High-Achieving Mom Names Her Kids 'Stanford' and 'Yale,' Is Too Stupid To Understand Why That's a Bad Idea

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 26, 2023 1:00 PM EDT

Growing up in a town where everybody expected their kid to attend an Ivy League school is a wild experience I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I don't think there's something inherently wrong with wanting your kid to succeed, but putting constant pressure on them to be the best usually does nothing more than make them nervous wrecks. I got pretty good grades in high school, but I was surrounded by kids who had a rigid idea of success. If they didn't get above a 95% on every assignment, they would freak out, and they did not seem to be having much fun. 

Putting pressure on your kid to attend an Ivy League school during their high school years is one thing, but grooming them to attend these schools from birth is even more damaging. One couple, both Ivy graduates, decided to name their twins after these iconic educational institutions, much to the dismay of the twin's uncle.

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/nfjs74839 19h AITA for not keeping my thoughts on my sister's ridiculous baby names (Stanford and Yale) to myself?
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  • 02
    Font - I'm the youngest of three siblings. There's me (34M), my sister Katie (35F), and my brother lan (38M).
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  • 03
    Font - Out of the three of us, Katie is the one who "made it" (her words). She attended Yale law school and is engaged to a neurosurgeon (Daniel) who attended Stanford medical school. Over the years, it's become clear that Katie looks down on me and lan because we aren't as ambitious/ successful/credentialed as she is. Katie has expressed her astonishment that the family business is profitable even though someone who got C's in high school and never went to college (aka me) has been running the
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  • 04
    Font - Katie and Daniel recently posted that Katie is pregnant with twin boys, and their names would be Stanford and Yale. I commented "Congratulations!" but later I texted her to say that it wasn't right to give the boys ridiculous names that would put them under immense pressure to succeed from a very young age. I also asked her about what would happen if one or both of them weren't as successful/perfect as she hoped.
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  • 05
    Font - Kate didn't like the points that I made. She texted back "I wasn't asking for opinions, especially from someone like you. Consider yourself uninvited from our wedding until you sincerely apologize." TBH, I was already leaning towards not attending due to Katie's condescending attitude towards me, but the "someone like you" comment sealed the deal. I told lan what happened, but he said that I should've kept my thoughts to myself.
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  • 06
    Rectangle - ΝΤΑ plfntoo • 19h Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] Parents should be steered away from giving their children highly bully-able names. Reply 15k 15k
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  • 07
    Font - lightningbug24 - 19h Asshole Enthusiast [7] I would have a HARD time forgiving my parents if they named Stanford or Yale omg. G 5.6k
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  • 08
    Font - Capital-Afternoon-22 . 17h Partassipant [2] This lady and her husband sound like name- dropping pretentious assholes. I'm sure the main reason for naming their kids that is so every time they introduce their kids to people they can say, "this is Stanford and Yale! You know, since my husband went to Stanford, and I went to Yale and we have such fond memories." 4309
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  • 09
    Font - CalamityClambake. 15h Certified Proctologist [29] It's actually a nice thing for her to do, because it would alert me that I need to exit that conversation and walk away from her. 124 ...
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  • 10
    Font - Key-Signature879 • 18h My friend M79 always gets it in the conversation that he graduated from Yale. It's a lot like being Vegan. 199
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  • 11
    Font - _ac3_Of_spad3s_ • 18h Partassipant [1] Plus those crushing expectations. "Youre bame is Yale because we know you can get in" "what do you mean they rejected you? What do you mean you want to learn a trade!?" 106
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  • 12
    Rectangle - Sea_Firefighter_4598 • 18h Partassipant [3] 5 Awards NTA. Ask her why the kids should be reminded on a daily basis that she didn't get into Harvard Law? Don't go the wedding she sounds insufferable. Reply 9.2k
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  • 13
    Rectangle - lava6574 16h Partassipant [1] "Hi I'm Yale and I go to Yale" is also ridiculous. 350
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  • 14
    Font - Prime-Number-52021 • 18h NTA. You brought this up in private (the way such things should be, especially when first broaching a subject like this), and, frankly, someone needs to tell her that kids are meant to be their own people. She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments, and I feel very, very bad for the kids. Given her attitude, I'm not surprised this didn't change anything, but good on you for trying. ... Reply 2.8k
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  • 15
    Font - nfjs74839 OP. 18h She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments Oh wow. You just expressed why I felt that it wasn't right for her to give her boys those names much better than I could have. 42.3k
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  • 16
    Font - Foo SusanMShwartz • 18h I am glad she has "made it" because she's going to need to pay for therapy when those kids are bullied. You do not turn your children into status symbols. Could she have triplets and name them Phi m, Beta and Kappa? .. Reply 1.5k
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  • 17
    Font - lightningbug24 - 19h Asshole Enthusiast [7] If the kids had already been born, I would say that you should keep your thoughts on the names to yourself. But, being pregnant myself, I understand that telling people the names you've picked out means that people are going to give their opinions. Family ESPSCIALLY because they will feel more free to share their opinions in most cases. NTA. Those names really are awful. I do agree that it would have been better to keep your tho hts to yourself,
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  • 18
    Font - trogladyte_colony. 16h As someone who has worked in schools with the current generation of kids, OP is absolutely NTA - kids can be so mean, and missing several years of 'normalcy' and regular socialization has made it worse. Even if they weren't outrageously bad names (really? Naming them after ivy leagues? I can get past like, the breydons and ainsleighs, but after colleges?), those two kids are going to get bullied so bad by classmates, other peers their age, and likely feel so much re
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  • 19
    Font - howimetyomama. 18h Partassipant [2] I feel like these names are gonna make it harder to get into a top tier school. Does Harvard want to admit a child called Yale? Does Stanford want to admit a child called Stanford? I went to an Ivy and I just don't get it. Reply 4520
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  • 20
    Font - gopickles 17h I had a friend named Emory who got into Emory, I don't think the schools particularly give a shit either way. But yeah weird names in combo 151 151
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  • 21
    Font - ribbons_undone 14h . Also Emory is like...an actual name. Lots of people have it. Not super common but it isnt like Harvard. Harvey would be a different story. 143
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Babies aita baby names crazy things parents say stanford parenting names Ivy League Yale reddit thread Reddit name Parenting Fail college harvard Parenting FAILS
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