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The Cringiest Parenting Texts & Posts of the Week (September 12, 2023)

The internet is cool and all, but man, I am so grateful that Facebook didn't exist while I was coming of age. If it had, my mom definitely would have been an active participant in one of those mommy Facebook groups. When my mom joined the local parent-teacher association when I was in elementary school, I probably saw her around school more often than some of my teachers. I know she was just trying to be an actively present parent, but sometimes it was pretty mortifying. But again, I feel lucky I never had one of those parents who constantly posts embarrassing photos of their kid on social media, or worse, sends insane text messages at all hours of the day for no apparent reason. Thankfully, there are subreddits like r/insaneparents and r/Sh*tMomGroupsSay that can teach us all exactly what not to do when it comes to parenting.

Posted by Mel Dawn
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  • 1
    Font - Aug 27. Still true.... Aug 27, 2011. shared a memory. My promise to my children: I am your parent first, your friend second. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, cares, & worries about you more than I do!

    "My mom embarrassing herself on FB, assuming everyone thinks the same way as her." —OP

    Via u/deorojeu
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  • 2
    Organism - 29 M Explain? Trying to burn down the house!? 1 Donly mom > O Don't ever bring something like that into my house ever it's going in the trash I burned it in the apartment bc it smelled so bad in there Not in the house 0 A iMessage

    "I thought my mom would stop searching my room after I went to college over a year ago. Nope." —u/Due-Text7442

    Via u/Due-Text7442
  • 3
    Font - Posting anonymously because I'm embarrassed to ask. This has caused a lot of debate and hoping you ladies can shed some clairity on the issue. My husband is sure he is right and is becoming very frustrated and mean to me over this disagreement. So backstory I had a rhinoplasty done BEFORE I got pregnant. I made a comment recently that I wonder who's nose the baby would get and I said hopefully mine. My husband has a big nose and mine is literally perfect. Well he is saying either way our
    Via u/-This-is-boring-
  • 4
    Terrestrial plant - M M O Ma #2 Sure Ma #2 hey can we also please not leave the backyard door open all day? we've been noticing more big roaches in the house A the dogs will definitely let you know when they want back in the house even if the door is closed lol BTW I like the door open sometimes. Always have left my door open when I've felt like it. thank you Text Message

    "She will literally be on the couch right next to the back door, and will leave it open from whenever she wakes up to whenever she sleeps. Oh and we live in Texas, and our AC is already wonky. After I sent the first text, she slammed the back door and was throwing things around too." —OP

    Via u/satvrndollz
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  • 5
    Font - This unschooling program is great. I checked school standards and the first grade books u can find in Super Target. Based on requirements of other schools, mine didn't even need book learning most of the time. He picked up most of the school knowledge he needed from his video games, YouTube videos and outside activities.
    Via u/MelancholyMember
  • 6
    Font - Ok Give me a moment ΜΑ give me a moment Am on the toilet JESUS MOM Read 8:42 PM

    "Whenever she thinks I'm out. I never go out unless I'm asked or with family…For context, she called me four times. Wish I remembered to screenshot that before posting" —OP

    Via u/Clos_ty
  • 7
    Hand - X Anonymous member Smoking Cigarettes while pregnant... has anyone smoked the whole pregnancy? Was everything okay? 34 42 answers
    Via u/Ariesss221
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  • 8

    "Some unprompted messages about my hair I got from my mom"

    Font - 3 M M M M MB 2 People > I want to make myself perfectly CLEAR to ALL residents of Beginning at 12:30 pm Sept 6, 2023!! I will not acknowledge nor speak to anyone who has allowed their personal hygiene to reach the depths of disregard and disrespect for oneself and others with allowing your mop of disgusting hair to reside as it does!!! It speaks volumes about you and your lack of self esteem to care enough about yourself to be presentable!!! Absolutely unprofessional on every level!!! It
    Via u/1morepotato
  • 9
    Font - 4 M M 4 Photos M 2 People > scheduled and executed and fing done!!! MB ir ing for a complex h jo) a hair salon where berience working ki eing said, barbers ca O k style for long hair. h ng scissors and razo ad precise cuts. Ap Pretty obvious. Absolutely no excuse for an unkept look that says to someone "they don't give a st about their appearance!!!" A Why give someone the chance to check that box with appearance both in clothing and grooming??? iMessage 0
    Via u/1morepotato
  • 10
    Font - M O Mom Today 3:46 PM Unhealthy nasty hair going into having a perm will be a shock to you to learn that much of the split end garbage needs to be cut off first!!!! You have done zero to maintain or manage it!!! It shows!!!! And without a stylist with any knowledge of experience with you many times leads to a very very bad outcome!!!!!! You'll pay the price! You'll see and you'll hate it!!! A iMessage 0
    Via u/1morepotato
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  • 11
    Font - M O Perms are very hard on your scalp and can fry even healthy hair! Many people experience hair loss from them!! Hope you have a very knowledgeable experienced person! If not you will regret it!! Guaranteed! Any curls will shorten length by minimum 3-4 inches!!! They are not the answer for receding hairline!!! I will guess your consult answered those questions!!! A iMessage 0
    Via u/1morepotato
  • 12
    Nose - |

