Parents pressure 32-year-old daughter to fix the rift between her 36-year-old estranged identical twin sisters: 'They said I'm the person who could bring them together'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 13, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Parents have many good reasons for trying to maintain peace between their kids. They don't want to live in a house where everyone is constantly fighting, and if their kids don't get along, that's where they'll be living. There's only so much you can do to make your kids get along. You cannot force kids to get along, so it's best to pick your battles when disciplining your feuding offspring. It isn't right to punish an older brother for not wanting his younger sister to hang out with him at a sleepover solely attended by middle school boys. But if he's calling her names and getting physical, parental intervention is necessary. 

It's common for siblings who didn't get along in their youth to grow up and turn over a new leaf. It's just as common for siblings foes to never get over their beef because they're not a personality match, and no amount of growing up will change that. Nobody has a moral obligation to have a close relationship with anybody, including their parents and siblings. Still, it's understandable for parents to want their kids to get along.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10541660928
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The parents in this story are going about reconnecting their kids in the wrong way. Their youngest daughter is the only person in their family who has a good relationship with everybody, including her feuding twin sisters. Her parents believe she's the one who can help them reconcile once and for all, but she and her sisters know it's impossible.

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    AITA for telling my parents it's time they accept my (identical twin) sisters will never be close and to stop expecting me to be a magic fix it?

    I (32f) have 36 year old identical twin sisters. I'm close with each of them individually but they do not like each other and they do not speak today. They were never close and this has not changed with growing up. Until they were 12 they were a little more willing to be around each other, it was
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
  • 03
    just never their preference. But as they have grown they have become far more hostile to each other and once they left for college they went no contact. The only time they have seen each other since was at my wedding and they did not speak one word to each other.
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
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    Woman wearing wedding gown white holding bouquet
    via Petr Ovralov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    My parents always had an extra hard time with this because my sisters are identical twins and in their world it means they had to get along. They cannot figure out why they would be so opposed to each other and they said the fact
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
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    both are close to me is another shock because identical twins are typically the closest of siblings and other siblings would feel left out. But that was never the case with us.
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
  • 07
    My parents have tried numerous times to bring them together and when my sisters started having kids with their husbands my parents took it upon themselves to try and set up times for us all to be together as a family so their kids would know each other. But my sisters said no. They told our parents they would pull away if they didn't let it go.
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
  • 08
    My parents wanted me to do something. They said I'm the person who could bring them together and I shut it down hard. But they never gave up on the idea that I would magically bring them together. A few times I even said they see me as a magic fix it and not a sister who can't control other adults who are actually older than her.
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
  • 09
    A few weeks ago my parents pushed one sister so far she won't talk to them now so I took the time to say to my parents that they need to find a way to accept it and let go of this need to make them close. I said my sisters will never be close, it needs to be accepted because they lost one daughter over it already. And
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
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    then I said they should stop expecting me to be the magical fix it for them. I said I cannot control what two grown women do and at no point have I been the unifying factor for them. My parents said I won't understand if my kids never hate each other like they do. But everyone wants their kids to be close and especially their twins.
    via u/Emotional_Gold_3527
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    A man and a woman embracing each other
    via Polina Kuzovkova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    WomanInQuestion Perhaps your parents need for them to be identical their whole lives is what pushed them to hate each other?
    via u/WomanInQuestion
  • 13
    Dragon_Queen_666 That was my immediate thought too.
    via u/Dragon_Queen_666
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    Infinite Welder513 I'm guessing the reason they hate each other so much is that there parents treated them as one person rather than two separate individuals and it turned them against each other
    via u/InfiniteWelder513
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    annebonnell NTA your parents need to stop. Your parents may even be the reason your sister's hate each other. Did they dress them alike when they were children? Being an identical twin does not make you identical mentally.
    via u/annebonnell
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    HovercraftDue7823 I agree. I knew identical twins, one was the happiest, sweetest person you could ever meet. The other? Let's just say, not so much. They were dressed in the same clothing, had to do the same activities etc. Even as teenagers they were not close. I believe it's because they were forced to be "identical".
    via u/HovercraftDue7823
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    Maleficent_Draft_564 NTAH. Whatever issues your sisters have with each other is not your responsibility to fix. Your parents really need to learn to live with their daughters not getting along and being in each other's lives.
    via u/Maleficent_Draft_564
  • 18
    Beneficial-Bed3963 NTA. Your parents have unrealistic expectations for everyone, especially you.
    via u/Beneficial-Bed3963
  • 19
    VegetableBusiness897 Sorry but your post gave me a chuckle. We don't have anything to do with each other and haven't since grade school, but we are reasonably cordial. We all talk to our parents who are devastated that we aren't holding hands around the campfire and singing kumbaya. Thing is... My parents don't get along with their own siblings... And never have.
    via u/VegetableBusiness897
  • 20
    Dragon Queen_666 NTA. Your parents need to decide if they're willing to accept that their daughters don't get along or they might find that they don't have any contact with any of their grandkids.
    via u/Dragon_Queen_666
  • 21
    RainGirl11 NTA but why do your sisters dislike each other so much they don't even want their children to have a relationship with each other?
    via u/RainGirl11
  • 22
    Life_Temperature2506 NTA. You're not a miracle worker. It's amazing that you have a good relationship with both, individually. Your P's should recognize that and back off.
    via u/Life_Temperature2506
  • 23
    Ipso-Pacto-Facto It's not your job to fix for sure but as a parent it would gut me. But again, you're not the fixer here.
    via u/Ipso-Pacto-Facto
  • 24
    Responsible-Range-66 NTA. I went no contact with my dad for two years because he simply wouldn't accept, to the extent I DREADED seeing him, that I refused to ally with him to intervene in my older brother's life choices. So I stopped seeing him.
    via u/Responsible-Range-66
  • 25
    Brilliant-Bother-503 Stay out of it. Your twin sisters' relationship is not your problem. Stop talking to your mother about it. Tell her you don't want to involved.
    via u/Brilliant-Bother-503

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family drama older sister entitled parents sisters daughters parenting dad family grandparents twins sister estranged little sister daughter parent mom identical Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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