'It calls for sage, not sausage': 20 Bakers who got too inventive with their recipe substitutions and ruined their own meals

Have you ever wanted to bake a carrot cake, but you don't have any carrots on hand? One person replied to a carrot cake recipe writing that she'd given kale a try instead. Do you want to guess the results? I'll tell you: it did not taste good. 

Recipe substitutions are understandable. Sometimes you're halfway through the dish, and you realize that eggs or olive oil aren't in your house. You went to the store, and the ingredients just slipped your mind. And now, you're covered in flour and the oven is preheated, so what else are you to do except frantically google substitutions? 

I've tried many a substitution myself, and after quite some time of doing that, I've realized it's almost never worth it. You can't always sub almond milk for regular milk or flaxseed for eggs. It's just not going to taste the same. The one substitution that does work for baked goods is using bananas instead of eggs… but don't test your luck with any other subs. 

These people left a variety of very funny one star reviews underneath some recipes online. Some folks were utterly confused about the meal they were making, while others ranted about adding or omitting weird ingredients. There's a common issue, though: all of these people did not follow the recipe. That's literally what it's there for! 

Check them all out below. Then, check out these things that Gen Xers think make their generation stand out from the rest. 

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Author image for Remy Millisky Remy Millisky
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    Cheezburger Image 9833203200
    via Massimo Adami on Unsplash
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    "I don't recommend using cheese in the brownie recipe"

    YUWANA says Hi Jessica, just curios, could I change the coconut with shredded cheddar cheese? Will it works flavor-wise? And do I need to change composition of other ingredients? Thanks a lot. Reply Jessica Holmes says Hi Yuwana, no I don't recommend using cheese in this brownie recipe. I hope you enjoy them!
    via u/Brandonitis
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    Kirsten Klang We used Pepsi so I'm not sure if that was why it was a bit too sweet but I think we will use regular soy sauce next time if I don't have a Coke. REPLY Beth Pierce There isn't any Coke or Pepsi in this recipe. REPLY
    via u/abbattoirnoises
  • 04

    No Sharon, don't use mayonnaise!

    SHARON SMITH says: January 27, 2022 Very good Icing I just didn't realise that I couldn't substitute the heavy cream for mayonnaise and I was just devastated when I tried it. Maybe mention that next time but other than that it was delicious.
    via u/[deleted]
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  • 05

    A Thanksgiving stuffing recipe left this person unhappy

    mamaleenda Sorry but I tried this and it was awful. It was dry and the flavor, even if it wasn't dry, was not good. A lot of the flavor issue could have been attributable to the sausage I chose - I did use Italian sausage - and didn't vary from the recipe. It was disappointing - hardly anyone (group of about 17 tried it and I ended up dumping about 7/8 of the pan. I wanted to try to salvage but knew I was kidding myself about anyone eating the leftovers. Sorry! Just being honest. Reply 16 Daddy-
    via u/Jordayumm
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    This is a peach ice cream recipe, Jessica

    Jessica July 20, 2023 at 7:00 pm I don't like peaches so I substituted carrots. It wasn't very good. It needs more sweetness REPLY
    via u/reckonedstormlight
  • 07

    Apple cider and apple cider vinegar are the same thing, right?

    Bea This did NOT taste like mulled wine cider. I tried to make this for 2X servings with every single ingredient. There was WAYYY TOO MUCH VINEGAR. I had acid reflux after drinking it and had to find a way to neutralize the taste because 4 cups of apple cider vinegar to 2 bottles of wine was absurd. All the other mulled wine recipes did not include apple cider vinegar. I don't know where I went wrong. REPLY Erin Clarke Bea, the problem is that recipe calls for apple cider, NOT apple cider vinega
    via u/ohhiiiiiiiiii
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  • 08

    A self-proclaimed "bad cook" tried to make hot caramel with a plastic utensil

    A bad cook 5 years ago I don't blame the recipe for what happened. I should have stopped after dropping the eggs or after spilling half a bag of sugar. But yet. Things got really bad when making the caramel. I was using a cheap spoon made of cheap plastic. I didn't realize it was melting, because the caramel would stick to the spoon and distort the spoon. The melted plastic sort of mixed with the caramel before cementing to the pot. I owe my housemate a new pot. My tip: use a heat resistant spoo
    via u/ButchTheDoggo
  • 09

    Andrew didn't make a fish pie, but he still wanted to be a part of the recipe discussion

    Andrew Allen I highly recommend this recipe. For this I replaced the mash with pastry. With the filling a little salty I added chicken and mushroom and removed the fish mix and prawns. 1 | Reply arthursmummy → Andrew Allen So you made a chicken and mushroom pie with pastry, instead of a fish pie with mashed potatoes?! It just amuses me that you've highly recommended this recipe after making something completely different! ;)
    via u/AvocadosAtLaw95

    His version sounds pretty good, actually.

