Young Mom Refuses to Hang Out With Her Childless Friends Without Her Baby, Gets Upset When She's Excluded From Adult Events

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AmltheAsshole u/Top-Context3526 • 1d AITA for telling my friend her baby is the reason no one wants her around?
  • 02
    Human body - One of my (F24) friends, Anna (F24) had a baby around 6 months back. Our friendgroup is otherwise childless.
  • 03
    Font - All of us used to hang out a lot before the baby was born. Baby changed dynamics because Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her and its a baby. We tried to plan things around baby to include Anna but it always ended up badly. We shouldn't drink, cause Anna can't drink. We shouldn't be loud cause baby needs to sleep. Iceing on the cake is her baby is extremely fussy and cries all the time. It was just a downer for rest of us. So we started hanging out without Anna and her baby.
  • 04
    Font - Last weekend all of us went on a staycation. We had a great time and posted photos and videos on instagram. Anna saw these and called me to ask why I did not ask her to come with. I tried telling her it was a last minute plan and we could only find a childfree resort so as to not hurt her feelings. She called my bluff sending me pics some random family had posted with kids at the resort.
  • 05
    Font - She kept forcing me and I told her we did not want to hang out with her baby. She asked how can I say that about her baby. I asked her to leave it at that but she wouldn't. I finally told her its a baby and we are all young. We don't want to live our life around a baby she chose to have. That we get to do adult stuff and party all we wanted. Her baby is the only reason she wasn't invited. If she left baby at home she can come too.
  • 06
    Font - She got off at me and called me a AH. She also sent a text in group chat saying she is disappointed in all of us for excluding her just because she is a mom. Half of our friendgroup thinks I should not have told her the real reason and is mad at me. Other half thinks she is unreasonable. AITA for telling her the truth?
  • 07
    Font - From comments: we have tried to communicate to her about adults only events before. Other than openly saying don't come if you have to bring your baby. She refuses to leave baby with her boyfriend or babysitter. Even when we say an event is adults only, like a dinner we had a few weeks ago, she still brought her baby. Baby cried throughout the night earning us glares and we had to leave early.
  • 08
    Font - ed_lv. 1d Professor Emeritass [98] ΝΤΑ You tried to let her down easy, and she kept on asking. Her life is different, and she probably just needs to find a different set of friends, one that more closely aligns with her interests. ... Reply 12.7k
  • 09
    Font - stinstin555 • 1d Pooperintendant [63] Agreed. NTA. Here's the cold hard truth a baby changes your life. The things you used to do you can no longer do. Your friend misses her pre-baby life which is why she wants to be included in all of your hangouts.While this may be cool some of the time it is not cool all the time.
  • 10
    Font - Your friends lifestyle has now changed but her trying to force those changes on you?! Yea, NOPE. Your friends choice to have a baby has impacted her social life but she cannot and should not impose those changes on you. As a friend suggest she finds some Mommy groups. She will meet Moms that she can relate to in a way that you and your friend group cannot. Also if you all want to maintain the friendship perhaps have one baby friendly get together every month or every other month or perhap
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    Font - She chose to have a baby and that baby is now her responsibility. It is an unfair and entitled expectation that her friends need to tailor their behavior for her kid. Life does not work like that. ... 3.7k
  • 12
    Font - Big Bang 1d A ● cast [9] Her friend is being stubborn - she refuses to allow her boyfriend the father to care for his own child whilst she goes out and refuses a sitter. ... 2.1k
  • 13
    Font - Amazing_Star4299 • 1d Well guess she made that bed then. If she won't let dad or anyone else watch him then she can't really complain ... 1.2k
  • 14
    Font - 8inchSalvattore • 1d ... Enthusiast [7] Friend needs to be realistic. Having a kid was her decision, no one else's. And OP's life shouldn't have to stop. Friend should have considered the consequences sooner. NTA. 607
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    Font - Amazing_Star4299 • 1d She just need to loosen up and trust the dad more. Even if the kids breastfed, you can probably get him on a bottle of the pumped stuff with a bit of work - then take what I'm sure is a well earned break. She can still realistically have a bit of a social life, just requires a lot of teamwork and a bit of give and take in the early years ↑ 327
  • 16
    Font - Danmch2992 - 1d Yeah I'm starting to realise this might be why my wife lost her friends, she always wanted to take my daughter out with her to see her friends. I guess they didn't always want a baby around so they just stopped talking to her. Though it would have been nice if they could have tried speaking to her like OP did with her friend. 4120 ↓
  • 17
    Font - thoughtand prayer • 23h Though it would have been nice if they could have tried speaking to her like OP did with her friend. If it only just occurred to you that her always bringing the baby might be a problem, and if she never thought to check if doing so was okay (demonstrating a significant lack of social awareness), why assume the friends never brought it up?
  • 18
    Font - Chances are, they politely tried to dissuade her. But given how much adoration your wife felt for her baby, she likely either (a) lacked the awareness to realize they were serious or (b) dismissed those concerns because she couldn't understand anyone not wanting her child around and assumed they could deal. This seems more likely than several friends all turning their back on her without any attempt to address the issue first. 4 155 + ...
  • 19
    Font - CatchMelf You Can09 1d ● I have 2...l get it... And no they don't go with me; actually I have both registered at 4 different dropin daycare around my city so if one is at capacity I can drop em off at another for last min plans. And I always ask "kid friendly" No? OK cool, can't get a sitter tonight ill see ya'll at the next event. ΝΤΑ Reply 1.2k
  • 20
    Font - Ok-Profession-9372 1d Partassipant [3] NTA. Doesn't sound like you were cruel about it. You are early 20s friends who want to go out, have some drinks and generally be in adult environments. You shouldn't be expected to revolve your whole social life around Anna's needs as a mother. Would be nice to occasionally do some stuff with her and the baby. And perhaps when the baby gets older, Anna can get a sitter and come out with you. You were right to tell her the truth. Reply 4474 ↓
  • 21
    Font - Mother_Tradition_774 . 1d Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] ESH. Why don't people talk to each other anymore? The same way she called to confront you about being excluded from the staycation, you and your friends could have called her to tell her she was messing up the vibe of your group hangouts by bringing her baby all the time. There's nothing wrong with wanting child free time with your friends but pulling passive aggressive stuff like this is wrong. With that said, Amy shouldn't have brought

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