Man Tells Co-Worker to Ignore Her Husband's Insecurities During Business Trip

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for telling my co-worker that her husband's insecurities are not my concerns? Roughly a week ago, I (M37) was sent on a 3-day business trip with my co-worker (Ashley F35) across the country. Ashley and I are really good friends and work very closely; also, since it was our area of expertise, it made the most sense for our company to send us. Ashley's husband (Justin, M39) also works for the company. Long story short, Justin doesn't like me at all. Personally, I think he's a bit preju
  • 02
    Font - The business trip was both successful and fun. We finished most of our work obligations on the first 2 days of the trip, so we spent most of the third day having some fun and enjoying the city. Justin texted Ashley pretty often, asking what we were up to, which was a bit obnoxious. At some point, I asked her to respond less often, and that did get him to stop asking so many questions. Since we got back, Ashley has been telling me that Justin is acting strangely. Yesterday evening, he told
  • 03
    Font - Special Respond7372. 3h Pooperintendant [54] 1 Award I was going to say N T A until I read the part about how you asked her to text him less. That, IMO makes YTA. You knew he was uncomfortable to begin with, and that action escalated it.
  • 04
    Font - diagnosedwolf. 3h Supreme Court Just-ass [105] Why did you tell her to text him less?? What did Ashley's communication with her husband have to do with you? Of course it irritated him that you told her to stop talking to him! YTA for that. His communicating with his wife has nothing to do with you. You shouldn't interfere with conversations between spouses.
  • 05
    Font - KyotoDreams Tea . 3h ESH Yes you're right. The husband's insecurities are his own to deal with not yours. But you're not exactly helping when you're telling your co-worker to respond his calls less often. That's not your call to make and you are meddling in.
  • 06
    Font - Wandering_aimlessly9. 3h Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] ESH. You know you are crossing boundaries that make her husband uncomfortable and continue doing so because he annoys you. Meanwhile he is struggling with trusting his wife. Meanwhile his wife is listening to you and obeying you. "I told her to text him less and she listened" GET OUT OF THEIR MARRIAGE!!! You want Ashley and you can't have her. She's married.
  • 07
    Font - touchmyfoodidareyou. 3h Partassipant [4] YTA. "I felt annoyed that Justin seemingly wanted to exert some control over my life." And you can't imagine that he would be annoyed by you telling his wife not to respond as much? And she asks for your sympathy as a friend? Smells like Ashley is more than a friend to you, but you don't want to see it. EDIT: Since most of the people commenting including me are smelling affairs and stuff, I just wanted to add that the main question of this post see
  • 08
    Font - Ok_Cruiser 3h Partassipant [1] ● Your response is strange. You're not an asshole for working closely with someone but it is SUPER weird to tell a woman to respond less to her actual damn husband. Like if you're just her friend why the hell do you care what they're texting and chatting on a fun day off? That detail alone is 1) power tripping 2) why are you involving yourself when you supposedly don't want to be involved? 3) as a partner some rando at work telling them that would upset me a
  • 09
    Font - Repcheque 3h ● YTA - I think Justin is within his right to tell Ashley how he feels about your friendship, and most dudes would feel uncomfortable if their wife was texting and joking around with a single man (guessing you're single, correct me if I'm wrong). I don't see how bro telling his wife he feels uncomfortable with your friendship is him trying to control YOU specifically. Maybe you should be a bit more considerate as a man towards your colleague. It seems you lack respect for him
  • 10
    Font - spotH3D. 3h You asked her to respond to her husband less often? That's fucked up, and it is a little detail that makes me doubt everything you've said and your pure intentions. ESH (except the husband). She's bad in that why is she telling you all this business in her marriage. That's none of your business, and inappropriate. So you are both a bunch of assholes, and maybe the husband is insecure, but damn, I wonder why.
  • 11
    Font - oksoimherenowyay • 3h First of all why is she confiding so much in you? I would be upset too. Where there's smoke there's a fire. I know it's not your fault she's telling you all this but if he already feels insecure and suspects something, she should know better than to tell you anything.
