - Mobius_Stripping 3 days ago NTA, it sounds like you gave her balanced feedback, but do stay out of it now and leave it to your managers and HR to manage her out for her performance.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 12
    Font - It might serve you well to also objectively and neutrally document everything you've written about here, including the instances of when you covered for her, just to have in your back pocket. 645 Reply Share
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 13
    Font - EnergyThat1518 3 days ago ΝΤΑ. Though her response is predictable, as she clearly just wanted you to join in with her and say the 'bosses suck! You're amazing!' rather than like an actual review.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 14
    Font - She'll get fired sooner or later, it's not your problem. Also, stop picking up her slack. Do your own work, send her reminders at most, but do not agree to just do her work for her when she fails, that is enabling her to keep failing because she knows you'll do it in the end. 106 Reply Share
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 15
    Font - SonsofNavi 3 days ago NTA but she definitely is. Also you're not her boss but also remember you may be causing her to put a target on her back
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 16
    Font - Snoo1560. 3 days ago Certified Proctologi... NTA, but I think you've learned the best thing moving forward is to stay totally out of it.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 17
    Font - VictorOfArda. 3 days ago NTA. She asked for your input and you aren't wrong. Also, I know you mentioned that she was a sweet person, but everything you wrote after that seems to be the exact opposite of sweet. She seems incredibly toxic and manipulative with a pleasant veneer over top of it all. If I was in your place, I'd keep as far from her as possible.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 18
    Font - judgeeveryonesbiznes 3 days ago edited 3 days ago NTA- One thing I learned is don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to. She asked - you answered-she predictably got mad. Sounds like she is on her way out the door. Document everything and move on about your day.
    via u/No-Secret8400
  • 19
    Font - delicate-butterfly. 3 days ago NTA you even gave her the ol' compliment sandwich. But for your own sake, I definitely would just not answer her questions in the future that are like this. Keep things work related with her since she twists words.
    via u/No-Secret8400

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work from home remote aita workplace-stories employee fired work stories toxic-workplace coworkers i quit reddit thread Reddit quitting toxic-work-environment
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