'$1 for a muffin after I hosted her for three nights': Infuriating friend sends $1 payment request to their disgruntled host

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 4, 2023 9:00 AM EDT

Common sense and simple etiquette dictate whether or not you're a good guest in someone's home. Presumably, you'd like the experience to be an enjoyable and mutually beneficial one that strengthens your relationship, ensuring that you'll be invited back. Rather than, you know, them feeling like you've taken advantage of their hospitality purely as a means of reducing your own expenses. 

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  • Yet, some people's entitlement knows no bounds, and they see situations only as they benefit themselves. Take, for example, this friend who came to stay with their friend for three days, during which period the hosting friend drove them around the city, offering them food at their place, and generally just offered a significant amount of their own resources to make sure their friend had a good time. During the stay, the friend bought some discounted muffins on the way to a hike and offered the host one, later sending them a $1 payment request.

    Frustrated, the host took to this popular Reddit community to share their experience and vent about their friend's attitude where their friend's behavior was admonished by readers in the comments. See their original account of events below as it was shared with this popular community.

  • 01
    Food
    via LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR
  • 02
    Font - Posted by u/FixConstant8266 My friend Venmo requested me $1 for a muffin after I hosted her for 3 nights I hosted a couple of my friends from out of town for 3 nights. Showed them around the city, offered breakfast, snacks, drinks, and drove them around. Throughout the weekend Friend 1 paid for a few things. She bought me a soda. On our way to a hike, she bought some discount muffins. She covered the $5 day use fee for the hike. I thought this was all to be a nice and helpful guest.
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 03
    Font - When she left, she asked if I had Splitwise (an app that keeps a running total of expenses). I did owe her money for dinner we agreed to split, but I was confused why she would need me on Splitwise. I download the app, get added to the group, and suddenly I get a Venmo request for the soda, muffins, and day use fee (I owe about $6 for those 3 things). This is after I hosted her and was very generous with my time, home and food. I drove my car 2 hours round trip on a rough gravel road to t
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 04
    Font - money. I packed my own food to make a nice picnic. Charging me for crappy cheap grocery store muffins and a soda just feels like a slap in my face. The muffins were literally $3 total. She has a good job, it's not an issue of whether or not she can afford it. She spent the whole weekend talking about her recent promotion, cheap rent, free flights, etc etc.... Now I see why she saves so much money.... I am mildly infuriated to say the least.
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 05
    Font - UPDATE: Like I said in the comments, I added my expenses to Splitwise and ignored the venmo request. I have not gotten a response. To the people who are saying it's passive aggressive. It's 100% passive aggressive, but I'm doing exactly what she did, I added my expenses to the dollar. So in theory she can't really complain about it because she added me to this app. Also, I agree making a big deal over $6 is a bit ridiculous. But this is "mildly infuriating" and I think requesting $6 as a
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 06
    Font - UPDATE/Edit 2: yes I know it's paid and not payed lol, it's been a long week. Fixed. And no response still UPDATE 3: thanks for all the responses!!! I want to clarify a few things. Some people think her intention was for me to also add my expenses to Splitwise. I do not think this was the case because she "closed out" the splitwise and sent me a Venmo request before I added any expenses to Splitwise. She would have waited to take it to Venmo if she thought/cared/realized I had expenses. S
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 07
    Font - 19ChinoWRX I would request back money for everything you had spent on her. 2.4k Reply Share ArmenApricot Yup. I'd be petty as hand turn around and ask for lodging fees, gas money, food money for every meal I served them at my home, everything. Or, she can pay for the bits and pieces that were not previously discussed like the dinner OP acknowledges they were
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 08
    Font - already planning to pay for. I can't imagine being so nit picky as a guest when staying for free at someone else's home. In fact when I stay with friends, I make sure and go the opposite and if we go out to eat or whatever, I pay for at minimum one meal and one activity to show my gratitude. If it's big fancy meals or major expense events (concerts, amusement parks, etc) those fees are discussed ahead of time of who's paying for what. Reply Share 365
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 09
    Font - SirSamuelVimes83 · 6 hr. ago Cook a group meal, stock the fridge for a BBQ, get up early and clean the kitchen/common areas, buy drinks if you go out. Things like this are the minimum if you're crashing somewhere, if not offering to throw some cash down for staying. 108 Reply Share mmmmpisghetti. 3 hr. ago I don't cook. When I visit I take people out to eat, buy groceries and leave cash. That's how you have places to stay... 52 Reply Share ...
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 10
    Font - Sak Shady Vermin Use her splitwise app to total up everything you spent on her and then send her a request back, see what happens. She sounds like an exhausting person to be around, so at least you know not to waste your time on her anymore. Edited my typo cause I've got drunk thumbs apparently 1.5k Reply Share FixConstant8266 OP This is what I did. I ignored her Venmo and added all my expenses in the splitwise app. Gas, food, laundromat for sheets and towels. I'll just let her deal with
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 11
    Font - nigeljoey6 Decline the Venmo and ask her to take out the $ she owes you for gas, etc. 5.0k bumblebeemath Venmo request her $200 for her stay at your place. 2.4k Reply Share 1.4k Reply Share ●●● Stop-Stalking-Me1111. Oh and don't forget the $250/daily cleaning fee. Reply Share
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 12
    Font - Zordekaiser That's the best money you've ever spent finding out who your friends really are. Reply Share 501 dilla_zilla This is the correct answer. Not sending something back. Pay the $6 and never invite them again. 99 Reply Share
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 13
    Font - SaskTravelbug I stayed at a friends house for 2 nights. She saved me about 1,000 bucks in total. I cleaned her house and paid for everything we did outside the house. I even Made her breakfast. 111 Reply Share iamatotalfuckwad Yep this is the way! 14 Reply Share
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 14
    Font - fishinglife777 I guess protocol is a thing of the past but the general rule was that since the host is supplying so much, the guests should at least take the hosts out to dinner and / or give them a host gift. Reply Share from 222 jeanpaulmars Just like if you loan your friends car, you either return it with more fuel, or cleanly washed, preferably both. 96 Reply Share
    via u/FixConstant8266
  • 15
    Font - StardustStuffing I've known people like this. They're so cheap and selfish that they only think others take from them and never realize or acknowledge that they also take from others. It's wild. Dump your friend and count your stars they're out of your life. 78 Reply Share
    via u/FixConstant8266

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friendship friendship drama drama friends relationship-drama reddit story etiquette reddit thread
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