  • 12
    Human body - Cultural-Stand-4354 3h ● Do you know that feeling when you know that a person is an asshole just from the way they write/ talk ? YTA
  • 13
    Font - Happycatlady1982. 3h YTA I was all with you until you said him messaging was annoying and you wanted her to stop replying, that is absolutely none of your business and you're acting like a jealous lover.
  • 14
    Font - Didntlikedefaultname . 3h Partassipant [1] ESH. It sounds like you and Ashley are either having or close to having an affair. At the very least things are inappropriate on all ends. Why would you tell her to text her husband less? How is that any concern of yours? Why would she tell you to be patient/sympathetic to her husband? You two never really need interact at all.
  • 15
    Font - felixwhat 3h Assuming your relationship with Ashley is entirely platonic then you've done nothing at all wrong, NTA. However, for some reason I get the feeling that you're more invested in her than you let on, otherwise why would his insecurities really bother you? This is a communication thing between them, and his insecurities are his to deal with and it's not your problem. It's also possible that Ashley has some feelings for you, and he can tell? Maybe that would explain but not necess
  • 16
    Font - wolfcat87 2h I was completely ready to be on your side until you said, "At some point, I asked her to respond less often, and that did get him to stop asking so many questions." YTA for that, completely in the wrong. That's hurting the situation not helping. If she listened, you two are definitely too close for comfort. That would make any spouse uncomfortable. Her husband's feelings on your relationship with his wife are clearly for a good reason. You decided to exert control over their
  • 17
    Font - Pesec1 • 3h Certified Proctologist [27] ESH. You crossed the boundary when you made unsolicited comment on what Ashley needed to tell her husband. Ashley is a bit of an asshole, too when she brought up issue of her husband's insecurities to you without proposing a solution on how to address them. Putting up with Justin's insecurities isn't something she should expect you to do. Obviously, Justin is a whole another level. Overall, this sounds like a garbage fire that belongs in a poorly wr
  • 18
    Font - Girl_In_Red Costume • 2h You're right, her marriage is none of your business, but it seems like you're getting involved in it. Telling her not to reply to her husband. (And she doing what you asked is nuts). Going out one on one when you know your presence is causing tension. Your whole atitude over this dude is weird, and it seems like you're doing things on purpose to irritate him/cause issues. If I were told a coworker's partner feels unconfortable for how close I am to their SO, I'd t
  • 19
    Font - MissSuzieSunshine . 3h Pooperintendant [68] Oh this is a tough one! On the one hand youre Not the AHole because this is just your colleague, there is nothing romantic between you and if her husband cant get a grip, thats not your problem. Apparently there is something going on between the two of you! So even in that respect, YTA!! On the other hand, you telling her to respond less often to her husband on your 'fun' day, makes YTA -- who are you to tell someone how to respond to their spou
  • 20
    Font - • 3h SpecialistAfter511 Asshole Aficionado [10] Not your problem but Ashley talking to you about her husbands conversations makes her a HUGE asshole. She's part of the problem in their relationship.
  • 21
    Font - emmiec1717. 3h ESH, she really shouldn't be gossiping about her own marriage issues with you at all, and you obviously feed into it. Also her texting habits to her partner really shouldnt concern less much bother you .no wonder her partner is concerned
  • 22
    Font - FARTSINAJAR69420 2h Partassipant [4] ESH Tell me you want to sleep with your married coworker without telling me you want to sleep with you married coworker. Wild that you told her to stop texting her husband. Wild that she isn't taking control of this situation either. The husband also needs to communicate what he wants more clearly as well. Your *friend* is clearly having issues in her marriage, and rather than try and help the situation you are actively telling her it's not your proble
  • 23
    Font - Unusual_Sundae8483. 3h Partassipant [3] Why do you care how often your coworker texts their spouse though? YTA
  • 24
    Font - Effective While5044 • 2h YTA, because your post reads like a competition. At work, you should focus on working instead of competing with your married co-worker for his wife.
  • 25
    Human body - A3 Suspicious_Ask5447. 3h Yta. She's going to get a divorce. You're not helping her.

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