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    Helpful (2) I noticed there were NO eggs in this recipe, so I added one. What a disappointment. The edges were baked and the middle was complete mush...even after I put it back in the oven for 40 minutes!
    via u/Banana_Skirt
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  • 11

    ChaosAE is more of a poet than a chef

    ChaosAE 16.7K 24 $ I didn't have potatoes, so I substituted rice. Didn't have paprika, so I used another spice. 23h I didn't have tomato sauce, so I used tomato paste. A whole can not a half can - I don't believe in waste. My friend gave me the recipe - she said you couldn't beat it. There must be something wrong with her, I couldn't even eat it.
    via u/safadancer
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    Jaclyn had to explain to Lucy why there was so much PB in the recipe

    lucy 1/1000 I would give this rating if I could! I don't know how this is supposed to be a chocolate- chip cookie recipe, it doesn't say when to add chocolate chips and how many chips to add. And since when do chocolate-chips cookies have peanut butter!!? JULY 24, 2023. REPLY Jaclyn This isn't a chocolate chip cookie recipe. This is a peanut butter cookie recipe. JULY 24, 2023 • REPLY
    via u/Kcjaybk
  • 13

    Lemon pound cake recipe is too sour and dense? Noreen just doesn't know what she signed up for.

    This came out terrible, it was dense, not fully baked, and had a sour taste to it. So disappointed - NOREEN ON JUNE 12, 2021 REPLY
    via u/smartel84
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  • 14

    Crissyboo86 decided to make carrot cake, but...

    Crissyboo86 Carrots have waaaaaay to much sugar so replaced them with shredded kale. Cake turned out rather nasty so two stars. Unsure what went wrong but its to dry also. Helpful (0) Report Reply Hide Replies Betty Crocker Brand Response We'd definitely recommend preparing this recipe as written, as the carrots provide much needed texture and moisture. Helpful (0) Report Reply
    via u/Whitershadeofforever
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    Four people found this helpful

    Kathi haven't tried Read More Helpful (4)
    via u/mdawgig
  • 16

    She's like, the exact opposite of Kathi (above)

    Susan Claire 06/20/2021 I have quite a few recipes for vanilla pudding, but this one just took the number one spot. Not too sweet, smooth buttery consistency, nice vanilla finish. I did not follow the directions.
    via u/gurzak

    Thanks for sharing, Susan.

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  • 17

    Moira really wanted to make an egg custard tart. Guess which ingredient she omitted?

    MOIRA ROSE-VALANTINE hi x this didn't work me me and my husband are non gmo gluten free vegans and cannot use egg so I substituted this for massed banana and it just would not set I followed all of the instructions so I think it may be my oven unfortunately that cannot maintain temp and in the end it was really runny and tasted quite bitter so not sure what happened but I won't be trying this again im sorry what a waste. -6 SARAH AUTHOR REPLY Hi Moira, an extreme substitution like using mashed b
    via u/peachysana
  • 18

    "Others seem to have figured it out without issue"

    You didn't specify cooked or uncooked rice. So I used cooked rice and of course it turned out way too watery to eat. So I wasted 6 cups of milk because your recipe was unclear. Thanks a lot. Less KIMICA Z. REPLY Step 3 tells you to cook the rice until it's tender - this is a pretty big clue. Cooked rice is already tender. Others seem to have figured it out without issue. DUONYTE ...
    via u/CaliSunSuccs
  • 19

    I enjoy when the authors don't mind being a little sassy or straightforward

    REPLY Rae says applesauce, yummy, but the texture is just so wrong, not muffin like at all. What did I do wrong? I definitely did not overmix and was very careful when combining. Any advise please? I made this but instead of milk i used REPLY She Likes Food says I'm guessing it's probably because you subbed applesauce for milk. There probably wasn't enough liquid to make them muffin like.
    via u/[deleted]
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  • 20

    Reply to a "homemade peach cake" recipe:

    Ingrid 3 months ago I was in a hurry so used a cake mix instead. Used fresh sliced strawberries, and it turned out wonderful! Thank you for such an easy but elegant recipe!
    via u/Jk_381122
  • 21

    Are caramel apples paleo?

    NINA PALKOVICS SAYS Can you make this recipe Paleo friendly? Reply JENNIFER SAYS To make this recipe Paleo friendly, you would have to remove the caramel and candy toppings and just eat the apples plain. Reply
    via u/BiggestCheesecake

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