'[Coworker] hasn't told him that he's leaving': Employee debates telling boss that coworker has found a new job

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Aug 17, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

A small-business employee is worried about what a coworker's sudden departure is going to mean for them. When you're on a small team, every absence is noticeable — someone's going to have to pick up the slack. But this guy wants to take things even further, by telling the boss what their coworker is planning. 

This person turned to r/AmItheA**hole before putting this plan into place. U/DPP_Toku is in an awkward position at their job. Their coworker, "G," is about to leave the company, but for some reason, this guy told the OP his plan, but didn't inform his boss. Or it's possible the OP is just assuming their coworker is leaving, they don't seem 100% sure about it. Still, the OP wants to know if they should loop their boss in on their coworker's future plans. 

Commenters resoundingly informed OP they'd be a big jerk if they took this issue to the boss. Either the boss doesn't know about the employee's departure, in which case, the OP will be caught in the middle of whatever conversation results from the boss finding out. Or, the boss already knows, and telling on the coworker will make OP look like a tattletale. It seems like for now, OP is stuck in a tricky position, but commenters are telling them it's best to keep their head down and mind their own business. 

After that, this employee also works at a small business, and is in the awkward position of being the only one who doesn't want to pitch in for the boss's birthday present.

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  • 01
    Green - 'I'm happy for him... However, I don't think he's told our boss'
    via Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - WIBTA If I tell my boss a coworker is quitting? A weird post but here goes. My coworker "G" is leaving the company to train at a new job starting in January. I'm happy for him, that's all cool. However, I don't think he's told our boss about it or even put in a two weeks notice yet. While he still technically has time to, here's my issue.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 03
    Font - The end of December is going to be ROUGH. Our department usually has about four day time workers and right now we have three including G. My boss is currently hiring for one extra person to replace someone that just left a few weeks ago and is vetting carefully. I know he has someone incoming already, but I brought up a second person and he looked at me like he didn't know what I was talking about, which leads me to believe that G hasn't told him that he's leaving.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 04
    Font - My boss is having surgery right after Christmas and will be out the week after, and G plans on not coming back after Christmas. This puts me and my other coworker in an unfortunate position that I'm not sure would pan out well. WIBTA if nudge my boss to look for another person and explain my concerns? I know it's not my place or business to bring that up but I'm also concerned about my workplace becoming he right after the holidays.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 05
    Font - MattTheSmithers A Aficionado [10] YTA. Not your business or your place to tell. Moreover, you are a self- defeating a in the sense that if the end of December is so hectic, you want your coworker to be there. What if your boss is like "G found a new job!? F G! G is fired!" I've had bosses who have fired coworkers for them putting their resume out into the world. Not all bosses take that info well. If your boss is one of those bosses, you're gonna make the end of December all the worse for
    via u/MattTheSmithers
  • 06
    Font - DPP_Toku OP That's the problem. He won't be there regardless because he asked off. That time wouldn't be approved regardless, and G has explicitly stated he's not coming in no matter. Since my boss is going to be out due to medical reasons.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 07
    Font - MattTheSmithers. A Ok, so if the result is going to be the Aficionad... same one way or another, this won't affect you. Its still not your place. What if the other job falls through? What if your coworker decides not to quit? It simply is not your place to give notice for someone else.
    via u/MattTheSmithers
  • 08
    Font - DPP_Toku OP. It hasn't fell through, he's literally going off for training. It's not just an interview. It WILL effect me because two people will be performing over 50 hours of work a piece during that time because we're a 24 hour department.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 09
    Font - Flying Dutch Lady Pooperintendant [53] I agree with everyone that YWBTA if you tell your boss that your coworker is planning to quit. It's not your place. It sounds like you assumed G had told your boss and were surprised to learn he hadn't, is that correct? If so, why not just say that to G? "I was talking to Jenny today about hiring and she seemed confused when I mentioned hiring two people. I started to get the feeling she doesn't know you're leaving. Is
    via u/FlyingDutchLady
  • 10
    Font - that true? When are you planning to tell her? To be honest with you, I'm concerned about what it will be like for the rest of us if someone isn't hired in time to cover for your absence." It's a reasonable question.
    via u/FlyingDutchLady
  • 11
    Smile - DPP_Toku OP This is a very well thought out response. I will try to bring this up to them.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 12
    Font - IChoose YouSnorlax. YTA (Or, would be if you did) It's not your place to tell your boss your coworker is leaving. You should remain silent about it. If anything, you could ask G when they plan on telling your boss, but more than that is overstepping.
    via u/IChooseYouSnorlax
  • 13
    Font - WholeESheep Pooperintendant [65] INFO - Why don't you tell coworker to tell your boss that he's going to be leaving? 5 Share DPP_Toku OP Because they don't have a great relationship and I think a lot of it has to do with spite. I just want my boss to have ample time to find a replacement.
    via u/WholeESheep
  • 14
    Font - genericname907 Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] YTA because it isn't your place to tell your boss, it is G's responsibility. I would encourage G to tell your boss sooner rather than later, but I don't think you should say anything to your boss unless he doesn't put in a 2 week notice. I think at that point, it's understandable that you would say something.
    via u/genericname907
  • 15
    Font - DPP_Toku OP I do agree. If my boss was well aware of him leaving already I would have no issues or think twice about it. The circumstances do have me fearful because I don't want my boss to stop the search early when someone else is about to dip, especially because we've been waiting on someone to replace another employee we lost for almost a month.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 16
    Font - RafaelSirah Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] YTA At least encourage G to tell your boss before ratting him/her out.
    via u/RafaelSirah
  • 17
    Font - Marinaisgo A YTA Aficionado [13] Everybody's already said it's not your place to tell your boss your coworker's business. I'll add that it's also not your place to save your boss or your company from a s storm of their own making. Of they're under staffed because they're bad at retention, that's a them problem. Unless you have equity in this business, this isn't your issue.
    via u/Marinaisgo
  • 18
    Font - leas DPP_Toku OP. We aren't bad at retention, really. I was the new person for two years until G came and only saw one person leave before that on good terms. A lot of people say it's not an issue for me because I'm not manager or own the business, but the issue lies in that someone is going to have to pick up the work in that gap, and it's me and my remaining coworker who already work 40 hours a week. I do fully agree it isn't my place to tell though.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 19
    Font - cleo42 Parta ipant [3] YTA. It's not your place to tell your boss and you boss/company's inability to staff appropriately is not and should not be on your coworker. Your only appropriate avenue I can see is to pressure your coworker to tell your boss asap. Also, I'd put some serious thought into why/if you want to stay at this company much longer. They seem a bit c
    via u/cleo42
  • 20
    Font - DPP_Toku OP I actually recently fought for a raise and I enjoy what I do and the people I work with. Were this any other time of the year I wouldn't be sweating it.
    via u/DPP_Toku
  • 21
    Font - War4282 Certified Proctologist [20] Nta If G had any respect for you at all he would put in a two weeks notice so someone new can get trained. If he wants to treat you like that, to h with honoring his opinion on this matter. He isn't just leaving the boss high and dry he his screwing everyone who works there. If you can't talk G into going to the boss, tell him you will do it instead. When this is all over, you still have to work there. You have to watch out for yourself.
    via u/War4282

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boss workplace-stories work stories hired work coworkers december new job leaving quit workplace coworker quitting
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