    "A pic of the hair in question has been included at the end!" —OP

    Via u/1morepotato
  • 13
    Font - < 8:39 Good morning Me keep meaning to ask you are you continuing to homeschool My sons name Hello :) no, I am not homeschooling Son He started preschool this week. He loves going to school and being in that environment. It is really good for him and he always tells me how happy he is to go! Ok just wondered is it bible based ? No. Schools like that around here cost a lot of money. The teachers he has this year are awesome. They are so helpful, caring, kind, and inclusive. I plan on volun

    "My ex-MIL everyone…" —OP

    Via u/samanthagrey25
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  • 14
    Font - Well because likes to put things out on facebook but not really speak what's on her mind I will. The person she is referring to is me, her mother. She is upset because I told her sister. So one other person knows. I doubt that ruined the reveal. It is really nobody else's business. Sorry to have upset you yet again But so as not to ruin the rest of your reveal or upset you I will not be attending. I will drop my stuff off to you when you get out of work some morning. Funny how what someon

    "Original comment is my mom, reply is an old coworker. She swore up and down she wouldn't tell anyone and decided to admit to me the day before she told my sister. Not entirely sure she hasn't told anyone else either. She was never name dropped but didn't like the comments saying she was in the wrong. I had literally planned the reveal later in the day despite it being more inconvenient just so my sister could attend to find out with everyone." —OP

    Via u/yvkcm
  • 15
    Font - Happy 18th birthday to my favorite young woman!! You MADE it babe girl!!! Weve never hit a rebellious phase and you've clung to your innocence with pride. Hitting this milestone with honor, your purity, your innocence, a level head, plenty of class and so much to offer this world. Could you have made parenting ANY easier?? I honestly know you couldn't have and I really could have a million more just like you❤❤❤ (I might be working on it actually lol). Still living at home, Never done any
    Via u/Fearless_Tax_2491
  • 16
    Font - Raising you has been a privilege that im honored to have been trusted by God with and you've not disappointed me. That's a FACT. Safe travels young lady, enjoy your day and go out there & explore the world!! By the way, it's your birthday, but you weren't born until 11:57 PM so right now 18 years ago I myself was 18, & you were still just a literal pain in my butt. In fact labor began this time in the am on 8/11/04 & 1 was stuck on the toilet wondering why my stomach hurt. You weren't due
    Via u/Fearless_Tax_2491
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  • 17
    Smile - I'll see you when you get home tonight and THEN watch you officially turn 18 at 11:57 pm I LOVE YOU!!! & NICE BUTT 9 !!! 6 comments
    Via u/Fearless_Tax_2491
  • 18
    Font - 11 M Ma > Today 1:40 am Are you alright? You don't care about anyone but yourself. I'm blocking you soon and even if you send an uber meal I will not unblock. How can someone so uncaring as yourself ever make up for no Mother's Day and also no Father's Day. I don't understand - you should have already arranged to try and put things right. But it's not happening at all. I will see what you cdo in the next few days and then if nothing I am finishing with you. Did you spend Father's Day with
    Via u/historywept
  • 19
    Font - Things can always be done to try and make up for it, but you do nothing but worry about your new family. I wanted to tell you about the cat but you don't even care about that either. You make me very very sad and disappointed. Why am I even bothering? I even had something for you on Father's Day and we are supposed to be supporting each other at such a time as this. Anyway, because you have not been spending any time with me, I've almost finished documenting for the school how badly I hav
    Via u/historywept
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  • 20
    Font - (I'm almost finished). While I was having good times with you, and you were coming over, you see, it actually DID distract me from wanting to get it done. But now just two or three pages more and it will be done. They want me to tell them everything. You are going to lose me if you don't find a way of making up for Father's Day, etc (also two mongrels at that excuse for a school are probably going to lose their jobs) (the complaints will at least be on their records, for everyone to know
    Via u/historywept
  • 21
    Font - I am so hurt about everything and the disappointment about Father's Day etc that I am blocking you now. - PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY BY SENDING AN UBER MEAL, BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE UNBLOCKING YOU IF YOU DO THAT AT ALL, DEFINITELY. - (and I don't want my number given out to anyone, anyway - please respect this, thankyou). I don't believe that you want spend any time with me, at all. I have got to finish my complaint against the school, anyway. I might try to write to you, at the address
    Via u/historywept
  • 22
    Font - loss of my beloved number one stray and the fact that you haven't even tried to visit me to even attempt to console me in any way whatsoever. I cry all day and night over how you treat me. I will not unblock for an Uber meal, remember that. I have to block you now, to try to get over how you ignore your own mother. I am very distressed, but at least I will soon get justice with the school.

    "I receive a set of messages like this from my mother at least bi-weekly…I grew up without a father because he died when I was young, I'm fine about it but because of this I literally have no reason to keep track of Father's Day, so I didn't know…About the school, she's talking about my old high school which I graduated from two years ago, and some teachers briefly helped me with resources on moving out, every so often she threatens to take action against them but I'm not scared about it because I have no relation to that school anymore. With the Uber, when she sends these regular messages she blocks me afterwards to prove a point, and one time I was getting worried since it had been a while since I had heard from her, so I sent her an Uber from McDonalds as a way of making sure she's okay because I didn't know what else to do. I just want a mother who will love me with no guilt or strings attached." —OP

    Via u/historywept

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