'He promptly ghosted us': Wedding photographer steals deposit and ghosts couple, they cost him more than he took through loss of business

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jul 21, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

When you're working on a scheduled-gig basis, holding an often desirable slot for a client comes with a certain cost, and you're likely turning away other interested parties in order to honor the standing agreement; that's why these types of agreements, while not requiring full payment upfront in full, will often require a certain amount of the total price to be paid upfront as a non-refundable deposit. This protects the service provider from last-minute cancellations that could see them out a large chunk of income if they're unable to find another booking in time—that's why these deposits are non-refundable. You don't just get to cancel because of personal circumstances (no matter how tragic) and demand your money back; you agreed to the deal, so stop trying to change the terms of it retrospectively. 

Sure, you can ask for a refund if it's far enough in advance—maybe they can find another booking and refund you if they're feeling generous—but you need to be prepared to accept whatever answer they give, as the deposit was non-refundable. Where things begin to look bad for the photographer is when you realize that the date was still quite a long way off, so they presumably would have had plenty of time to reschedule a new gig Again, they don't have to refund the deposit, but it kind of sucks not to here.

To that extent, it's also understandable that the photographer might not want to reschedule for a different set of photos somewhere off in the ever-changing indefinite future. They didn't owe that to the original poster until they (apparently) agreed to it after the fact. But it is worth noting that several months had passed after the initial cancellation before the OP reached out asking for the engagement photos to be done instead—it was a done deal, basically gone and buried at this point. The photographer should have just said "No thanks" instead of saying "Ok" and ghosting them.

Anyways, that's my reasoning for why I'm more mixed on this post than the responders on Reddit seemed to be. Worth noting that, yes, given the fact that the entire issue stemmed from a cancer diagnosis and was handled well in advance of the agreed-upon date—the photographer's actions here are pretty crappy. Would I hire them? Probably not. But by the OP's own admission, everything was done to the terms of the contract… I guess this is why this is an act of petty revenge!

What are your thoughts on this? Let us know in the comments. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/PM_meyourgoodnews 4 hours ago Harmed a wedding photographer's business after they harmed me A couple years ago, I was planning my wedding and hired a photographer from a local wedding facebook group. After paying the deposit, we made plans to do engagement photos a few months down the line (I was planning over a year in advance so the timeline is a little different than standard). Maybe three months after, my fiancé
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 02
    Font - was diagnosed with cancer and the whole wedding was called off. I informed all of our vendors, and thankfully most were very kind and gave us most of our deposit back. The photographer was an entirely different story. Contractually speaking, they were in the clear (it was nonrefundable). They said they would "try" to get our travel fee back to us, but we were out the deposit. I obviously had larger concerns, so I
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 03
    Font - accepted his answer and moved on. After a couple months and my fiancé in treatment, I had some time to think and reached back out to the photographer to see if he could at least take our engagement pictures once my fiancé had his hair back, because at this point we had paid him about $1500 for nothing. He happily accepted and I said I would reach out again once fiancé was doing well and
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  • 04
    Font - up for pictures. I sent a text every now and again to keep the photographer updated, and about 6 months later we were ready for pictures. That is when he promptly ghosted us. I messaged him through his facebook business page, so I was able to see that he was viewing my messages and completely ignoring them.
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  • 05
    Font - F*ck this s; I am angry at the world and shall take it out on you. I had his number, business email, and Facebook page to work with. First I got him kicked out of the 30k plus member wedding facebook group. Then I left a factual review on his Facebook page and The Knot page. It remained front and center as it was his first review in like three years. I signed up his phone and email for all of the spam I could
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 06
    Font - find, including multiple religious newsletters. After a few months of monitoring his Facebook page to ensure my review stayed up, I discovered that he had to delete his whole page, remove his email, and cancel an upcoming photography event he had planned. Alas, if only instagram and his personal website allowed reviews. I would like to think my actions caused him $1500 in business losses :)
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  • 07
    Font - chatnoire89 +12 hr. ago Should have made a lengthy post on social media as well, stating his name and his business name, complete with receipt to completely destroy his reputation. If it can even go viral nationally, the better. He'll come back begging. 317 Reply Share ●●●
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 08
    Font - Subliminal84 2 hr. ago He had such a good opportunity to make a social media post about working with you and ultimately getting you the photos after all you've been through which would have given him a good amount of positive PR, instead he chose to be a dick 210 Reply Share
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  • 09
    Font - phyncke 3 hr. ago OK that's good. I hope your SO is doing better. 319 PM_meyourgoodnews OP 3 hr. ago · Reply Share Thank you! They are in remission now! 378 ●● Reply Share ●●●
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  • 10
    Font - Remarkable_Sea_1062 3 hr. ago Awesomely petty! 4 89 Reply Share
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  • 11
    Font - cjsphoto 1 hr. ago I'm a former wedding photographer. You probably cost him way more than just $1500, but more importantly, you may have saved many other people their money.
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  • 12
    Font - Photographers that are this comfortable ghosting someone that has paid money and knows you had an unfortunate situation will do it many more times. It doesn't matter if it was maliciously or due to anxiety, it's probably happened before and will again.
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  • 13
    Font - I saw all the posts in the negative, and I know many photographers would disagree, but you paid a lot of money and were a victim of circumstance, not a bridezilla or canceling for cold feet or even breaking the engagement. And you didn't cancel last minute. That $1500 can and should either hold a date or be transferred to portraits or something.
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 14
    Font - He took money well in advance, you cancelled the date with plenty of notice with a reasonable excuse, you asked to get work with said money paid, he agreed, and he disappeared on the day. Good for you, and I hope it teaches him a lesson. 70 Reply Share ●●●
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 15
    Font - thatStoneGuy92. 1 hr. ago Was there a contract signed? There's a big difference between deposits and retainers in the legal sense. You were likely due a specific amount back and the photographer had always planned on bailing after you canceled. This is why doing business with licensed photographers with contracts is best. It protects both the photographer and client.
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 16
    Font - Based on when this happened, you can take them to small claims court and get your money back. Letting this go just let's this person do it again to another client without thinking there are consequences actions. 15 for their Reply Share
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews
  • 17
    Font - PM_meyourgoodnews OP • 51 min. ago Now its been about a year; not sure there is anything I could do about it now. 42 Reply Share
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  • 18
    Font - Wild Replacement8213 2 hr. ago +1 • Good I hate theives. I'm am glad to read your SO is in remission! 26 Reply Share ●●●
    via u/PM_meyourgoodnews

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